Transcript
0:03 when a teen lies it's possible that they're just trying to get out of trouble there's also a possibility that they're not sure that you're going to be able to handle the news that is true so when you find that they lie about something like being at a party and something happens their fear is that you will just so blow off the planet about that that it will become a bigger disaster than it would have been if they had just
0:27 handled it themselves so our responsibility for teens is to really build a foundation where they can trust that we're going to be steady that we're going to listen to it and this is really really hard because every parent of a teenager knows their life is hanging by a thread anything could go wrong and they could drop into the into the ravine so what we want is to make sure that nothing bad could touch them and yet they live in a world where lots
0:57 of things can go wrong and their job is to figure out how to navigate through that how to manage that and so let's say that you found out that there was drinking some place where there shouldn't have been and uh you you know you find out later and they never said it and you feel like that's been a big betrayal of the trust between you you didn't tell me that this was happening i had to hear it from somebody else
1:21 one of the reasons that they might not have uh have admitted to that and again there are lies that are very direct and there are just lies of omission you know i never said there wasn't drinking so the lies of omission tend to be more about you won't listen to this or you won't trust me through this you will assume something that i know wasn't true about this so there's got to be some level within us where we can step back and say
1:49 i'm willing to hear this story out and this is where we come back to that whole curiosity piece i'd like to know your side of this your take on it what is it that you experienced in that how did you see people making wiser choices than other people how did that work for them so what might you do if you were in that circumstance the next time they will trust us to manage the conflicts they experience
2:13 if we show the ability to walk through that conflict situation and listen to it hear it and help guide them through it
Summary
- Teens often lie to avoid parental disappointment or fear of punishment.
- Lies can be direct or through omission, reflecting their uncertainty about parental reactions.
- Parents should strive to create a steady and trusting environment for open dialogue.
- Curiosity and willingness to listen are essential for understanding a teen's perspective.
- Encouraging teens to reflect on their choices helps them navigate difficult situations.
- Open communication fosters trust, enabling teens to share their experiences more freely.
- Parents should focus on guiding teens through conflicts rather than reacting with anger or disappointment.