Bonding with Baby - How New Dads Can Bond With Their Newborn | Dad University

0:00 You either have a baby on the way or your child was just born and you want to know how to bond with your baby. I have a few tips for soon to be dads to bond with the baby while it's still in the womb. And then we're going to talk about a couple of things that you can do as a new dad with your newborn once it arrives. Hey guys, I'm Jason Kreidman and welcome to another episode of dad University.

0:28 We release a new dad advice video every Thursday, so be sure to like this video. Subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell. Also, it really helps us grow when you guys share these videos. Maybe you know three people that you can share this to. If you do, we'd greatly appreciate it. As you were probably feeling, having a baby can bring up all kinds of emotions. You might be excited, scared, happy, or even anxious.

0:59 It's all very common just to set expectations and be very clear. Everyone is different, especially as it relates to bonding with your baby. So I just want to say off the bat, it's okay if you don't bond with your baby right away. It's okay. I remember my wife and I brought our first child, our son, home from the hospital and he was in the car seat or the carrier and and we set him on the bed and we looked at each other and I remember saying, okay, now what do we do?

1:32 My wife was a labor and delivery nurse, so she was much more comfortable around a baby than I was. I hadn't been around babies really at all. She also had a bond with him right away. Granted, she carried him for nine months and was breastfeeding. It actually took me a couple of months after he was born to really start feeling connected to him and I'll get into that a little bit later in this video. If your baby is still in the womb and hasn't been born yet, here are a few things that you can try to increase the bonding with your baby.

2:07 First, feel the baby move. Put your hands on your wife's stomach and feel that baby kick or move. It gets real when you feel a kick or you can feel the baby turn. Experiencing the movement of your child in the womb can assist with bonding. Your wife gets to feel that probably a lot, so it's nice to be able to feel that movement as well. Another talk, read or sing to your baby. You can foster the bonding process by being verbal.

2:39 Your baby gets to hear your voice and you get to feel like you're communicating directly to it. Many experts suggest this and People love it. For me, talking into my wife's belly just did not come natural. I tried it a few times, but it just was not my thing. But it's still worth a try. Next, get a sonogram. So get a printout or a digital copy of the ultrasound. It makes it tangible.

3:10 When I saw the picture of our child, it was crazy. I was fascinated by it. I couldn't believe that this was our child. And for many, I think that that assists in the bonding when you can actually see the picture of the child. The last thing I'm suggesting prior to the baby being born, and I'm putting it in this section because it requires some planning, is taking paternity leave. I understand not everybody has the ability to take that time off, but if you can in any way, I would highly suggest it.

3:43 Paternity leave gives you the ability to spend that time, the early time with your child. Okay, so those are a coup of things that you can do to try to increase bonding prior to the baby's birth. Once the baby is born, there are definitely things that you can try to increase the bonding with your child again. Remember, you may not feel that strong bond right away and that's okay. It is very common. Number one, skin to skin contact.

4:13 This is a really cool feeling for both of you. But basically you lie down or you recline in a chair and you put the baby on your bare chest. Another way is you could give the baby a massage. Both putting the baby on your chest and a massage are both really good ways for increasing the bonding. Number two, feeding. If your wife is breastfeeding, then she may be able to pump some milk so that you could participate in the feedings as well.

4:42 If she is not breastfeeding and you're using formula, then use that feeding time to bond with your child. Number three, changing diapers. I touched on this in our diaper changing video. The time that you are changing diapers can really be used as a bonding time with your child. Make it a positive experience that you can interact with your child during that time instead of it being some kind of chore or something that you have to do.

5:09 Number four, bathing. Most babies really enjoy a warm bath so you can bond with your baby by giving them a bath. I know in our house, bath time was an awesome bonding time. You can even get in the tub with them if you want. Number five, wear your baby. You can use a baby carrier to be close to your baby and still be able to do other things. Baby wearing, especially for dads, has become more popular in recent years.

5:41 This gives you the ability to stay close, yet maybe share and do activities which can assist with bonding. Number six Eye contact. Look at them closely. Smile. Make faces. You can communicate with them with just facial expressions. Eventually, your baby will try to imitate your expressions. It's a fun game. The overall advice here is to spend time with your baby. It takes time to create a bond. If you spend a different amount of time than your spouse, then you're going to have discrepancies in how fast you create that bond.

6:15 As I mentioned in the beginning of this video, it took me a couple of months to really feel that strong bond with my child. I think there was a couple of reasons for this. One, I had never really been around babies and so I wasn't familiar with them. And then two I didn't spend as much time with our child as my wife did. And so for me, the bond took much longer to develop. For our second child, our daughter, it was a little different I think because I had been through it before.

6:44 The process happened much quicker and I felt that bond much quicker. But either way, don't get frustrated if you don't feel a strong bond right away. If you spend time with your child, you will eventually feel a strong bond. I promise. I would love to hear from you. Are you having difficulty bonding with your child or is there something that you did that helped you bond with them faster? Leave your feedback in the comment section below.

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