Transcript
0:00 how many of you know of other parents that erase the handwriting when the handwriting isn't good anything the kid doesn't do well you didn't brush your teeth well because the whole day ran swimmingly we got to say something to the child we got to pretend and assert like an auditor we must assert control go to a game and watch them not for the sake of witnessing the as is but for the sake of cheering or if I'm not there to encourage or if
0:29 I'm not there how will they feel about me or if I'm not there how will I show I'm a good parent and all those sorts of values and assertions and impositions on your child because it's about us us us so we seek validation how about you just sat with your own worthiness in that moment and you just sat with your own praising yourself because the instinct is to find the mirror in the other and to use the
0:52 mirror and children then become the ultimate mirror that we use and we abuse and we suck from show me see me show me that I'm worthy please complete my dreams fill my expectations make me feel Grand and competent show me that I have some control we love it when our children listen to us not because they are developing The Faculty of mindfulness or attention because it gives us a boost and of steroid boost of power so if you're not
1:18 careful to know yourself at this deepest level then you will constantly be ignorant craving and aversive [Music]
Summary
- Parents often erase children's mistakes to maintain control and project their own insecurities.
- Many parents attend children's activities not just to support them, but to seek validation for themselves.
- The desire for children to reflect parental worthiness can lead to unhealthy expectations and pressures.
- Children become a mirror for parents, reflecting their self-esteem and personal achievements.
- The speaker urges parents to cultivate their own self-worth independently of their children's actions.
- Understanding one's motivations can prevent the cycle of seeking validation through children.
- Acknowledging and addressing these dynamics is crucial for healthier parent-child relationships.