Jagriti66 - #1 UnLearning, Emptying, Maybe - 23 Jan 2026

0:00 forgetful me. Okay. Okay. So, hi, good evening. Um, and it's very very exciting for me uh to be here with you all. Um, why is it exciting to to uh to me? It's actually both exciting and nervous for me. uh so I am feeling nervous as as I always do on the first session and uh maybe for an obvious reason maybe not for an obvious reason we'll talk about it some other time but I want to tell you why I'm excited so uh for me it's been a it's been a very interesting journey uh and I've been through 65 batches of Jagriti and this is the 66th and um why I'm excited is every time there is a batch I I learn a lot of new things. Yeah. Based on what questions you ask and what the sharings you share from your life, from your home. So there is so much uh for me to gain. So I always keep saying that uh you know u in spite of 65 batches it isn't enough for me.

1:19 I'm still learning. I possibly learned little till now and I'm learning more and more and more. So, so I'm that's what that's the reason I'm excited because I'm looking forward to one more lovely group of people to learn from to learn with and to engage with and so on. Yeah. So that's that's that's what excites me. Um when when we started uh this program it wasn't called Jagrati. It was called something else. uh when we started we thought uh you know we will just share a little about what we do and how we do and so on but over time it has uh kind of evolved in its own beast of of its own making and um u and and then you know the the whole wheel of expectations increases okay so now it's evolving now it should be delivered this way or it this has to happen or or I should create this thing or that thing And you know, so as the batches go, a very very strange kind of a nervousness comes into me. Okay. Am I am I there being able to do what I'm I'm supposed to do? But yeah, the best part is that you guys are there with me. I don't see that I'm serving you. I'm seeing that I'm going to learn with you. So everything good, right? So that's a reassurance. And um yeah as I said um this little rambling me at the beginning I will just talk talk talk talk. Yeah.

2:51 Uh the other thing I want to just point out uh the the whole program started with me and Aditi my wife uh we both doing this program uh together. When we said together we were normally taking some sessions she would be conducting some sessions I would be conducting. uh but last one and a half years she's little medically indisposed uh which is the reason she's not uh not too much in favor of she's gone through some some stuff uh in her in her brain medically.

3:23 So she's not too too uh you can say happy with being in front of a screen. Uh which is why uh she may not be taking any session session but we will definitely have we have a concept called I will talk about that later called Jagit T sessions which is informal chitchats and sharings and so on. So we'll definitely have her there and you can interact with her. So what I'm trying to tell you is a bad news that you'll have to bear with me for most probably for all the sessions you like it or not well you got to have me there. Um yeah so that's that's little to just give you perspectives. Um Jagriti as a program depends very heavily on uh your participation and when I say your participation I obviously don't just mean your participation in the session. Session is a very small time. it's just 2 hours but the bigger chunk of is the rest of the seven days or or whatever rest of the days you know and rest of the hours on the rest of the day. So there's lot that you can do and you can share and and we can you know we can do a lot of things together. The best part is that the journey does not end with this patch. I don't know if you know about it that uh we just keep rolling as in people keep coming back. I can see for example Joti here from from some time back. Hi Joti.

4:48 Uh so people keep coming back into next Jagriti and next Jagrati for reasons they it's up to them why they keep coming back but it's always fun to have interact more because we haven't really covered anything fully. Um even after 65 batches as I said I keep learning. Okay enough of rambling. I think I've I've taken up good 6 minutes. So yeah uh let's let's kind of begin. So I I want to start with a formal introduction of uh of uh in some way what is Jagriti program or rather how it will work how it will happen uh and so on and to do that formal introduction I want to do a small activity mhm uh or it's not even an activity uh what do I call it okay let's just call it I want to create some music right So the invitation to all of you right now is to unmute your mic and let's make some music together. You can you can do anything. You can sing, you can drum on your table, on your lap, you can do beatboxing.

6:14 Come on, unmute your mics and join in. You can you can la Come on. Come on.

7:21 Hello. Hello. Did you believe?

7:59 La. Is that it? Is that it? Thank you. Thank you.

8:31 >> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> Okay. Some of them are still going up. Superb. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, thank you for a worthy introduction to Jagrati. Now, what does this mean? Uh what did you understand out of this? Um what are your thoughts after being part of this little activity? Um why do you think this is an introduction to Jagrati? What it tells you about the Jagrati program?

9:09 You can come on mic, you can come on chat. Feel free share. Please come on video also. So please share what this little introduction as I said it's a formal introduction. Okay. Uh >> I think it what I what it meant probably to me is that we are all >> we are all >> nothing there's no right or wrong. >> Okay. There's no right and wrong. Ridi saying be free.

9:41 >> Music make some sounds and uh it's like we are all doing it in our own way but there's no right or wrong. >> Okay. Okay. Priyanka is saying together we can create miracles. Okay, Ishwari is also saying be free, forget about perfection. Aditi is saying let go of hang-ups, free of judgments. Ishwing bring out the child in you. Mah is saying everyone has their own uniqueness. More people on mic would like to hear your voices also.

10:13 >> I felt like a child again. You know, I could just do whatever I wanted without being judgmental, you know, without others being judging me. Okay. Okay. >> So, I have been telling my children that I think they and why are they shy? I don't know. And they don't mingle with other friends too much. And now if myself wait, don't bring the children right now. We we'll talk about the children after the first 11 sessions. >> Found that I have inhibitions when trying to do something different.

10:43 >> Just just say what did this tell you about Jagati? Right. No, let's stay with that. >> Okay. Huh? >> Uh others please share whatever whatever thoughts are coming to your mind. >> Saying s don't care about what others think. >> Um >> sorry somebody's mic was giving an echo back. Yeah sorry somebody was speaking.

11:14 Um continue again. Please go ahead. Somebody was speaking. Sorry. I think I tried to correct the eco part. >> Um in my opinion, I think it's just about um finding your own rhythm, you know. >> Finding your own rhythm. Okay. Okay. So, >> okay. Priya saying celebration. Sati saying cocreating collaboration.

11:46 Manali is saying okay somebody name is OPO please change your name to your own name it's saying be yourself so please tell us your name whoever's type >> bring the noise out of your head >> bring the noise out of your head okay is saying bring the noise out of your head >> enjoy life enjoy the chaos >> enjoy the chaos okay enjoy life >> everybody means everyone has some different uh strength. Somebody can dance, someone can u play some good music. So uh whatever your strength is, just be happy with that and focus on that.

12:30 >> Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. >> Focus on your strength. Enjoy every moment and don't budge. Uh >> being in the present moment. >> Mhm. Being in the present moment. Okay. What feels like chaotic to others might be your music or vice versa also. >> Yeah. Yeah. What feels like chaotic to others could be your music. Yes.

13:01 >> There is no structure for the program. >> Okay. Okay. There is no You said structure, right? >> Uhhuh. >> I heard it as stretcher. Well, take it as both. There is no structure and no stretcher for I'll take it as both. Both is a good introduction. Yeah. Ka is saying I think Ka you were trying to say on the mic. Go ahead. Please. We would like to hear people's voices. So, but okay. Chat is also fine. But she's saying everyone is having their own rhythm and their own way of nothing is good or bad. Yes. And we are all contributing. Absolutely.

13:41 Mhm. Anybody else? Anything else from this little introduction? For people who have just joined in, if you missed the introduction, we just created a little music together. We just did it all together. Yeah. >> We are all here to make some noise. >> Yes. Yes. Ah, Shakila, good to good to have you back, Shaka. long time. >> Sometimes to find out the rhythm in your life >> is go through noise and chaos.

14:19 >> Interesting. Yeah. So maybe maybe Jagrit is an attempt to find rhythm >> by going through chaos. Okay. Okay. Okay. We've got lots of thoughts and maybe it's all of this and maybe many more maybe many more thoughts are there in your minds and um or it could mean many more things. So which which also means that we aren't trying to do one thing. We're trying to do many many things and each one will have their own as you said own chaos. Yeah. So yeah welcome that is how um we say life is and that is how Jagrati is right. Um so welcome everybody and thank you um for for helping me with the introduction.

15:01 Right. And um yeah right so um there there's a little um story to this word jagriti. Uh it's very long back we used to do this in our center in Bangalore. We used to have a center in Bangalore and we used to serve tea and um uh you know one of the participant he said you know the tea here is amazing it's very tasty so he said forget the sessions I come here for the tea you know so that's how the name and he gave it name as jagrit tea so that's the reason he was coming there so that's how um a lot of people uh and you will hear this word tea again and again again and again um so I want to start with uh taking this introduction a little forward now. This time more going into what I'm what is what is there in store for you. Um I I want to tell you couple of tea stories. So I have this I have this very strange habit of telling many stories. Uh you like it or not that I don't know but I hope you like stories because you're going to hear loads and loads of them. So I want to start with two tea stories which are which are very important for us and um especially for the Jagrati program. So let let's let's let me share the stories with you and help me with what you understand from those stories. Yeah. Okay. So uh and these stories the the stories that I share are not very most of them you might have even heard or in today's world it might have got forwarded to you on some social media.

16:47 So that's okay. It doesn't matter because every story is like a uh you know it's like an onion. You can peel keep peeling layers and you can get more and more learnings out of them. Right? Okay. So this is the first story. It's um so today's both the stories are Zen stories uh and um u the first story goes like this that there's this guy who um who hears about a monk and says hey I want to learn from that monk I've heard a lot about that monk so he goes all the way travels a long way and reaches to that monk and to the monk he says I want to learn from you and I have come from so and so place and I'm so and So person and I've done this and this and this in life and I have achieved this and this and this in my life and I explored this and I did this and he gives a long detailed you know narration of what he has been doing and he says I've come all the way to learn uh from you. Um so the monk says um sorry I can't teach you anything.

17:58 So he's like, "What? I came all the way in. This is what he says, but what what happened?" So the monk uh you know, meanwhile the tea is served for them. So the monk picks up a cup uh which has tea in it and picks up a kettle and starts pouring more tea in onto the cup and obviously the tea starts overflowing onto the the table and and this guy saying, "What are you doing?" Meaning there's like the tea spilling all over the place. what are you doing? And the monk just smiles and keeps the kettle down and starts to walk away. Um, and that's when this guy suddenly says realizes what what he has uh, you know, whatever done and he just picks up his cup, makes it upside down.

18:48 All the tea falls onto the floor joining the spilled tea and runs behind the monk saying waving the the cup the empty cup and saying I'm ready. I'm ready. So that's my first story. Your thoughts. Please use mic or chat whatever makes you comfortable.

19:22 >> In order to learn something first you need to unlearn what you have learned which is not serving you in a meaningful way. Okay. Okay. Lava is saying be open to lifelong learning. saying empty your mind first. Saying we should be ready to learn.

19:54 >> We have to surrender to the teacher. Whatever he will teach, we have to trust them and um surrender to the process like like unlearning whatever that is stored in our uh um brain. how we have conditioned till now. >> So as you are a teacher for us, we have to surrender to the process that whatever you will teach, we have to um go through that.

20:30 >> Okay, you see it that way. Fair enough. >> Means we have to implement that without thinking so much whatever we have learned. We have to just >> keep working on us >> with your guidance. >> Okay. Somebody's saying is saying be open to learning. Satya is saying be open to different views, opinions, perspectives. Me is saying empty your cup first.

21:01 >> Be a clean slate maybe. >> Mhm. Be a clean slate. Okay. You can have a counter views to all the other views. Go ahead please. You don't have to have a very uh you can you can see the whole story in any which way you want. >> I have I Hi Rat Chandra on this side. Uh so one view that I have how do you choose the moment to say that yeah I want to uh you know empty my cup and fill it with something else maybe what you have already in the cup.

21:36 Sorry that's a how which is fine but let's go back to the story meaning why that happened what was what was the monk trying to do what was the other guy trying to do let's stay with the story how we will come to later so yeah more share what what you think is happening why this story has relevance to us >> uh >> we have gathered here the first day to say I am ready >> mhm I am ready Okay. Aushi is saying open to learn new thing. There's never enough saying >> don't be too full of yourself. Be teachable.

22:15 >> Mhm. Be don't be too full of yourself. Okay. Ready to unlearn new habits. >> Curiosity is um required. It is necessary to learn something. >> Okay. Curiosity is required. Mhm.

22:49 So remember the the the monk just poured the tea and as it overflow he just walked away. No thoughts. You can even question the story that it's not like that you have to only learn from the story and all that. You just you can say you can say this is rubbish. You can say this should have been like this you what kind of a monk is this or what kind of a person. Let's we can dissect it in any which way.

23:21 We don't have to have some nice nice answers. We can have some interesting answers also. I think the the monk wanted the student to realize or understand it by himself instead of explaining the reason behind his action. >> So that will strike uh better than somebody giving all the explanation.

23:54 >> Sure. Sure. M >> I think that was the first lesson that the monk teached. >> Come again. >> Uh I think that was the first lesson, the first teaching of the monk that he taught him. >> Yeah, you in chat also. And what was the first teaching? uh that uh like you cannot learn something and then uh what do we say full cup like >> it needs to be empty.

24:30 >> Mhm. >> Shut is asking what is the point of pouring tea into a full cup and wasting it. Maybe that is what the monk was saying. What is the point? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Somebody your name is still OPOC CPH2667 request at least tell us your name so I can address you by name you are saying already full of knowledge >> started saying that how did the Jagrati name came into picture >> okay yeah maybe >> is it enlightenment >> at least it is waking up if not enlightenment >> how are you glad to see you after a year Almost.

25:15 >> Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. >> He was there in the 5 to5 last year. >> Yes. Five at five. >> Yes. Yes. Five at five. >> Si is saying open-minded. >> Okay. Anybody with a very different thought? Many of the thoughts are similar. That's good. But anybody with something very different, a different take on this. >> Uh I will say for me it was very metaphoric like monk is trying to give the message. If you are already full of the tea and you are putting more tea then you are not just wasting the tea you are also uh making uh the the table is dirty >> and such as if you already have uh knowledge and you you want to take more knowledge knowledge without unlearning the thing then you are just not creating mess up in your mind but also uh in your circumstance.

26:07 >> Okay. >> Yeah. So it was something like metaphoric for me. Okay. >> Yeah. >> But why waste the tea for that? >> It might be tea was the very easily available thing on the table. Just he poured the tea on the cup and he so see you are not just wasting the tea but you are also making the table very dirty. >> Pria is saying yeah you need to be ready to accept uh anything new. You will not mind will not be ready to accept if it's already.

26:44 Okay. Satya is saying think of yourself. Arpan is saying why empty the whole cup. Yeah. Just make little room for new knowledge. Exactly. Satya is saying don't seek a guru. Nice. I like that. That's much better. Yes. Okay. We we'll we'll pause here now that that is the end of our thoughts from this story. Um and we can continue more thoughts. We can share more thoughts in our WhatsApp group uh later on and and we can talk more about this story, what it means to us. And in any case, this story will keep coming back. So don't worry, we we'll we'll explore the story in many many many many different ways.

27:31 Uh including many of the ways that you have already shared. Let me tell you one more story kind of a you can in a way say a sequel to this story. Yeah. Okay. The story goes like this that there's this guy who goes up to a Zen master and says I want to learn Zen. Mhm. So the Zen master says look u I can teach you but I would rather that you uh go down the street and at the corner at the end of the street at the corner there is a tea shop run while by an elderly lady uh I think it would be much better you will learn much better from her. So why don't you go to her? So this guy says okay as well. Okay. So he just goes down the street to the edge of the uh edge of the street, sorry, edge of the uh corner of the street. There is a little tea shop and he goes into the tea shop and there's that elderly lady who's the owner of the tea shop. And he goes up to her and he says, "Um, will you teach me Zen?" And you know what this lady does?

28:40 She slaps him back, you know, hard slap on his cheek. Like this guy's like zapped and he runs out of the tea shop and keeps running literally till his house you know and when he reaches his house he's like thinking you know why on the earth she slapped me I just asked I want to learn Zen will you teach me and this lady slapped me like anything so he's but he's very curious you know whole night he keeps thinking you know why why why so next morning he goes back obviously this time disguise because he thinks and he goes the same way, he'll get slapped. So he goes disguise and um and this time obviously he does not go and ask her because he's he knows he'll be slapped. So he goes and quietly sits in her tea shop as a customer.

29:31 And as he sits there as a customer, uh well he observes he observes the tea shop. He observes how the lady makes the tea. He observes how the lady serves the tea and how she interacts with everybody and how the whole thing, you know, all this whole tea shop is going on. And as he observes and as he observes and as he observes, he gets to know what is Zen.

30:07 That's the story. your thoughts. >> So does that mean questioning is wrong? >> I don't know. You can think whatever from the Satya last chat message is by Satya saying don't seek a guru and this guy went and see what happened to him.

30:50 Yeah. Your thoughts? Maybe it's more about you be in that moment like whether so when somebody's slapping your head could be anywhere and then you know that that moment brings you in that moment and then when you are observing actually what you are realizing is whatever is going on. >> Mhm. >> I mean instead of being in the past or in the future you know the way in which our you know mind usually is like you keep wanting to accumulate and do things and do that and all that. Instead of that maybe if you are just here and just breathe and and just see the beauty whatever is there in front of you could be any random activity not not necessarily it has to be the breathtaking views etc etc but then when that is there and when you soak in maybe that's more of maybe that state could be more zen like where you are in that moment at every moment you are in the moment so like uh >> okay >> something like that maybe >> yeah I think Akancha is saying something similar being in present moment and observing the situation.

31:55 Okay. >> Stupid question. What is Zen? >> Doesn't matter. You'll have to be slapped then go back to the tea shop to know what is Zen >> and get slapped as well. >> Observation is the starting of learning. Mhm. Okay.

32:27 >> Sorry. >> Please go ahead. >> I think when you go in with no expectations but keep an open mind >> then you yourself uh better and uh find perhaps what you're looking for. >> Okay. Okay. Uh >> yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. >> Yeah. So what I felt is um I mean the the new teacher is just demonstrating.

33:01 So and you can just look at what she's doing and then follow it and uh I think it's focuses more on doing and um following what somebody's doing than you know learning let's say by theory. So >> that's right. >> Yeah, I have two kind of takes for this. One is like uh uh for your own feelings like if it is so much internal to you. It's not a physical aspect. If we want to learn Zen, so it cannot be taught by someone else. It is only us who can experience and discover it for ourselves.

33:49 And the second thing was that the slab uh was like uh without that uh jutka we that is also required to realize or to experience it. So until we have so much of storm going through outside we will not be able to get the uh peace or whatever the calmness inside. Sure. And there are many more u responses in the chat. I hope you all are following those also. Ka is talking about understanding things slowly. Shri saying the lady doesn't seem too zen but the guy gets to learn Zen from her maybe.

34:30 >> Okay saying Karthik is saying just one moment let me summarize the chat responses also that whatever we are interested in we stay in the moment that is Zen. Okay, Priya is saying maybe it's just because Jagriti is there. Living and life, life and living cannot be taught. Okay. Goes back even after slash that shows us thirst for zen. Yeah, we need more slaps. Thinking skills beauty of observation just observe don't seek. Okay. Calm your mind and discover by observing internally and externally. Say sa.

35:09 Okay. Thanks. Thanks. Then yeah somebody was talking I interrupted please carry on. >> Yeah yeah yeah so I was saying that uh maybe uh that man approached saying key will you teach me zen and the slap was like the teaching. So the that was the teaching that led to the teaching or the teaching maybe that was maybe So I have three angles. Um first is maybe he slapped him. She slapped him is maybe her way to teach something.

35:50 >> Um second is uh if we observe first the question could be different. >> And third was observation leads the process of learning. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Anybody with a different view, a counter view or not a counter counter view as in a different view from what has been shared till now. I >> think the this lab probably was a test whether the student is persistent. Will he come back? If he really wants to learn, he will come back.

36:25 >> Kasha is saying answer is be here now. That's where the zen and there is and she somehow taught him. Okay. As I said, I would leave you uh with these stories for you to keep thinking about. Share it with the other people around you uh with your friends, colleagues, whoever and see what you get out of them and your own mind. Um but I want to I I do want to share that uh we cannot really teach you anything. If you have come here so that we will teach you something well unlikely we will teach you anything but what we can do is we can slap you and we can let's say when I'm using the word we as in all of us not just me I'm not saying I so there's no one guru here I can see as many gurus here yeah so let's not go with the idea if you're if you're coming here for one guru That's too small. Uh uh you know let's let's take the whole b the whole bounty you know you got so much so many wonderful people here there 54 people in this call and some haven't joined in today for various commitments.

37:42 So look at the the group size there's a big group so we can learn so much from each other. Yeah. But yeah, the whole idea is of Jagriti is to do that is to push you, pull you, knock you, shock you, surprise you, and definitely not answer you. Yeah, it's your search. It's not our search. You have come here. Yeah, we did call you, but but you've come here, so it's your search.

38:14 uh if you get a slap maybe so in a way I want also um and that's why the folded hands I I also want a a kind of a you can say an okay from you that it's okay if we slap you. Are you okay to be slapped? Because that's what we're going to do. Uh so all along we'll we'll slap you. We again all of us each other. So are you okay to that? So I want a categorical yes or a okay in the chat so I know that everybody's okay with it because that's what Ji it isn't about me telling you something do this or who wants to do that >> since it is online it is okay.

39:03 >> Um well well that I don't know sometimes the online jet cars can be tougher than the in person. What if record will come over to your place? Why not? All right. We are together now in this journey. So So that's that's all right. Yes. And we can we can always delegate somebody else to go your neighbor to go ahead and do the needful.

39:35 Right. So yes, please please give me more okay in the chat window. I got some yeses. >> I really thought there will not be any punishments. >> Uh well um it's a slap. You call it punishment. Maybe maybe punishments are good. Why not? Maybe they're unnecessarily blamed. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Maybe. I don't know. I I really don't know. I I don't have a take on punishment right now. But I can tell you that uh yeah this isn't going to be easy. There's going to be slaps here and there right. Um okayishi is also talking about simply deciding to learn is not enough.

40:21 Dedication and consistency is essential. Well if there's no dedication consistency there's a slap coming up right. Okay. So I hope you are okay with it. If you're not okay with with this slab then I really don't know what to say because yes Saka is saying I'm already a little scared. That's nice. Being scared is good. That means we are on an adventure right you know adventure without scare feeling is not an adventure isn't it? Then we might as well put all the ships in the harbor and harbor and sit calmly you know but that's when we go out into the sea and that's when the adventure begins. So good good. I like the scary part.

41:02 Yeah, that's where the excitement begins. Okay. Um, let's move ahead. So, these two stories are not complete. We've just shared the stories and top of the mind thoughts. I'm sure there's much much more uh that you will share in in the coming days and weeks in different context. So, it doesn't need to be just the story story but in different context. Yeah. Okay. Let's move ahead. Let's do a small very tiny little activity. I want all of you to do this standing up. So, wherever you are, a small request if you can stand up. Um, don't worry about your video. Uh, just stand up and rotate your right leg in the clockwise direction. If you if you just can't stand up as in if you have a baby in your lap or something like that and just can't stand up, at least dangle your legs, you know, down somewhere, let's say from the bed or somewhere so that you can still move your legs. Yeah.

42:00 So stand up and rotate your right leg in clockwise direction. And while rotating your right leg in clockwise direction, write a large six in the air with your right hand. Yeah. While you are rotating the right leg in clockwise direction, write a large six top to bottom in the air with your right hand. Go ahead. Try it out. If you have to be sitting. Yeah. Just dangle your legs and try and do it.

42:35 >> Both are going in the same direction. >> We will we'll discuss. Let just people explore first. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Right leg, right hand and a large six from top to down clockwise direction.

43:11 At least from the people in the video, I can make out some of you are still trying. That's nice. >> Why is it so difficult? like it this is not really happening >> right somebody's still trying I don't know there's a lot of people who are not on video uh well I would as I said I I like people on video so I can connect with you visually okay Manali is saying needs a lot of effort and concentration is saying Try slowly. I could Okay. Reach a little longer. Not happening.

43:59 Um yeah, difficult. Okay. Able to do it for some time. Bhavna is saying. Okay. Some of you are still at it maybe and maybe it's coming slowly, slowly, slowly. Mhm. Okay. Okay. Just park uh just spark the thought. Um yeah, difficult. I gave up. Okay. Um yeah, some of us are giving up.

44:29 Some of us are still trying. Um some of us are just complaining, right? Doesn't sink with left. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Um so I I just wanted to with this small activity draw your attention to to what happens to us um when we when we try and do something new and we find it difficult what so for a moment just think you don't have to share just think what emotions you went through when it was not happening it whatever whatever you were feeling just just just recall that feeling in your mind you don't have to share um just connect with that feeling that when when something was daunting and I'm assuming this was not so straightforward what feelings or feeling you went through and um just keep that in the mind because the next that I'm going to share I want you to keep this feeling in mind because this is important whatever you went through you gave up you kept on trying u uh sange saying feel so funny whatever giving uh sinking problems whatever.

45:47 Yeah, just keep that in mind. Let me just move ahead. So I want to share with you something a little something and and and then you connected with this activity, right? But I wanted you to obviously do the activity before. So a singing embarrassing I I want to show you share with you a process a process which all of us are familiar with. Um but there's a reason I want to share with you. Um so how does how does typically something new we learn? I'll take an analogy of uh me learning how to drive a car. I'm just taking that because I'm assuming many of us here know how to drive a car or a cycle or a whatever whatever vehicle uh you have learned to drive uh and and that'll I hope you will connect uh with what I'm sharing. So before I could know how to drive a car, uh much before when I was much younger, um I was kind of unconsciously incompetent. When I why do I use the word unconscious is because I wasn't caring about it. I was just being driven around by different people. It didn't matter to me that I don't know how to drive and I was just unconscious about it. I wasn't thinking about it.

47:00 Again to give you another uh example of this would be how most of us don't know how to fly an aeroplane but we are unconsciously incompetent you know we we don't even think about it that oh I don't know how to fly an aeroplane something like that now the day I decided that I want to drive a car and I sat down in the car and then the person said this is you know the gear and accelerator and clutch and all that and and it jugged and just stopped and you know didn't move the way I thought it would move. Suddenly I realized I became conscious of my incompetence. I said, "Oh my goodness, I don't know this how incompetent I am. I can't drive a simple thing, three pedals and I can't figure that out." Right?

47:42 >> So um so that's the stage of conscious incompetence. But thankfully I continued to try try driving it and one fine day I felt that I was ready for my first solo drive right when I could go from a point A to B all by myself and um and that's the time I was very very conscious I was so conscious I was adjusting the rear view mirror 10 times I was like hushing up everybody in the car I was nervous my palms were sweaty this is my first solo ride will I be able to do it properly will I back the car somewhere right or all those things you know very very conscious but I was competent because I did manage to reach from A to B. Yeah.

48:26 And now let's zoom further out further forward and now I can just go from anywhere to anywhere and I don't even realize that I'm driving. So I have become unconsciously competent. Yeah. So somewhere in this activity if if this was the the six drawing six if till yesterday maybe you maybe you were unconsciously incompetent you didn't even know this activity existed isn't it? uh and then suddenly when you started doing it you realized that oh I don't know how to do this you know so you are consciously incompetent and I'm sure as somebody was also indicating in the chat window that if you tried sufficient number of times you will slowly slowly start getting into uh conscious competence does that make sense now by itself this is as I said by itself we kind of know this you may not know the terms how does that matter but we know we've done this uh now Why is this important? Why am I sharing this here? Yeah. Up front in the first session itself. Um it's because of this this little band. Can you see this band on the screen? Which is what I call as the pink zone.

49:40 Now this is this is the area which is the full of feelings and struggle and effort and sustainance. And if you don't sustain so much so many of us give up like I picked up guitar and I found it too difficult. I got all you know my fingers were sore and ah I'm not doing this I can't get this you know chords right so I gave up the guitar so that was when I was in between these two and so many other things I gave up in my life and saying ah this is too difficult you know and I just gave up um and then so many things I did not give up and continued to put in more and more and more and more effort and I did cross over to unconscious competence I'm sure similar story you would app. Now you would say ah we know this again. What's the big deal? Why are you sharing this?

50:31 Um so let me share one last thought on this. I want you to think about let's say a a 4year-old let's say yeah or a 4year-old child. Now a four-year-old child and let's say think about yourself in how many in how many activities of your day today are you going through this spin zone right now how many of those activities now in my case I'm like really most of it I already know man so I'm maybe one thing maybe two things maybe one funny yoga asa which I'm trying which I'm not able to get or maybe a maybe one musical instrument which I'm trying which I'm not able to get but more or less I'm I'm cool there you know most of the things I'm already cross this but think of a 4year-old right from getting up in the morning to brushing to taking bath by himself or herself to dressing up buttoning up properly you know organizing the cupboard you know managing the time in the morning, reaching for the breakfast, eating the breakfast or if it requires making a breakfast or packing the breakfast.

51:54 Uh then if the child is going to school then they're going to the school or if the child is you know still figuring out the reading part how to read, how to write, how to talk to people, how to respond, how to get things done, how to catch a ball, how to throw a ball, how to um you know swim in a pool, how to yeah, I can go on and on and on. Now this guy or this girl at 4 years is possibly going through hundred different activities in a day in that pink zone which we just 2 minutes back gave up so easily. Ah this is not working.

52:43 What do you think? Yeah. Any thoughts?

53:15 >> Never thought from the child's perspective. >> Is even questioning is the activity before really possible? See if the child would have said is it even possible to tie a shoelace? Is he tying the shoelace and so on and so on and so on but >> yeah thinking of it like this it's unbelievable as to the number of things that our children do and they fall into this bracket and I mean it's amazing to even contemplate what their minds must be going through what physically mentally emotionally while they're coping with so many things whether it's you know academic performance-led anything in school, family, home, there are just about so many things that they must be coping with that we think of as you know you should know it as a um as a norm. Uh and we don't give them the space that they do need or the appreciation that they know do need and the encouragement um through this phase.

54:23 >> I would like to add one thing. Uh so there is two two layers to this. One is the learning of the parent himself. If the parent is already unconsciously competent enough to understand and then fathom what the child is going through, uh that matters also. Uh that's what I was thinking. >> Okay.

54:58 Okay. Somebody's asked. Bhavna is asking couldn't get what you're asking. I hope with the responses Bhavna you're getting something. I'm not really asking directly directly. I'm just putting forward this scenario. You know we just experienced something a little while. We did this little activity. We kind of gave up. You know we kind of ah this is not happening. And how Satya is saying so much compassion getting evoked right. Yeah. Yeah. We are unconsciously incompetent about child's challenges.

55:33 Um >> um so this unconscious incompetence is there with the kids which is fine >> but a lot of times that unconscious competence we we tell them and we make it a conscious incompetence for them also a lot of times where they are not even aware that they are not able to do but we unknowingly or knowingly also sometimes we tell them that you are not able to do it. So >> yeah, >> that was a big realization for me. Now >> yeah, we could be making it more tough >> the pink zone. I mean they are always that's why probably in the pink zone because they always feel probably monitored or you know judged or something.

56:21 >> So that's where probably the conscious zone is is is where they always rest. Um yeah the good news is that they they sustain through they do tie the shoelaces and they we all did that right as as little kids we all sustain through all the things that we were supposed to you know learn at the same time in a day or in the in the same period of time. Um so I it is not so much about yeah to me it's not so much about the child but it's more about us more thoughts anybody else any other thoughts >> I think the awareness our awareness of uh the situation is important Like for me um now I'm being aware that uh this is the situation that the child is going through. So first of all we need to be aware of where we are at and then only help ourselves >> or our children move forward.

57:42 >> So he's saying it's too hard to be a child. I'm feeling sorry. Oh no no no no. It's not hard for the children. As I told you, it's an adventure. If there is no scare, if there are no monsters under my bed, if I'm not scared of the dark, then what is darkness for? The darkness is there for a reason, for a purpose. So all these is is the beauty that is the beauty of learning, right? That is the beauty of life and that is why it is there. Okay.

58:16 So one reason I share this right at the beginning is um forget the children since we will start slapping each other right we'll start soon doing oo's and a's and saying ah like somebody already said I'm not getting this or this is not happening or this is not I'm not able to understand or fathom this or or figure this out and that is where we'll remind you we are also in the pink zone Right? Uh and that is where I'm inviting you. So jagrati is the pink zone.

58:55 Right? It's an invitation for you to jump into the ping zone. It's not going to be easy. It's not going to be difficult. It's going to be an adventure. Are you ready for it? That's the whole idea. I'm just like the old lady. She threw this guy right into the pink zone straight away. Ma'am, can I learn from you? Fac. There you go.

59:32 Yeah. Okay. So, we'll take a pause here. Okay. We'll take a small 5 minutes break. So typically halfway through we'll take a small break. Somebody wants to go around the corner washroom etc etc drink us some water. So we'll take about 5 minutes break. Is that good enough? And then we will come back. You need not leave the meeting or anything everything you can just leave it as is. If you want to off your video mute your mic that's absolutely fine. So somewhere around 9:00 if somebody's feeling in any session why isn't giving a break please make hala and say let's break time break time break time you know. So don't so it's there's no sometimes I forget in the flow you know so you'll have to remind me right so let's take a small break and come Okay. I hope people are back.

65:34 Yeah. And I hope five minutes are a good enough time. Okay. Okay. So, I'll move ahead. Uh, a lot a lot of things we will do is for you to just experience and think about.

66:05 So we don't there's no conclusion really required because I'm sure there can be many many conclusions which is why I also look forward to a lot of reflections. So just quickly u since it's the first session just putting down what all you can expect in Jagriti program. So rather I can expect the first thing that I can expect and I would love to have and hear and and read is have lot of reflections of yours from whatever we discuss about a topic not just in the sessions but during the various discussions. Um then obviously there are these sessions which you can attend if you miss something the recordings are there and please feel free to participate in the way that you would like to. uh we would also be sharing a a daily diet a kind of a daily you can call it a write up an article or something something which will which will further uh explore the the things that we were exploring in the session so this will happen on a daily basis in the WhatsApp groups that is why for each topic we have a separate group so that what is related to that topic stays in one place and it's easier for you to navigate it at any point uh we We'll also be sharing uh almost on a daily basis something for you to do at home uh mostly with your child or if you don't have a child around at that moment just about with anybody whom you would like to right those we call as todo to dodo and yeah it would be lovely if you can share not just do them but also share in the WhatsApp group how they went what happened your experience uh we will also So try to have uh not every week but maybe once in two weeks one open house which you can uh which you can have a discussion around different things. We will also invite you to create your own open houses as in you can call your colleagues in this in this say let's meet at this time and discuss. So please do that. That's a wonderful way to explore more. So it isn't limited to us initiating the Jagrit tea sessions but you know kind of just an openhouse discussing whatever. So these are few things that would happen. Uh obviously more can happen depending on what this particular group wants. So it's it's not fixed in um in in any which way. Yeah.

68:40 Okay. Let's move ahead. Um all right. I have uh right I have already shared this and I'm sure you've got the idea that we have one group for each session so that we can go deeper into that and we also have a chitchat group where you can chitchat and we also have a stories group which I'm sure you're reading the stories we'll keep on sharing more and more stories in it and and so on. Yeah. Yeah.

69:11 Anytime you need help please DM us on the WhatsApp number. Okay. So that's just a little logistical uh quick thing. Uh so I want to little move ahead or rather move in a different direction and um um uh from whatever we have been sharing but in a way a continuation also but in a slightly different direction. Okay. So u let me start with this little small question. It says in olden days people could see through walls. This ancient invention is still used in some parts of the world.

69:45 Which invention am I talking about? >> Windows. >> Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm talking about something as simple as windows. Yeah. So in some ways Jagriti is all about just opening more windows. We are not trying to say that whichever way you do, think, operate, believe, whatever are your core principles, philosophies, everything is absolutely perfect. There is no need to change anything. What we can offer is more windows, more ways of looking at something. Yeah.

70:30 And that is our u you know that's like our humble effort to do that. Yeah. Um Okay. So, so let's explore this this concept of windows a little more. How do we how do we open more windows? Yeah. Or how do we get more windows if that is what uh we may want to think about. Yeah. Um let's do a small activity. Yeah. Now again this is an activity you might have done before some at some other place in some other gathering. Uh that's okay but just go ahead and do again. So this this activity is called end of the world activity in which uh you know the world is going to end and there are 15 people left other than you and you are the main commander uh and uh because the world is going to end you need you can take seven people to a safer planet you know another planet because our planet is going to end. Now out of the list of the people I want you to pick up seven people.

71:36 Yeah. So you can you can just think of which are those seven or you can if you have a notepad with you or somewhere write them write the numbers down or the name down. Which seven people will you save in your spaceship which you are the commander of since you have to you know leave earth because the earth is going to come to an end. Yeah. So take two minutes and think which seven people would you take.

72:09 I hope you got the activity. Just use some some notepad or your device or whatever to make a note. H everybody's chosen your seven. Even if you haven't written down, if you made a mental note that these are my seven maybe on your fingers, that's that's good enough. You can write the numbers also on your seven fingers.

73:01 Yeah, if you're done kind of just type a D in the chat so I know, okay, you're done or rather most people are Yep, you can just note down the numbers. That's good enough.

73:33 Okay, I've got some these in the chat, but that's like only few. I'm waiting for more people to confirm then I know. Okay, people are done. No, no, please don't paste it in the in the chat. You can just note it down anywhere you want to. In fact, it's a good idea if you would like to just for Jagrati have a notebook with you for the 11 sessions because we'll do a lot of activities. So, a scrapbook, a note diary, whatever you feel like. If you're more a digital kind, obviously you can use your device.

74:02 Okay. So, I think most of you have chosen your seven. Let me uh show you the second slide. Now, suddenly you get little more details about each one of them. Right. So, here's more details about the 15 and see if you would like to change your list a little.

74:59 Yeah. >> So what what so okay so I'm pausing in a way pausing the activity and I want a little discussion. The activity actually is much longer. One can do this activity for a few hours actually not just for a few minutes but we'll keep it very short. Uh yeah any any thoughts? We we can obviously go to a round three where there are more information about the person and then a round four with more information about the person and round five and so on and um yeah but I just doing these two rounds um what are what are your thoughts or yeah what's what's going on in your mind obviously you don't have to tell us what was your choices that is not important But the experience of round one and two, you know, >> more we know about people, better choices we can make.

76:01 Okay. Uh Okay. Um >> there's no one source of truth. >> Mhm. Mhm. Okay. There's no one source of truth. Don't judge too fast. Don't judge by cover. Perspectives are changing. The first selection was by bias. >> So you said two people speaking at the same time. Can you repeat please one by one? >> What is the first? >> Okay. I heard we are selfish. I think uh was saying that >> what I felt is we apply our biases when we do not know much in details.

76:42 >> Yeah. >> Selection was based on our bias. Right. Yeah. We are we are biased. So we apply our biases. We are quick to judge. Yeah. Any any more thoughts? >> Dig deeper. >> Mhm. Dig deeper. Okay. >> And one thing have may have so many angles or perspectives >> like two sides of the coin.

77:14 >> Okay. Yeah. So, yeah. So nam you're saying selection was based on our needs but maybe our needs were same in the two rounds but >> no at least for some of us >> also uh we took our choices based on our previous experiences and general >> general general either understanding of like what that person will do or how that will be helpful to us. We didn't try to think more about >> Sure. Sure.

78:00 >> In both the in both the selections, we took one thing for granted. We saved ourselves first. >> Yeah. That's the design of the game. You are the commander, so you have the choice. Yeah. You're the pilot or the commander. Yeah. Um any other thought Arpan is saying first impression may not be the whole picture but when do we know Arpan that we have got the whole picture?

78:33 Is there a whole picture or are we making the picture? Who is making the picture in the first place? Or or is it always whole picture you know h o l whole picture? >> If we add uh more lines um in this picture then our perspective will again change.

79:04 >> Again change. Yeah. Yeah. including including aure the person the the whole idea that this is how their past >> yeah sorry others can you please keep the mic on mute if you're not speaking just so the background sounds don't thank you thank you right so I was saying including the realization that even if we have so-called the whole picture yeah we can add more lines but this is only about the past. We don't know when we reach this new planet who will perform how.

79:41 Somebody who is terrible at earth could be very different person the next moment. Isn't it? So somebody said we are judging the book by the cover but the book itself isn't complete. So we can't even judge the book even if we read all the pages. Mhm. Okay. So >> sometimes it's not it's necessary to take a step. It's not necessary to know the whole picture.

80:17 >> Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. So we we still need to take a decision. That that's the that's that's the interesting part. But right now we are not talking about the decision. We talking about um the realization that our decision is always as somebody said biased biased by however however we are we are however we think in that sense by that definition we are we are always limited because we always have limited information isn't it in fact we don't even have information about future I don't even know what will happen tomorrow so in that sense we We're always limited by our past like Vibbuti was saying based on our previous experiences.

81:11 Okay, I'll I'll come back. So what what um what what we are basically saying is and I think again this is something we all know, right? We all know that there are so many different perspectives, so many different ways of looking at something. That's why we say the map is not the territory. A map is just a representations just as much as you know the perception is not the reality. Yeah, we can think of something in one way but something could be totally different way. Yeah. Let's do one more small quick activity. Um there are many sentences here. Um yeah, I I want you to quickly pick out the ones which are true for you. Just just type in chat the numbers which are true for you. Just do a quick scan.

82:06 >> I'm sure if it is only for me uh RN. >> Yeah. Yeah. But don't >> the left side of the screen is not visible. >> Uh is that same for everybody? Yeah, you got it. Got it. It was just for me. >> Visible. Visible. >> Okay. So, uh just just just type in the chat window which ones are true for you. Just type the number. So, if let's say 3 or 9 is true for you, say 3, 9. That's all that we know those are true for you.

83:06 Okay, just go ahead and write whichever are true for you. Siva is saying be good else you won't get seat in spaceship. But Shiva the question is whom should I be good to? Should I be just good as in good or good to the person who's going to choose to me? Should I butter him up? So this itself is complicated. Okay. So as you see this list you will you the chat is showing you a list of different people.

83:40 U yeah. So okay even if we don't get into any discussion just look at the list. Now your list is one and there are different people with their different lists. Um and others are still typing I guess So my first question is what what goes what is going on in your mind if you scan the chat list and see that okay for me something was true but for somebody else that was false what does that mean everyone Everyone has their own belief.

84:47 >> Mhm. And what does that mean? >> So not necessarily what is right for me has to be right for the other also or mean >> subjective. >> It is just a matter of perspective maybe. >> Okay. Yeah. So what does that mean? >> There's nothing. There is no one universal truth.

85:19 >> Okay. Chandra saying no template. Okay. Yeah. It's subjective. >> There is no one universal truth. >> Mhm. >> I'm surprised that uh all of us are like giving so many answers but I can see only seven is true for me. I can see rest of all are like not true for me. >> Yeah. So what does that tell you? That you are seeing it in one way and others are seeing it in different way. What is that telling you?

85:53 >> Is that the true and false is maybe our construct? It's it's not like there's nothing called true or false. It's just I mean how we would like to tag something as >> true. And what does that mean? The moment we say that okay they are all our constructs >> it's like uh Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Anybody who wants to say >> is a different perspectives or views. >> Sure. Sure. So when we know that there are different perspective, there are different views. What does that tells us?

86:30 >> It's like we are used to handling that situation that way. >> Fair enough. We'll come to the handling of situation in a little while. But uh we we we have a we think of something as true. Somebody else is thinking of something as false. We are saying we all have different construct different perspectives. So what is that? What is that leading you to this thought process >> true and false is just an illusion because our experience is different like all >> so that's that's the reason why they are different. Fair enough. I'm not talking about why they are different. I'm just saying we realize that we are we have different perspective different constructs even between you know let's say you and your spouse like Javal and Nanda are together they and they're chit chatting in between two of them they could have a different view right and and and now the night is gone is the right one right so what does that mean the approach to Every situation should be different approach to every person, every child.

87:42 >> Yeah. Satya is saying it means possibilities. >> Maybe that is required for for earth to exist this way. >> Fair enough. Fair enough. Yes. Yes. It may be required. >> It's all about us. I mean all these statements are related to the child actually. But actually it's all about us. >> Yes. >> What I feel is there is no right or wrong. It's only our uh view on everything actually.

88:16 >> Sure. Sure. So there's no right or wrong. It's only our view. Uh and we have different views. So what does all of that mean? I'm still there. So what does all of this >> replace? Submoaya. >> Yeah. The fact that there is submaya or whatever everything is illusion or everything is different for different people. What does that mean to us in practical sense in a day-to-day sense? What does that mean? >> Children with suppose qualities children. We're not talking about children. We talking about us. We are saying we all have different perspective. Right?

88:53 Uh we are saying that I have I have something which I hold is true while somebody else Baba is holding different. And you know is holding different and lanya is holding different. So we all have different windows. >> We need to find our own true or our own path. What is true for us >> that you have already found. No, you already have your yes true or false. So your own true and false >> out of this list. But otherwise in general we need to find where owner is.

89:27 >> Okay. So that can be one way of looking at it that this means I need to find my own true and false. But what else does it mean? >> Acceptance. >> Okay, it could lead to acceptance that okay uh you know we have two DL here. One D may have one view and another DL may have a different view. Just because they have similar name doesn't mean that they will have similar views. Okay. So I can accept spouses can accept >> question we can question the view that we have like when you know that there are other people who think in some other way let's say if I if I stick to some number >> like because I think it's true and when somebody says something like this uh maybe in day-to-day life because you're asking that maybe one can say that okay maybe I can look at it that from that perspective and give it like can just and see if it still true stays true or false the previous slides when we were seeing like a child with a disease you would like not like you know him to have it on the boot. So like previously when you are just looking at a small fraction which still could be true or false and then when it changes or when you know uh then you maybe that true or false will also change. Uh >> I think it means we we all are different and unique maybe.

90:49 >> Yeah. Yeah, we all are unique. We all are different. Arpan is saying you follow what works for you. On the way you realize other works better then you switch. So that's one way Arpan that we wait for on the way if you realize that the others work better. And the other way to look at it is yeah there are so many windows there's so many ways to look at something and if I collect so many perspectives then I'm yes as Shakila is saying then I am open to possibilities that means I have to start by saying mind myself what I think could be true could be false I'm neither here nor there I'm having many windows. Would you like to have more windows?

91:40 That's the question. If we are talking about possibilities, the possibilities are right here. Any statement you make and there are possibilities. Would we like to explore them? >> Yes. >> Let's let's have a small experience of this. I think then it'll make sense. Like let me just pull in D this light. Yeah. Let's let's do a small small little situation. Okay, let's say with the kid um let's say five year old, right? Uh and uh the the childh or whatever age you want, four year, three year, whatever, whatever age you want, doesn't matter the age. Um the child says I want to climb this slide. Okay. I say yeah okay go ahead. Let's say that the slide has 10 rungs and the child climbs it starts climbing and you're standing there next to the ladder and the child reaches the seventh rung and the child says I can't.

92:40 Right? The child has reached the seventh and the child says I can't. Now what I want you to do is first type in chat window. So no coming on mic right away. Just type in chat window what would be your response. The child said I want to do this slide. You said okay. The child went up till the seventh rung. The child at seventh rung says I can't. What would be your response? You're standing next to the ladder on the ground.

93:11 Please type in the chat. Whatever would be your response Yes.

93:56 Okay, more people, more responses. And I hope you're also reading different people's responses. We just realized they're different windows, right?

94:29 Okay, let me see whom I want to call Okay, let let me call somebody who wants to come on the mic. Okay, let's say Yashri. Uh I hope I'm pronouncing your name right. Uh can you come on the video please? Would you like to?

95:16 >> Yes. One second. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Uh you say motivate the child to go ahead. Okay. Yeah. Um >> so it's okay. I can ask you a few questions. >> Yes. Yes, you can. >> Yeah. Okay. So why do you want to motivate the child? Maybe just give one more try to see if he can. >> Why do you want to motivate the child?

95:47 >> So that he reaches that goal. >> And why do you want him to reach that goal? >> Just to see how things look from the up or if there is a slide he can come down from there and enjoy. >> Yeah. Yeah. That anyway that's what he wanted to do. But I'm asking not about that. But I'm asking why do you want him to reach the top? >> Why do I want him to? >> Yeah, you are not the one climbing. So why do you want him to reach the top?

96:20 >> Just so that he will understand that when he reaches the top or when he sees the view how things >> and why do you want him to understand whatever you said after the word understand? >> Because I want him to experience that. Yeah. And why do you want him to experience that and not this? >> He's experiencing something >> both ways. If he's ready, he's okay to climb or if he wants to come down, he can come down. Absolutely.

96:47 >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Yeah. I know that. That's why I picked your but you said I want to motivate him. But I'm asking you why. Okay. Let me ask you a different question. Uh >> do you think that the child is capable? >> Yes, that's the reason he was able to climb the first seven slides as in the first seven steps. >> No, no. Do you think the child is is capable of climbing let's say all the 10 steps?

97:17 >> Uh yes, I think so. Not at the first try maybe, but yes, he's capable. >> No, I'm saying you don't think so. I'm challenging your thinking. All I'm saying is I think you don't think so because if you were if you were if you would think that the child is capable then why would you motivate? Do you motivate somebody whom you think >> that's the reason or >> Yeah. Exactly. Then you think that he's not capable of overcoming a scare and climb the 10.

97:51 Pause. Pause. P pause this. Think with me. If if somebody's already capable, if you think somebody's already capable, you don't motivate that person. You don't motivate your husband to pack his tiffen box or whatever or somebody to pack a tiff box who you know can pack a tiffen box. Let's say I'm just giving a very funny example. >> Right. Right. >> Do we really really in that sense believe that the child is capable?

98:22 >> Maybe we make them capable. The child is not. >> Yeah, that's answer my question. Do you think that you really believe that the child is capable? >> No. >> On with you. That's okay. I hope you don't mind that. But I'm just trying to show how we think we think something but we don't necessarily think that >> possibly having some other belief. Maybe we are thinking I don't know what you are thinking. Maybe your belief is that motivation is necessary or reaching there is necessary or >> I have to help him in his scare or whatever I don't know what are your beliefs.

99:09 >> Okay. And but somewhere those beliefs are playing up and that is why the first thought that you that came to your mind was let me motivate him. Right? >> In a way, what I'm trying to say is what is inside our well >> comes up in our bucket. >> Right? >> Does that make sense? Whatever is inside our well, the well is the well of beliefs. What do we believe in?

99:40 >> What do we hold as important or hold as true or false from the list that mean just the list we played around, >> right? Whatever we hold in our well, that's the one that comes up in the bucket. >> Which means on the converse or on the reverse way, if I inspect my bucket, it will tell me what is there in the well, >> right? >> So if we go ahead and look at our chat message, we need not look at others chat messages. Now I'm not just talking to you. I'm just saying if you look at what are we saying or what are we doing >> whatever we are doing whatever response we are giving that will tell us what belief we are holding or maybe not one belief a set of beliefs we are holding again I'm not trying to say that a belief is wrong or right nor I'm trying to say that our response is wrong or right beliefs are not wrong or right we just did that exercise everybody had a different belief so many different beliefs so how does it matter there's no wrong and right Somebody has this belief, somebody has that belief. Okay?

100:48 But what I'm trying to show is how important that belief is and for us to even know what my belief is. And it's very easy for me to know what my belief is because I just need to inspect my my behavior. The moment I see what I am doing, the doing will tell me what is my belief or beliefs. Again not to say that they are right or wrong but for me to start thinking ah these are my beliefs do I want to continue with them do I want to play around with them do I want to add few more to them do I want to change them or do I don't want I don't want to do anything with them right so what we are saying is what's in The well comes up in the bucket.

101:50 Which means we need to not worry about our buckets. We need to start looking at our well, the well inside us. Let let me tell you a funny story if that makes sense out of it. So there's this you know grandfather who was sleeping in the veranda and the children got little prankish. So they go went and you know put a little cowong on his mustache. So when this grandfather woke up he said sniff sniff sniff and said this place smells horrible terrible. So you know he goes inside the house and rushes to the kitchen and he says uh daughter-in-law daughter-in-law he says yeah what happened your kitchen smells horrible. Then he rushes to his you know son's bedroom and he again sniffs there and he says son your room also smells horrible and then he's like very frustrated so he runs out of the wind you know house again and then he declares that the world smells horrible you see this this man was right there >> I feel I feel I don't know about others but for myself I can say that I feel this is my ego that I want my son to reach there and he should see what is there or like >> okay Akancha so okay let's let's let's let's break this down forget this ego we go I don't know what is ego so I can't really discuss that matter. Okay. Uh but you said that you want him to reach there. Okay. Ask yourself why do I want him to reach there?

103:46 You don't have to answer me right now. You can but I'm just saying if we ask ourselves why do I want him to reach there? I will get some answer. Then let's say give me an answer. Let's see whatever comes to top of mind that need not be a real answer. Doesn't matter. Just say something. Why do you want him to reach there? >> I can't afford failure. >> Okay. You can't afford failure. Why you can't afford failure?

104:12 >> Because other will label him as a failure. Few kids are reaching >> and and and what is the problem with others labeling him failure? >> Again like others will say that I'm not a good parent that I can't teach him. >> Okay. So what if others say you are not a good parent? How does that matter? >> I don't know. >> So I'm I'm just I'm just so this whole process I know it can be a little frustrating but this whole process is only help hopefully leading you to inspect your own. Well again it could uncover a certain set of beliefs. Not that the beliefs are wrong, not that you need to change them but at least you know them.

105:03 And once you know them here, >> I want to add something. Ju just one moment. And just Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just one moment. And once you know them, then you can see what you want to do with them. Mhm. Once you know them, then you can see what you want to do them. But first we need to know our well. No. Then we can see if we want to do something with them. Maybe we don't need to do something with them. Maybe we can have that also. And let's say ask others also ask soil hey soila what are your views in such a situation or ask sharia what are your views so then I get three windows you know my windows sharia's windows soil's windows and then I get three perspectives and then now my well is into churning yeah okay I can do this way also I can think this way also I can believe this way also that's called playing around and whom am I playing around with my own Well and voila then I can respond in one way in one situation and another way in I might I may even brand it soil's way and way and a kanchcha's way. How does that matter? You can brand them whatever you know I'm using soil's belief or I'm using you know nanda's belief. How does that matter?

106:24 Are you getting me? The idea is not about right or wrong. No, no, no, no, no. I am not here to tell what is right, what is wrong. Okay, you all wrote your responses. Wonderful, perfect. But Dh's responses are are a beautiful way to understand our wells. And when we know what are our beliefs, we can do something if we want to do something about them. Yeah. You know and you will say but why do we need to do something about do I need to some do something about all of my belie no no no no no not at all not at all have you have you seen that uh have you seen an insect which will try which has got trapped in your room and wants to go out of the window and will go to the glass and will keep tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck on the glass and you will open the door behind but no this guy will not go through out the door it will keep on banging on the window glass because it thinks that's the way for freedom and soon it will fall and die.

107:30 Just what if he knew that there is another window which is open and I can fly through that but I refuse to look at another window and if I keep on banging on the same window, same window, same window, then what am I doing? So it's important not the banging part is good but which window I am banging I need to go back and see my windows I want to explore my windows if you want to so you can you can see in which situation in one situation you are troubled let's say now just see what are my belief believes what is causing all my troubles and then work backwards and then see if you want to open up more windows and enjoy a different view.

108:33 Yeah. Your thoughts Okay, we have couple of kind of questions in the chat. Okay. Um I think Vibbouti is saying Vibhi your chat name is is Rishab's name. Everybody will think you are Rishab.

109:10 >> Okay. Uh it's she's saying child is capable and child says I can't does that mean our belief about the child is wrong. Well u no no no no no no it's not question of the child saying I can't has got nothing to do with your belief your belief is about you and you believe that the child is capable if you believe that the child is capable then the child can keep on saying whatever the child is keep on saying let he still capable he may not use his full capability today but he's capable if I think you are capable of something let's say vibi I think you are capable of treating me to a nice chocolate cake, right? Then that's it. Then I will just expect you to bake that chocolate cake for me. No, which I hope you would and Korea to me.

109:59 So the point is that if I think you are capable, if I really believe you are capable of making a an awesome chocolate cake, you say I can't do this, I will not be bothered because I know you are capable. At least I believe you are incapable. I don't know no as a fact. I more believe that you are capable. So then my response will be different. Again the idea is not that one response is right or wrong. The idea is that sometimes we may think aha I believe my child is capable. But actually deep down that is not the belief that is really playing. Some other beliefs are more stronger and they are the ones which are driving our behaviors or our responses. Again, the responses are not important. The be the beliefs are.

110:59 So the invitation is just to inspect. Right? Now let's not worry about changing anything or doing anything with your belief. I'm just saying if we want more windows, all we need to do is first realize which window we have and then add more windows. And it's very easy to add more windows. It doesn't take anything. Yeah. One way to add more windows is just say opposite of what you said. Does that make sense? >> Yeah.

111:36 Okay, somebody's saying I don't like when people say bad about my kid. I just can't take it. So, what's your belief? Sorry, I still don't know your name. If you can come on mic, I would know your name also. Then Priyanka is saying, "What if I'm feeling bad for my child that he really wanted to climb but not able to do that?" Okay. So, you are motivating because you are feeling bad for your child. Mhm. So, what's your belief? Why are you feeling bad?

112:07 >> Because in that moment he's feeling helpless and >> Okay. So what's your belief about being helpless? Is it is that something bad >> at some extent? That's why >> so let's say you have one window which says feeling helpless is bad. Now can you open can you can you construct another window just the opposite say feeling helpless is good. Now you will say Ratish but I don't even believe in that window. I say aha but still make one window.

112:37 Now see out of that window it's like the fence you know the grass is greener on the fence. Make another window. Feeling helpless is good. Feeling unhappy is good. Okay. Now now see out of that window what happens. And then you try it out. And then you see is the grass really greener on the other side. If it was greener you go that side. If this was only greener you stay this side. If both are green, you try this sometimes and that sometimes. See, you have increased your choices to two. Now you open a third window and a fourth window.

113:10 >> Okay? >> Right? So we can keep on increasing the window name. That's what Jagrati is all about. We just going to increase your windows or rather each one of us is going to increase our windows, our ways of looking at something because then we are increasing the possibilities both for ourselves and for our children. Now you want more possibilities or you want less possibilities. I know the answer to that question.

113:46 Gimma is saying okay this topic is very confusing to me. Exactly. It's confusing to me too. Gara. So Gimma is saying this topic is very confusing for me right Gimma you there can you come on mic >> yes I I can come on the mic >> right is confusion what's your belief about confusion >> so yeah >> is confusion something good or is confusion something bad >> confusion is very good because it makes me curious to understand the different perspective >> so you're happy that you've got a confusion Now >> yeah I similar thing happened with me when I was child wait we're not getting into your situation I'm still with your statement your statement is this topic is very confusing for me >> okay now I don't know what you are feeling okay but is this confusion good or bad what's your >> yeah it's good but This time it's not good for me. It's making me uncomfortable from inside.

114:58 >> Okay. Okay. So, is the uncomfortable inside is good for you or bad? >> I don't know. >> So, see again uh if you say you said confusion is good. If confusion good, you should be happy. You should be saying Ratnesh, thank you for confusing me because that's my job. I'm here to confuse you. If I tell you the answer, then what is it? If I'm confusing you, then you're going to think, think, think think or whatever. Keep going around in circle and maybe discover something new, interesting inside you and maybe you'll share with us and we'll all learn from you.

115:36 >> Okay, >> it's interesting. >> You're right. >> Yeah. >> So again, a matter of perspective. Do you look at confusion as good or bad? Right. Now, we're not talking about the child I can't. Now we're talking about Gima's I can't. I can't handle this confusion. We moved the ladder. We moved the ladder to Gar's ladder which was about I can't go on this ladder anymore of this belief whatever this guy is saying. I don't know what he's saying.

116:06 Interesting. It's how we see it. >> Again, I'm not I'm not trying to say that we're trying to fix things. We not yet there. We're just trying to realize that hey, we've got beliefs. And these beliefs are what are really driving us. And it's it can be very interesting. It can be very fruitful. It can be very opening up if we start exploring our beliefs about anything. Whatever you choose to about confusion, about motivating.

116:48 Yeah. So many people said I will motivate the child. Maybe maybe it's a good idea, maybe it's not a good idea. Maybe motivation is good, maybe motivation is not good. Maybe motivation is required, maybe it's not required. The moment I put this little maybe, it's like that true and false g you know uh list that we put up. Maybe it is true, maybe it is false. Ah there I open more windows immediately. One word to open windows.

117:20 One word to empty your cup a little. Maybe I don't need this tea. Maybe I can empty this cup so I can get another belief. Maybe I can borrow from Nanda or Dhal. I can borrow from aa. But for that I have to empty my cup. Now I have to say okay let me chuck this tea and try another tea. and then maybe that will help you.

117:55 So let me tell you a story. Yeah. So every session I try to end with a little story. Uh so there was this there was this lady who was who was sleeping and in her sleep she saw a dream and in the dream she saw herself. You know a lot of us see ourselves in our dream right? So she saw herself. Now this beam herself uh was in her room in the night and in that room suddenly when she turned around she saw a monster and she got really scared. This is the dream one dream version who is getting scared.

118:33 So she starts you know running and she opens one door and runs out of that room and then she goes to the other room and all the other rooms are blank. There's nobody there. Her spouse, her children, nobody's there. She's now really terrified. So, she opens the main door and runs outside the house. And then she sees that the monster is still following her. Now, she's really scared. Now, she starts running on the street, but still the monster is chasing her. And like it happens in the dream, there's nobody on the streets. It's just blank streets.

119:06 She's running, running, running. And she's keep looking back and the monster is keeps chasing, chasing, chasing. And then she runs out of the town. And then she goes up the hill and the monster is going behind her. And then she goes into the cave. And then she reaches a dead end. And then she turns around and lo and behold, the monster is there. And now she is like terribly shivering. And then she asks the monster, "What are you going to do with me?"

119:36 And you know what the monster says? "I don't know. It's your dream. Thank you. Good night. Sweet dreams. We'll explore more. We just started Jagrati. Thank you.