New Parenting Tools to Make Parenting Less Stressful

0:01 [Music] so the tools are special time which is saying to a child I've got 10 minutes so they'll do whatever you want to do what do you want to do and bring it your love and attention to proactively to them and letting them show you what they're interested in letting them show you what they like letting them set things up so that they can have fun

0:33 the way they like to have fun which sometimes means that you're not having so much fun if your children know how we need to children know where we need to push ourselves and where we won't push ourselves and oftentimes special time turns into I'm going to push you where you won't push yourself so if you're not fond of physical activity and you you know your child may decide that you know

1:04 what has to happen during special time is that you've got to go out in the sidewalk I've raced each other to the next telephone pole and back and they will keep you at it for 15 minutes and they'll keep you at it you'll be so glad you that special time this time there's a timer and the timer will go off so that special time there's playlist name which is giving children the upper hand in play and

1:28 so and you can do this with more than one child special time is like one-on-one that's a child feel like you're that you allow them to be this special one for this amount of time play listening so right now because my as over here the only example I can think of is when when we did but you know when they were young so my boys used to love to play with round they wound up calling vultures so they

1:55 would stand on the back of the sofa and I would walk by do you do such a nice day Oh the clouds are nowhere to be seen Sun is out and they would jump on my back what is this No something really weird on my back and I try to shake them off and shake them off and they laughing laughing laughing it worked really hard to shake them off you know and they one of them would

2:17 finally fall oh thank heavens I don't know what that was but it's gone and I'd walk by the couch again and jump up my god this is play listening it's like you let your child be the one that's the Swift the brave the smart in the know yeah you're the one that cannot figure things out and is getting getting thought over and over again and this is this Bill's children's confidence and helps them feel really close to you

2:43 really I don't know it just evens out the sort of the the power set up between parents and children for them to have the upper hand and for you to be happy to let them play that way so you get pushed off the bed again and again and you're always going I you know I can get you off the bed this time I know I can I'm going to use my special tricks you know and they of course give

3:07 them five minutes and they push it we shouldn't push you and you fall off on the carpet again so this really builds children's courage lets them overcome fears that get in their way of living a full and confident life and they're setting limits which is very very important we encourage parents to set minutes early and often so the first little whiff off-track behavior is the time to settle in it because at that point you're not upset yet and your child

3:39 isn't dug in they haven't signaled in you twenty five times with really weird off-track here that they're having a hard time children when children go off track they do need attention so they don't think oh she's just trying to get attention it's true she is been trying to get attention because she can't think without someone's attention there for her and if she can't get it by throwing her much bucks on the floor and kind of marching off into her room without

4:05 saying anything to anybody after school that doesn't work then she'll come out and hate the snack never made and if that doesn't work she'll say that she's not going to do her homework tonight and if that doesn't work and you make her sit down to do her homework she'll tear her paper you know one thing after the other after the other and pretty soon she's popping her little brother on the head because she's off track needs connection

4:29 she's trying to signal again and again and again that connection is is necessary in order to her to think by that time you know you're upset she's upset nobody's thinking and these are the these are the incidents that make parenting really hard so you want to get in and set limits early and often and then listen stay listen to the affiliates that children have about the limits [Music]

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