Transcript
0:00 hey everyone is just Lin this week with Jim in the background but we are going to be talking about this common challenge you've probably all been experiencing when your kids interrupt your conference calls so that's a we hear more and more about kids doing crazy things while their parents are on a conference call and it can be exasperated of walk through our simple framework of how to how to respond when kids are a challenge oh the first thing
0:32 is to just recognize you know how do I view this am I responsible for having a perfect child and I you know what kids worldview revolves around themselves until they're about age 3 or 4 Jimmy Jimmy I'm so sorry I'm so sorry Jimmy
1:12 you need to just calm down this is with my boss would you just calm down I'm so sorry ok and here's my husband who shaved jazzoo for this picture you did so great we see it happen so to say to them I do and there's our housemate Ellie in the background who's volunteered for this
1:44 task so sometimes it's probably just gonna go that way and those are great opportunities for you to receive God's mercy for you and for your kids and know it's just gonna be okay and you're gonna get through this and it doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to apologize 15 times you can just go oh sorry for the delay and move on but how might you help your child to have the best shot at not doing that during a
2:10 conference call so we're going to talk a few about a few principles here I think will be really practical for you and if the first is to just connect and think what does it like to be my child in that situation having an unavailable parent is stressful and the research shows that the brain releases oxytocin during stress especially social isolation and that has a really important purpose in our self-protection system because it's when we're stressed when we're under threat we should go get
2:40 help and that's what's happening in your child's brain if they feel anxious and if you particularly give them an anxious start to your conference call they're gonna drop probably be right back in your face so doing your best to prep them ahead of time just before your call with a little delighted eye contact affection fill their cups so that they're not anxious when you start the call but we're also going to redo that skit now and you'll
3:05 see my goal now this time is to decrease my kids anxiety not increase it and that's my best shot and enabling them to kind of be peaceful and head off to be independent again so we're going to take two and here we go oh this is hard isn't
3:40 it but you know you've been doing a good job so far I want you to pick four markers and you can go to the table or you can decide to stay with Ellie which would you like to do I'm gonna she's
4:11 mean I'm gonna go away from her okay Ellie I want you to UM give him four markers and then you can keep four and he's gonna go to the dining room table another important principle is to coach your kids out side of the time that you're in the conference call to build skills ahead of time it's not just don't interrupt me but what do you want your kids to do instead and how are you gonna teach it
4:38 if you expect a behavior but haven't helped your kids both value it and practice it it's a setup for frustration and I'm gonna say that again because it's really important if you expect a behavior but haven't helped your kids both value it and practice it it's a setup for frustration so teach peaceful waiting we've got a blog post for you in our in the in the written section and teach conflict resolution we are offering our sibling online course for
5:08 any donation because we want to help parents in this difficult time one mom who's taking the course beforehand she would run in as the cop and the judge and get in the middle of it and hand out consequences and make everybody matter and just the other day she wrote me and said but that kids were starting to ramp up and I came over to see what was going on and my seven-year-old daughter said wait mom I
5:30 don't I got this I got this mom we can solve this but sometimes it just is gonna go crazy no matter what you do we've got a fun video clip of that happening on a BBC interview for you if you didn't catch that viral video a few years ago but when it does when it all falls apart make your goal be to decrease your kids your child's anxiety not increase it with your stress and anxiety that you're downloading on to
5:58 them so smile affirm something like wow you guys made it quite a while and then just offer a couple of choices and hope for the best then you can practice later how they might have responded instead we'd love to pray for you and tell us how we can help you and I'm just gonna pray for you briefly right now father thank you for these parents that are juggling so many balls and still trying to love their kids in the middle of it I
6:25 just pray that you would comfort them with a sense of your come along side Holy Spirit with wisdom and mercy for them in these difficult times in Jesus name Amen
Summary
- Recognize that children’s worldview is self-centered until around age 3-4, which can lead to interruptions.
- Prepare children before calls with affection and attention to reduce their anxiety.
- Teach children alternative behaviors for when they feel anxious or need attention.
- Emphasize the importance of coaching children outside of stressful situations to build skills.
- Encourage peaceful waiting and conflict resolution as proactive strategies.
- Acknowledge that interruptions may still happen; focus on decreasing children's anxiety rather than increasing it with your own stress.
- Offer choices to children during interruptions to help them feel empowered.
- Provide resources, such as online courses, to support parents in managing sibling conflicts and other challenges.