Adam Carolla Says Children’s Books Are The DJ Khaled Of Literature | Pop Wisdom | Dad Saves America

0:00 - He's a comedian, podcast host and author of six books. In his most recent book, "Everything Reminds Me of Something", he answers real questions from his fans and famous friends with his unapologetic sense of humor. - I sat in a sweatbox in North Hollywood that was 875 square feet, with no air conditioning, and I was like, "I gotta get outta here." And I realized my kids don't want freedom. They like it in the house. It's insane.

0:30 It's bizarre. It's unthinkable. - And most importantly, he's a father of twins. Adam Carolla, welcome to Pop Wisdom. (lively background music) What do you want to have written on your gravestone? - "You assholes are on your own. I've done all I could do. You wouldn't listen. So here you are." - That full statement? - Yes. - "You holes are on your own." Yeah, I think that'd be it. - I like the complete one. - Yeah, yeah, I'll keep going.

1:01 Well, then it'll be on the backside. They'll have to flip it over. - What's your favorite household chore, and why? - I'm a kinda garage wrench-turner kinda builder guy, but if it falls under the heading of chore, I hate anything to do with the dishwasher, because it's an utter waste of time, which is insane to me, but I've never met a woman who wasn't in love with dishwashers. I've never won that argument. I'm in the sink and I'm washing the dish, and then any woman I've ever known is like, "It's gotta go in the dishwasher."

1:34 And I'm like, "Or we could just put it on a rack and then I could just use it again." They're like, "It's disgusting." And I go, "What's disgusting about it? It's just a plate. We'll clean it, it'll air dry." Women are able to manufacture phantom smells, and then get their friends to sign off on it. They'll go like, "Shelley, you know when something is, you just got that smell, right?" "Oh, totally. It's disgusting." And I'll go, "What?

1:58 It's a ceramic plate. It's been rinsed with hot water. It air dries. It doesn't have a smell." "You know, it smells musty." "No, it doesn't smell musty. It's just a plate." But somehow it's gotta cycle through that dishwasher. - [John] What's your favorite dish to cook? Do you cook anything? - You know, I think people make too much about cooking. Like they go, "He's a good cook." "He's not a cook. "You can't cook." I can cook whatever.

2:23 It's just it's boring for the most part. It's super time consuming. - Do you have one that you actually like to do? You're Italian. No pastas? Nothing? Pizza? - When the kids were young, I liked making 'em pancakes, the kinda finesse of the pancake, and flipping it, doing it at just the right time so it didn't get drooly or sloppy or whatever. Yeah, I'd say Sunday morning, pancakes for the kids. - [John] What does masculinity mean to you?

2:48 Or what is masculinity? - I think it's about protection. You know, being able to protect people around you. I think it's about having a certain calmness, of like a presence. I think being able to handle things, like being able to do things, you know, being able to fix things. I mean, it's pretty traditional for me, but I would say kind of a steady hand. "I'll fix this," "I'll settle this," "I'll take care of this," that feels masculine to me.

3:19 - [John] What is the number one lesson you learned from your dad? - I sort of did the opposite of what he did. So I was like, I wanna have a proactive kinda life. So I kinda learned from him that a sedentary life was not very rewarding, so I was gonna go out and do things, and take on challenges, and try to push myself, or scare myself a little bit. And so I got a lot from growing up with my dad, by just kinda going, "What would Jim Carolla do?"

3:47 And then I'd go, "I'll just do the opposite of that." And it's served me pretty well. I mean, my dad's a nice guy, and he's a thoughtful guy, and he's sound emotionally, and so I got some of that thoughtfulness. But it's like scared straight. You know, bring the kid to the prison. "Do you want to end up here?" "No." "Alright, well, lesson learned." - What's your favorite dad expression, and who did you pick it up from?

4:12 - I got a good dad expression from my manager at McDonald's. What was his name, Ken, would yell, "Time to lean, time to clean." And that meant I had to go clean the dining area. So, "Time to lean, time to clean," is what I got, not from my dad, but from Ken. - Like lean into it, like really do a good job? - He didn't really express it correctly. It is, "If you have time to lean, you should be cleaning."

4:39 So if you're hanging out, leaning against something, grab a mop and get out there. - I did a lot of waiting tables in my youth, and I feel like I might have heard that one. That's a good one. - Well, maybe Ken moved to the Philadelphia area. (laughing) - [John] This is a good one. What's the most dangerous thing you ever did as a child? - I liked to jump off of buildings into bodies of water.

5:03 And there was a two-story apartment next to my friend's apartment, and it had a little parapet at the top, and we climbed up the side ladder and stuff. And you'd have to clear X amount of concrete, 'cause the pool was not in the same apartment building. You had to jump, you know what I mean? That definitely could've ended in disaster. - Do not do this at home. - I was totally enamored with jumping off of a roof, off of roofs into pools.

5:31 - There was a roof next to my house, growing up outside of Philly, that I would climb up and jump off, just onto the grass. But it was only one story high. It was probably eight feet high. It was a garage roof. - Yeah. A thrill. - The best. - The best. - [John] What's the most dangerous thing you've ever let any of your kids do? - Go to sleep without a CPAP. Eat sushi at a restaurant with a B grade on the window.

5:55 I don't know. Nothing. - Nothing. - I dunno. They don't do anything dangerous. - Eat at that restaurant in 2020? - Yeah. Go to Tinhorn Flats with their dad and defy the man. They don't do dangerous things. - We're part of the problem, Adam. - I know. I know. - How have you most damaged your kids, either physically or mentally? Not letting them do dangerous things has already been covered. - Not creating any gravity for them, probably, and letting 'em kinda float through life.

6:23 Not forcing them to earn things, you know, and saying things like, "Eating out's a treat, and we only do it once a month," and, "You can only have X amount of television time before I cut it off." Like general boundaries not being set. - [John] Do you have a favorite dad joke or shtick? - Yeah, I do this stupid joke with my son that doesn't even make sense, but I could explain it. When I used to clean carpet, I had a boss, and his name was Art Foss.

6:54 And he would kinda explain, he was trying to, fancied himself kind of a bad, you know, and he would like, "Hey, I'm the kinda guy, come up to you... If you wanna pick a fight with me, I'll go, 'Hey, I'm not looking for any trouble. I just wanna introduce myself. My name is Art Foss!'" and he'd do this move. And it would always crack us up. And so whenever my son is hanging around with his friends, I come walking into the room and I go, "Hey, lemme tell you the kinda guy I am."

7:19 And my son would just be like, "Don't do it. Don't. Dad, don't do it." I go, "Eh, I just wanna introduce myself." And then I yell, "My name is Art Foss!" and I throw a crazy punch, and my son's embarrassed. But I don't even know what it means. - (chuckling) And the Art Foss part, it's especially weird for his friends. - [Adam] Yeah. But they'll never forget it. - [John] And you're doing it for their discomfort.

7:41 - Yeah. - [John] What's your favorite children's book? - I don't like children's books in general. So here's my problem with children's books. But first, I have a theory, which is people who write children's books can't write books for adults. - Not even Shel Silverstein? There's some exceptions, right? - They're very celebrated, but it's like you open on one page, "Timmy hopped. He hopped on pop. He hopped on pop a lot." You turn the page. "And then his sister Susie hopped on pop.

8:13 And now everyone hopped on pop." And I was like, "You don't think you could write that in 15 minutes?" Children's books are sort of like DJ Khaled. He points at the ceiling, he yells, "Another one!" And he doesn't do anything. If I offered a challenge, if you said to Grisham, or anyone who writes novels, "You have to write a children's book," they'd go, "I'll that out in 10 minutes." - (chuckling) That's the best. - And "Where The Wild Things Are" is the worst message ever.

8:42 The kid terrorizes the cat with a fork, so he gets sent to his room, and then he goes on some sort of peyote trip and ends up on an island, where he becomes the king of all the monsters, and then he sails away. And when he comes home, there's a big piece of birthday cake waiting for him. What kind of message is this? Try to kill the cat with a fork, you're gonna end up with chocolate cake?

9:04 - And the kingdom of your own virtual domain. - And it doesn't even make sense, because as he's sailing away, the wild things are like, "Come back or we'll eat you." And it's like what kind of enticement to return to this island is, "Or we'll eat you." It doesn't even track. It doesn't even make sense. - Adam, that is all. Thanks for being on Pop Wisdom. - Yeah, it was fun. My pleasure. - If you enjoyed this video, we've got more where that came from.

9:32 Be sure to check out my full conversation with Adam Carolla. And one of the best ways you can help support us is to subscribe to the channel so you won't miss our interviews and short videos as they come out each week. (lively background music)