Let’s Rethink Confidence

0:00 Walk with me to the subway and let's talk about why most of us think about building confidence in our kids in an ineffective counterproductive way. Okay. Confidence isn't feeling good about yourself. I know that's what we've been told, but I think it's wrong. I think about confidence as self-rust. Here's the difference. Your kid comes home and says, "I'm the only one in my class who can't read." If you think your job is to build confidence by helping your kid feel good, you want to lift them out of that distress. That can't be true. or but you're really good at math. But if you think about confidence as selfrust, you'd say something very different.

0:35 You'd say, "First of all, I'm so glad you're talking to me about this. Sounds like a hard moment in class today. Tell me more." See, when our kids get older, we don't want them to think that confidence is being the best at something all the time. That's not realistic. And we know confidence is actually feeling like it's okay to be you when you're not the best at something. That's how you can keep growing and learning. Now, that's a big difference when it comes to confidence. And I'm sure you have questions. I'm jumping on the subway.