Elizabeth Montero-Cefalo - Meet your Loving Guidance Associate

0:06 My name is Elizabeth Montero- Cefalo and I am a parent coach. I've been practicing Conscious Discipline ever since I heard about it, probably 15 or so years ago. My biggest interest in Conscious Discipline and the population that I tend to attract to, is with the early childhood education, also with the special needs population, and with infant/ toddler. A life-changing moment for me, and of course it was the most challenging child I had ever worked with and that's the child you'll remember most, it was a child who I had tried an I Love You ritual on, he wasn't enjoying it, he wasn't having a good time, he wasn't giving me eye contact, it was a very awkward moment with him, I was kind of into it, but I was kind of going through some of the motions, and what ended up happening was I tried it again because I thought, well maybe he needs consistency.

0:58 Tried it again the third day, tried again on the fourth day. On the fourth day I was ready to get on the phone and call Becky Bailey and say I found the one child that the I Love You rituals don't work with. At that moment I realized it's not about him, it's about me and my perception of him. Once I was able to break down the walls, realize that he was calling for help and I was there to answer it, he was looking to me to answer that. It was amazing because the fourth day when I went and I tried the I Love You ritual and I was playful, and I enjoyed it. It was amazing the reception that I got from him.

1:35 He gave me eye contact, he was smiling, he was enjoying it. Not too long after that, he would bring me the props so that we could do the I Love You rituals together. So I knew it hit home, he understood what was going on, and little by little I did realize that he was basically put before me so that I could strengthen everything that I know about Conscious Discipline, and in my journey I needed to meet him, and work with him, and learn from him all these great skills and all these great powers that were just strengthened with just knowing him. I am thankful and I embrace the conflict and the difficulties and everything that I had with him because it was amazing the connection that was restored and was created from his existence in my classroom.

2:22 Just by changing my perception of what was occurring, or my perception of a child, for instance, it was amazing how much their behavior changed, and the most satisfying, most rewarding thing for me is watching a teacher that I have worked with over time, or an administrator, or a parent, and I've seen them actually shift and make that tremendously difficult shift into a more positive parent or a positive adult. Basically what Conscious Discipline has done for me is that it has created strength in me that I didn't know even existed, and I have great passion in working with teachers and with children, and what is most satisfying for me is to offer this to others.

3:15 It's a gift that I can't just keep, it's a gift that I can offer to so many others, and I want them to watch it unravel. I want them to start their journey. I want them to just feel what I have felt and create that passion in others so that they can enjoy what I have enjoyed myself. I always took great pride in saying, well here's Conscious Discipline and I'm implementing it in a classroom with children who have limited language, and it's working for them, or I'm implementing this with children who have probably functioning at nine month old level in the body of a 4-year-old and it was amazing how I could teach these children composure.

3:57 Not just composure at that moment but composure during conflict times, composure when things weren't going their way. It was amazing how I was able to teach these children positive intent and how I created a school family in a classroom with special needs, always says so much about it because I can always say if I was able to do it with this population, we can do this with everyone.