5 Essential Mindset Shifts Every Woman Needs for Body Confidence

0:00 You're managing some of the finest and fittest looking people. He said hard. She's also someone who doesn't love chocolate, hasn't tasted tea and coffee. Was this because of the struggle with weight while you were growing up? I never realized I was overweight. I was just a happy kid cousin of mine who was staying over and she just told me, "Why don't you stand on the scale and just see how much you weigh?" I checked. I was 18 kilos. My journey towards fitness was not the right way. How old were you?

0:26 17. And then for the next 7 8 years it was really yo-yo because that's really not the way to lose weight. Starvation is not the way of excessive workout is not the way. I did all of that. The definition that you carved for yourself was skinny is beautiful. Yeah. Kid was born. I think 2 3 hours later I sent a work message to somebody and they said Radika what's wrong with you? Why do I need to choose like why does everyone say kids or business but why I can choose both? Even I thought that oh will it hamper my productivity? Will I not be 100% for my work because now I'm divided and I have to have look after my kids as well as this. My daughter's first not mama or didi. Sometimes people just say things without even realizing like you know that's fine. I'm a mother and nobody needs to say that to me.

1:18 Welcome to season 4 of the Kids Stop Press podcast. And today we have with us someone who is just as you requested, a woman who is striving and thriving every single day running her own business with her two kids. And just like you guys mentioned on our Instagram post that you want to see someone as real as you, let me tell you, we're all making it wing for us every single day. And she's someone who manages a whole lot of stars without star tantrums of her own. And I've known her for a very, very long time. We work together. But this is the first time that I think two founders and moms are coming on a podcast together to talk about business babies and which one would actually be easier to do. Run a business or push out another baby. We're going to talk about that. But before we get talking, let me just quickly share a little bit about her achievements. with close to two decades of expansive PR experience across fields. My guest for today is Radhika Nilani and her work includes image management, corporate communications, publicity, strategy for you name it. And that stars on her roster. So I'm going to name Okay. Not few of my favorites.

2:41 Okay. Not few of my favorites, most of my favorites. Okay. She runs this incredible company called Think Inc. Communications and her newly launched vertical is called Thinkalkies which manages PR and media strategy for celebrity and films and some of her clients include from Karina Kapoor to Viki Kosher to Ali Abhatt to Radika Aita Roy Kapoor, Bobby Deol, Sonia Miraa and so many more. managing the high pressure PR job and running a company. She's also managing her children who are four and seven. And like I said, we're going to discuss business and babies in today's episode of the podcast. Radika, welcome.

3:22 Thank you so much for having me, Mani. And we've chatted about this for a very, very long time. And I must say that when we actually did a poll on Instagram on who should we get our as our next guest and it was so interesting to say that people were very clear that they love the celebrities. They love the experts, but they wanted to see a face who is not flashed around just as vanity metrics, but who's doing exactly the same stuff, who doesn't have an entourage doing hundred other tasks for them, but is eating, breathing, sleeping, and and living the the many facets of life that they're living, the grind of motherhood, the daily the daily grind of motherhood, like you rightly said. Um, tell me all about thinking.

4:10 Tell me a little bit about growing up years. So actually I'm born and brought up in in Delhi and now I I believe that I'm a girl who's working very hard to live her dream in Bombay. Uh I'll always be a Delhi girl at heart. Everyone tells me that now you can say you're from Bombay but I'm just like no I'm not. So how many years in Bombay now? 20 years in Bombay. Okay. Come on. Come on. See once a Delhi girl always a Delhi girl. Okay.

4:34 I I would love to know how many of you guys agree to this. Yeah. All the Delhi people. Come on. Um so yeah that's what uh now I've been in Bombay for for 20 years. Work got me uh work got me here. Um growing up was mani it's a very was was a very regular middle class uh growing up years. But I think two things that really stood out for me now when I look back you know these are things that you don't realize while um you're growing up. One is that I had abundance of love while I was growing up. So I feel like a lot of my self-confidence, a lot of who I am uh today like you know it's so important to be self assured especially in today's world where the pressures of everything are so high uh must come from the fact that it was a a childhood full of love. Um I also had a childhood where my exposure though we were a regular middle-ass family it's not like we had struggles per se regular middle class uh upbringing but my exposure was was amazing anything and everything that happened and I must give my mother a lot of credit uh for that uh anything that happened classes were not so structured as they are for kids uh uh right now but if there was cloth painting she would put us in that if there was somebody and these were classes happening in someone's home, some aunt, somebody's teaching skating, she would put us in that. Drama, she'd put us in that. So, we just did so many things. So, our mind was just so open.

5:59 Uh it's not like we were traveling the world. It's not like any of that was happening. But within our our little universe, we were always doing so many things. Uh so I feel like those two things now when I look back, I feel was such important like ten poles of my growing up years. And I feel it's so important uh like you know you can't put passion into someone but what you can do is give them exposure and you know just open up the world to them in whatever capacity uh you can. So that happened beautifully uh for me and um um I'm only like um you know thankful to my parents for for doing that. Um I came to Bombay uh with a job uh straight out of my college and it was exciting and it was fun and I had never lived in outside of and there was no like Delhi so I went to Manipal actually to do my postgraduation I got a job like a campus placement uh from there and the funny story so I think I was always like I said I was self assured and I was confident uh and uh I got a job where the agency that I was I got an offer from they I had interviewed for an advertising job but they sent me an offer for an event management role so I was a little disappointed and I reached out to them I said but this is not even what I interviewed for but they said no we want to give you this so um I mean I don't think I was immodest but I said this is not what I wanted so I let go of that offer um figured another job came to Bombay gave some interviews my sister was uh living here so I said okay fine in fact I started my career in a in a logistics company very different from what my life is uh today. Um it's a massive massive learning ground. Uh PR is also really a thing that you learn on the job. It's very very hard to teach PR in a college. Um so I worked there and then I uh interviewed for a job in entertainment. Um, and I just love that world and I could never imagine myself then uh doing now it's 18 years uh close to more than 18 years that I'm doing entertainment PR and I absolutely absolutely love it. Right. She's also someone who doesn't love chocolate, hasn't tasted tea and coffee and she has an office in Bandra where every nook and cranny has an incredibly delicious and you know hard to get cafe. So I'm just wondering was this because of uh the struggle with weight while you were growing up or that wasn't the case because right from being borderline anorexic to you know and being self assured which I find so uh diametrically opposite. Yeah. because I I usually feel like you know where there isn't that much of abundance and connection that's where you will see cases like that. How did that happen? So I'll tell you I was and I still am and body issues are very very very hard like I feel I can speak for hours on body issues because I've been through such a journey because I was a overweight uh kid um at that point in time and I don't wish to sound very old. I'm always seeing that point in time. But uh that time vanity wasn't so high. Not everyone was discussing weight and the way you look. It wasn't really like a big conversation. Uh and I was overweight. I never realized I was overweight. I was just a happy kid who would eat a lot. Uh and only because I ate a lot was I and I was still athletic. It's not like I was a couch potato. I would be a part of a basketball team and you know people would joke that you are the ball in the team and all of that. But I had an active uh lifestyle but I was just a happy plump kid. And then uh because my food habits were such that I I kept gaining weight until a time I realized I used to dance a lot. Um that the dance school that I was in and they told me that you know uh in not such kind words that you must lose weight. Um I had a cousin of mine who was staying over and she just told me why don't you stand on the scale and just see how much you weigh. I said I'll be some 55 56. She said just stand once just just let's check. I checked I was 80 kilos and I was like what? And then suddenly something changed and I was like this is uh this is not right and my journey towards fitness was was not the right approach. I took dramatic measures. I used to run 20 kilometers a day even if I couldn't stand like my you know my back would be bent because I would be so exhausted. But I don't know what happened. I don't know what that real trigger was but I remember these two things happening very clearly. I just completely stopped eating. Uh like I would have And how old were you? I was 17 18 like like then um I just would eat an orange a day a bowl of curd. And then for the next 7 8 years it was really yo-yo because that's really not the way to lose weight. And because I've done every possible thing in the world, I can say that with as much confidence. I may not know a lot of science of losing weight, but I can tell you as a real person, the issues that people face, that's starvation is not the way of excessive workout is not the way. I did all of that. Um, I lost a lot of weight.

11:16 I went down to being 46 kilos and from 80 to 46 there were there were people who came up to my mother and asked is she terminally ill? Like what's happened to her? Um and then I gained weight because you know when you take these dramatic measures the minute you get back to even a normal way of doing which is just eating dal chaval routine which you will eat because you can't live your life without eating food. You would put on weight and it'll come back in double and it is a very demotivating uh thing because you're like I'm not eating anything like I'm just eating dal roti sabzi and why am I gaining weight is because you've ruined your body so much that it's retaliating.

11:53 Um so it went through a yo-yo. I would gain weight. I would lose weight. I would gain weight. I would lose weight. And then eventually somewhere after marriage, I started to realize it is taking a toll on me. My energy levels are down. I love to work. Uh I was not able to give it my my all. Um I was having health issues. Uh and I just I was just like you know and my willpower is strong. So I could give up on food which I used to love eating and I just realized that this is not the way. So the better way to do it is even if it's a slow process is to just embrace fitness and honestly man even till today I'm saying all this but I have many days and I'm a very I'm confident at my work and confident when I'm meeting people but if I wake up someday not looking or feeling my best like there would be a mental struggle in my head so um that continues but I'm really working very very hard and it's a it's a vulnerable side and I'm saying this on a public uh platform but It's a side that I have to constantly battle. Yeah. And I'm I'm I'm working on it because there's no other way to do it. Tell me when people would call you, especially in those impressionable ages, call you a ball on the football field or call you other names. How did that make you feel? And I didn't care. I really, like I said, I was there was so much I was so self assured till this moment happened in my life. like uh you know you have uh these books that people write in on your last day of school. There are people who have written and now when I see them somebody has written that people grow this way you grow this way. Yeah. And I would just laugh about it because like it it didn't bother like it never mattered. Imagine I've lived 2 three years thinking I'm 50 55 kilos but I was actually 80 kilos. So I was living in some other world but I was happy and I was content. It it made no difference to me. And tell me there was was there any time that you told your parents that people are calling me this or it wasn't even a thought that it wasn't even a thought it was just something everyone would laugh everyone say that oh if like I always had a lot more guy friendss than girlfriends and when we would go out for lunch and you know Delhi you get some great great food and they would always say that Radhika eats more than all of us so it was just a thing and I was like yeah do you when you're in that age do you internalize this in a way that you'll be like yeah they'll say it but it it becomes you. So even if you didn't feel like eating on behalf of what they would all eat, you still did that because that's your label now. No, I didn't. I genuinely like to do it and I feel like maybe I was blessed at that time. The pressures for having a certain type of a body were not so You feel you could have now in this age of social media, you would have 100% I would have been I would have been a mess. I feel like you know because body shaming was not even a word. Who knew body shaming when I was 18 years old? It didn't exist. It's like moti bullying. So I was moti they called me mot. And I was like I said it did not none of this mattered to me. None of this till the trigger point of somebody in a dance school telling me because I was very passionate about dance. So something about that that triggered me and my cousin telling me let's stand on a wing scale only because I felt I was delusional. Not like I was unhappy with how I looked. I was just like how can I live thinking I'm 55. Somebody like you who is so successful, who so self assured, who grew up with abundance of love, how does the vanity metrics or the definition of beautiful or good play out in your head every day?

15:27 See, like I said, today uh at some point when I started getting on a weight loss journey, my only objective in life was to be skinny. So was it like the definition that you carved for yourself was skinny is beautiful? Yes. There and no other definition. Nothing. Nothing nothing mattered. I wanted everyone to see me and say, "Oh, you've lost weight." And if somebody didn't say it, it would like play on my mind like, you know, I'm working so hard. Why is somebody not? I wanted that a girl who did not need validation at all for anything. Suddenly when it came to weight, I needed that validation. I need everyone to tell me and everyone would tell me because the weight loss was so dramatic. Every single person came to tell me and I used to feel uh very good about my life. So till very long I would say till 8 9 years ago I only wanted to be skinny and skinny is beautiful.

16:19 Skinny not thin not fit skinny. Yeah. like you know was it because you are such a superachiever that was it like a zid that if I don't how can I not do this and if I do this then I have that willpower were you trying to defy your own no see I I always knew that I had a strong willpower if I wanted to but was this your was this your card to prove that this is I have possibly possibly you know at that time your your ticket to I can do this. Yeah. Like if I've said that I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight. But like I said at that time, your your mind is not so evolved. Your thoughts are not so evolved. It's it's so like u so jumbled or somebody said something. What's the trigger for somebody? Nobody knows, right? I don't think the person in my dance school who said meant it in any uh in any manner. I think must have said it for my own good. But for me, it became like such a big trigger that I just to completely stop eating. And when I look back on those days, I'm amazed at myself like what the hell was I was I doing because it's so so so unhealthy. You know, this reminds me of one conversation I had with a lady and she said that she was very um very heavy back in the grade 8 n sort of age. And she's like, you know, my teacher told me that when I came to school that day, she said, you know, and she said, man, it used to hurt. It used to break my heart. And she said, she exactly went on this journey like yours of being completely anorexic, not eating anything. Yeah.

17:59 So much so that moving from almost 90 and 100 kilos to being today at 50 kilos, she has so many um you know so many stretch marks that that that constantly remind her. Yeah. And she's never been able to exit that journey and she's like till the point I got married where I became a size zero and even then on my wedding day I asked my husband am I skinny enough? He's like there is nothing more to lose right and she's like that day I stopped chasing this metrics and she's like it changed my life but the scars remain it's very hard like I'm saying it is very I think once your that trigger happens in your mind or something that moves in your head and you start judging your own body Yeah and and on a on a negative in a negative kind of a way it's it's very hard to it's very hard to move on. Tell me what happened when you got pregnant.

19:01 Did it was it hard like if I put this weight back on? No. The fat girl in me was let loose like my How many kilos did you put on? 20 26 27 28 I don't I don't remember. But I know at one point my doctor told me Radika you know you are putting on a kilo a week. Yeah. What's wrong with you? like you know like you this is not even healthy like what are you doing but that girl inside me who has to always be like okay don't do this I was just like let's go you know I've done it once I can do it again I can do it again and um I put on a lot of weight and then again I realized that uphill battle of that weight loss which is why when my first pregnancy happened uh and I found it so much more harder to lose weight because now you've grown older now your metabolic rate is different now your body is different. You delivered a child. Then I was like, you know, it every I think every few years some reminder came to me that eventually you'll have to embrace fitness.

20:03 Eventually you'll have to love your body however hard it is. And it's okay if some days you don't because don't be hard on yourself. um and find that balance of like I said even till today I could wake up and look at myself in the mirror and not feel so confident and somewhere while I may be going to a meeting and kicking ass or something but it's there at the at the back of my head but it's a very slow process to train your mind it's not easy and then you did it the second time over and when I was very very I mean I I still okay now I'm much more uh liberal with myself when it comes to eating and you know having a drink or or whatever. Uh but with my second pregnancy, I was like there is no reason. It's not like this food is going to end. Which was my thought process earlier. If I don't eat it today, I'll not eat it tomorrow. Like today is my day. So you know when you go from being not eating at all to having those horrible binge days where you're having like 16 pieces of garlic bread with cheese, which is neither is a good way.

21:03 Yeah. Yeah. So I told myself that it's fine like if I don't because I know a lot of women they don't want to go through that second pregnancy sometimes because they feel like I will have to lose this weight again. Yeah it is hard but luckily honestly in my second pregnancy because I was uh I was more self-aware when it came to dramatic measures. So I said that I don't want to and I had uh luckily both my pregnancies were were healthy but I did not gain as much weight. Of course, losing whatever weight after second pregnancy is harder because like I said, you've grown up slightly more. Uh you've delivered a second baby. Everything is is harder as you I I know what you're saying cuz with my first one I put on 22 kilos and I I it was so hard for me to accept me in this avdar and you know I know this recent article in Vogue that Radika mentioned it's like sometimes you don't know that there is another version of you and I've had no body issues or I've never had an unhealthy relationship with food or with my body or with I've always been an athletic fit kid. So, but just accepting that I thought like at some point in time I was breathing air and I was putting on weight that but I I think just the fact that I was in no rush to prove anything to myself or to the world kind of made it a two-year process and maybe I wasn't in the limelight that I had anything to prove to anyone.

22:38 Yes. Most of the I mean nonseleelebrity mothers like like us who could be business women or whatever there's nothing to prove to anyone but there is just so much pressure that women put on ourselves on ourselves I don't think anyone's putting that pressure it's not like my husband ever told me that oh you're losing weight you're gaining weight or my friends told me or anybody told me it was just something that it's self-inflicted yeah it's self-inflicted and that's where that's why the battle is so hard do you think that because you're hanging around with really beautiful people you're managing some of the finest and fittest looking people.

23:10 Yeah. Is it doubly hard? Not so much because I really feel like since especially since we've started the celebrity vertical even I'm in my head space right now where I'm working hard to be uh you know more assured when it comes to my body and more confident when it comes to my body. I'm just saying my work is very different. What's the work that you're doing on yourself? I u see I I work out. I'm very diligent when it comes to my my my working out. it's actually my my time and I feel like this is this is my time that's my own like you know I would not mess with that for anything uh and I'm trying to eat healthy and I'm trying to not judge myself on a daily basis because yes there would be some days where you are PMSing or you are on your period or something something will happens there's so many things that go on in a woman's body that we have no idea so not to judge myself on a daily basis and to not see it as a sprint and more like a marathon that I want to be fit for myself for my kids and and this is this conversation you have with yourself on a daily basis all the time. Is it hard for you to see a celebrity shooting and see that Korean glass skin and feel like dude look at me? Does that happen?

24:25 Not so much. I'll tell you my only fear man is that because you know we all are such like our children will take so much of our energy and and you know what we are thinking maybe not even overly telling them and I have two girls so I just really wish and pray that somewhere this is something that I don't pass it on to them pass on like you know uh subconsciously also so I'm very aware that I don't have body related discussions in front of my uh kids so it's it's my own battle with myself it's very personal and and I try to deal with it uh like that. But no, I don't see somebody else um and honestly skin and none of that is my issue. My only issue is my body says. Yeah.

25:05 Nothing else is something that bothers me. When I see someone, I'll be like, "Oh, how so beautiful." And tell me how um how hard does social media make it. Like, you know, I feel like sometimes when and and this is something that I've always intended to create. I haven't done that yet. But I see so many women in their 40s or 30s comparing their bodies with women in their who are 16 and 18 and 20. Yeah. When that's an unreal expectation to have because we can never be the same again. 100%. But we still admire women who are 10 years younger. And you'll see um you know beauty brands or makeup brands always go for the younger ones because the the the definition of beauty is young, right?

25:51 It's never old skin and all of that that what we don't have now. Yeah. So how do how do you make sure that that that aspect of social media does not come into play now? So maybe somewhere it helps me that we are part of this business and you know we know what goes behind putting out a a social media post and we know so somewhere that uh helps and you know that this is a very uh it's distorted reality. This is this is not the real world like you know if anyone can pose and social media will teach you that if you are pear-shaped if you pose like this you will look like this but if you don't uh pose like that you will not look like that. So somewhere that awareness is there and I feel somewhere being in the business uh helps and it could be an advantage that you know that this is this is not real right. Tell me um as the kids came along and you were building your business was there a moment where you felt like was there a rush to get back because it was your own business did you like overcompensate? Do you like if I did you get FOMO more like if I don't give it my 500% I will lose this?

27:02 No, but like I said, I love to work. And I really feel for setting up any business, you must really really love what you do. And of course, the money will come. And everyone's doing it for money, right? I'm not saying that this has to be one only a creative process that you're doing it for the love of something. Of course, it's business. It must bring you the money or whatever is that you're chasing, but you must love what you do because it does require you to put in your 100% on almost on a daily basis. Um like I said I had very easy touch with pregnancy so I never really missed out on work. I was working till one day before uh I delivered uh my kids and I don't mean to glorify that for anybody because really everyone's journey is their own but because mine was easy and I did have the liberty. So I went to work every single day. Um I also feel somewhere I'm practical. Um and maybe that's helped me like when my kid was born uh I think two two three hours later I sent a work message to somebody and all we were an all girls team and they laughed and they said Radika what's wrong with you? But the truth of the matter is man it's not like I was trying to prove a point to someone that oh I'm a workaholic or some my kid was born my kid you know they are doing nothing. the kid is just on the side.

28:17 Everyone's only focused on the kid. I did not feel bad about it. I'm not that person. Like, so I don't victimize myself when it comes to this stuff. Of course, a newborn baby is born. Everyone's going to focus. The baby was sleeping. I had massive anesthesia and all of that happening. I felt no pain because the medicines were doing what they were doing. So, I was just sitting in bed with nothing. Yeah. So, I picked up my phone. One work message I saw, I felt the need to respond. So, I responded. So, it's not that I'm glorifying that. Oh, if you're working then you must get back to work next day.

28:46 But I found an opportunity so I I did it. Like do you expect the same from everyone in your organization? No. How hard is it to not? I really don't. But I also know that we have tried to build a team of people who feel passionate. See, when you feel passionately about something, no one's going to ask you to please answer your call at 6:00 or post work hours or 7:30, 8 or 9. But you are consciously getting into a business of entertainment which is 24/7. We are also in the business of news where something will happen at 7:00 a.m. or something will happen at 10:00 at night and now I can't not be available. So I have great perks in my job like you know I have team members who are flying to Maldi's for a shoot and you know hanging out with the celebrities or you know with big brands. So this is a conscious decision that you have taken to be in this space. So if you don't love the high of being in the entertainment space or the high of whatever your work brings you then you'll not give it your all. So we have tried to build a team uh that feels as uh passionately. So right let me while you were scaling thinking was already there and thinkalkies happened was there any moment in that which you felt like if I scale this up I will lose my child's childhood or you know like I don't know if it's typical founder syndrome where you feel like if something is scaling forward something needs to scale backward we're in this dilemma constantly did you feel that many days many days I felt It's like oh you know and you have those weak moments where you question that why am I even doing this I could have been in a job and my life would have been easier and many many many there are many days where I keep asking people am I still employable did you do that yeah like you know like should I just been like head of PR for some company would they take me and if they take me like do I have to just go to work at 10:00 and come back at 5 and 6 and uh but I feel like I'm proud of something that I'm building and on those weekdays which you should and I really feel like somewhere where women specifically struggle um and you could be a homemaker and you could be a working uh professional we take too much upon ourselves. We don't let the weak moments come because it's just some either we have been taught or either it's just somewhere in our society or in our minds that we have to always be strong. Yeah. You know, of course, women can cry, but when it comes to keeping things together, it's a woman's job and she should know it. So somewhere if it's that's there in our head, we don't. So I let those weak moments pass and I let myself feel that emotion that today I feel like it's sinking or you know what's going on? Is it even worth it?

31:33 Yeah. How could I miss my kids? U XY Z something concert. My younger daughter, three-year-old, had a concert and we had an offsite that was planned to celebrate 10 years of the company. Wow. Uh and I did not know the concert at that time. So, you know, we booked tickets of like 25 people. There was no way I was going to change it. And my heart was like this is the first time she's going to be on stage, you know. So, and I also want to celebrate my company that's now turning 10. It's like a big deal. So, there are many moments like that. But like I said, you have to let the weak moments come to you and you have to let it take its course and let it pass because eventually you will know yourself that you know what are you doing this for?

32:13 Like I said, I find joy in creation and I'm loving the joy of building something and also uh the idea is mani that eventually you have to build something like while you're the founder, you have to build a team around you that supports that is very important and I feel even as a mother it's very important. It's important to have and I'm not saying it takes a village to raise a child and all of that but build a community of of friends, family or partner where you know you find support. There is no reason and there is no medal to do everything yourself. Yeah. So tell me how have you built the ecosystem around for yourself? How do you make sure that you show up every single day and like you said you have erratic hours right because entertainment or a situation that you need to salvage can happen even at 2:00 in the morning or and it does you know ever so often. Uh, one is I show up because a I want to Yeah, that's the absolute basic that I want to show up uh for work and b a uh b I have a great partner and I cannot be thankful.

33:20 Uh I can't ever be uh thankful enough who really pitches in and helps balance uh that out. uh I have staff that helps and uh like I said those are little privileges that one one has and so I'm very thankful my mom is around friends like when I need to lean on a friend and say that you know some days you don't want to leave however great your nanny is you don't want to leave your kid with a nanny because you just feel like what is she going to do so you lean on friends and you say uh that you know can I send my kid over or you send your kid over or can you look after and like I said that Something will suffer at some point. The what are we struggling with? We're struggling to find the balance. Yeah. Right. Between work and home and kids and personal life and we have to know that nothing will be and we have to have the courage to accept that nothing will be 100% on a daily basis. Yeah. Something will suffer on the cost of the other at someday.

34:18 Yeah. And uh I may sound philosophical like I said I I have the struggle as well. It's not like I found the perfect balance, but that's what I'm striving to do. And I'm striving to accept that it's okay. Someday I will miss something at work because my Yeah. The intention is goes unquestioned because the intention is always there to show up. Tell me, do we as working women get judged or have you been judged saying she won't show up? Yeah. Do you get labeled? Yeah. And I don't I I really feel like maybe I'm just giving people the benefit of doubt and I don't think they mean sometimes people just you know they just say things without even realizing like you know does your child run to your nanny more than they run to you. Do they say that too? Yeah. Many this I've heard many and the truth is that yes my my younger daughter till she was 2 years old was definitely more attached to her nanny than she was to me. It's the truth. But like I said, because now when I look back, like I told you right at the start, because I was brought up with so much love and my assurance on myself other than wait and I want to keep those two things very separate is so much that I was like that's fine. I'm the mother.

35:30 No one's going to take that away from me. You saying that she runs to the nanny or me seeing that she runs to the nanny. You know how typically a child will fall and their first word will be mama. My daughter's first was not mama. It was Didi. Yeah. But that's fine. I'm a mother and nobody needs to say that to me. I have nothing to prove to anybody. She's my kid and our connection is our connection. It's very personal for her and me. You know, I'm so glad that you brought this up because I know before Kids Stop Press when, you know, I was working full-time and I was heading brand and PR for some international brands in the country. And my mother-in-law was watching my girls, my elder one at least that time. and she would show up at school, she would show up at the park. If I had crazy days, once I was home, I was home. But, you know, if she would show up for the job, pickups, the birthday party and everything. And I didn't have a full-time nanny at that point in time in my career. And I don't think it was a commodity then. It wasn't a thing. It was It wasn't a thing then, right? Like 16 years ago. No, most definitely. It was few and far um in between. And that's the time when everybody said aren't you insecure or and that you know she's more attached to her daddy than she is to you and I was like no I'm just very grateful yes because if not for this immense support system I mean till till today and I joke about it but I know it's the truth that she's actually their first mom. Yes. And I am their second mom because she's raised them.

37:06 Yes. And she's actually my better half because my husband has, you know, a job that gets him to travel a lot. And she's literally my partner in crime for everything from masti to all the mess that happens in our lives. But and I feel that so many women let this creep in this insecurity. Yes. that if I am absent, my child is going to get close to somebody else and I will never have that time to fill that void. Yeah. And we give up everything that we've ever worked for. Yeah. Just for that insecurity and for Yeah. But like I said, so many of this is self-inflicted. So many of this like this insecurity and it's it's understandable. Like you would understand it, I'd understand because we've been through it. It's 100% understandable. But it's it's also like I said to tell yourself why you're doing to what you're doing. Hence you should be passionate. Hence you must love to show up. Hence you must if because if you don't then all of this will happen.

38:01 Yeah. Uh you would have loved what you were doing. You still love what you're doing. Which is why you're saying okay it's fine for my mother-in-law to look after my kid and for her to be their first port of call and for me to be the second but I'm still the mother. Yeah. You know. Yeah, but I obviously to say that to everybody who's listening and watching, we're not taking that privilege for granted. We are working every single day at compensating or sometimes even overcompensating for it. Um but I I it's it's not a privilege we take for granted. It's in fact having that privilege of an extra hand is the privilege we truly truly value. Right.

38:40 Um tell me when you were talking about um you know the parts where you thought that um you know you were absent or you were you know that when she's when mothers would say this and you know I was watching intern with my girls the I think two weeks ago and you know there's this episode where um there's this part or a scene where an hathway walks uh to drop her child to school and the mother says oh but you're supposed to I had cookies or something, but don't worry, you won't be able to get it. So, something something. And she said, "No, sure. I'll she was supposed to make hummus or something." And she said, "Oh, but you won't be able to do it. You won't have the time or whatever." And you know, and the daughter says, "Mom, you don't even know how to make hummus. Why are you promising?" So, I feel do you feel like, and I know this happens in my case because my kids when I'm trying to overvolunteer on things, they be like, "Mom, don't do it. You're not going to be able to deliver on this." Do you think kids of working parents know their parents' limitations and we can very widely laugh over it or very openly laugh over it? I feel I'll get there with my kids. My kids are still too small to understand. But I can fully imagine this scene when I am like my kids are like 16 or something and my girls. But I also feel like overall in life like it's important to have humor and it's the ability to laugh at yourself, the ability to accept that yeah this is not something I'm going to do. Like only yesterday my daughter said and I actually love cooking. I love cooking. I just don't find the time to cook as much. And uh she said that will you make this for me?

40:18 I said, "Yeah, maybe mama has not gone in the kitchen for two months, so I can take a jab at myself and laugh because I've not gone to the kitchen in two months and maybe I said, "Maybe I should make something for you." So, uh, so so the other day I missed something and and um my elder one's like telling her younger one, did you put it on her calendar? And my calendar is a joke, by the way. However organized I am and however meticulous I am about planning it, it's like a joke. if you've not put it on her calendar, the chances of it happening are very limited. And then my husband and I both looked at each other and then started reading some more food because we didn't know how to answer that question and it was hilarious. And then yesterday she said that mom you forgot to get kite paper and jude string and I was like you know for 30 seconds do you ever go back and say um I am the CEO of thinking communications. Do you think I look like the one who can order kite paper and jewel strings? Does that happen to you? See, I I miss some things as like you said as however organized you are and however many lists you'll make and I'll there'll always be because there's you're human and you're likely to miss but I also have this uh faith in myself that I'll figure it out. So if something has to be done and something I'll be like oh no you know something on a class group they'll say this and I'll be like but I'll I'll figure it out something I I didn't get the stick then I used a broomstick but that's what I'm saying like jugar becomes our second but don't you feel like your work actually is helping these aspects of motherhood like you know this resilience this multitasking this ability to do because we're doing this at work and that same confidence you carry back to your motherhood and I feel like actually and you know and I'm sure lots of moms who love work you and so many others uh you one would think even I thought that oh will it hamper my productivity will I not be 100% for my work because now I'm divided and I have to have look after my kids as well as this but I als I mean of course like I said there are many weak moments many many vulnerable moments but I really feel like um I have taken lots of my positives from motherhood and put them at work and lots of my positives at work and put them here. So actually I feel both my worlds are also benefiting while they're conflicting and they're trying to pull me apart on many days but they're also benefiting. Oh, 100%. Uh all the time and it's such a again I'm so grateful that I have and I also feel like why do I need to choose like why does everyone say kids or business but why why I can choose both and like I said on someday maybe business would suffer someday kids may not get as much attention but I'm confident it'll balance itself out in the long run.

43:07 Right. Tell me um what's the price besides of course children. What's the price you've paid for your success? Nan mani I only I only have gratitude because this is what I wanted to do. I come from a family where nobody in any generation has ever done business either my mother's side. We did not even know what it is to like we were a serviceass family. My father grew up in the runs before he passed away. He was senior vice president of a multinational. So life is very good but it's a very different DNA to run a business. I don't think I had it in my genes. I was not born an entrepreneur. It's just something I've learned on the job. And you know how everyone has that one thing. So many of us have it. I also had that one thing. My husband comes from a business background. So he really like encouraged me. He said just do it. Now what is there that time? We were young. We're 30 years old and you know life was very different. So just do it. and it just we just did it, you know, like okay, let's do it like that. So, I'm just saying that I only and only have gratitude.

44:12 There have been many downs, there have been many not so great days, but we all have it. But, and tell me when you see um a lot of younger firms in your space do well or do better or bag a client or get acquired or any sort of metrics. Do you feel like if I was younger, if I had 24 full 24 hours and no motherhood role, I could also do that. Do you compare yourself 100%. I feel like I feel like if today I was uh solo, just me and my husband, I would have killed it in many other ways. But I wouldn't because as much as I wanted to run this business, I wanted to have kids. Yeah. It's not a decision that I've uh taken forcefully.

45:01 It's not something that I felt oh time is ticking so I must do it. I really really wanted to have kids. So both are decisions that I've taken. So uh I'm okay if I'm killing it at 98% and not at 100%. It's fine. Yeah. But for somebody like you who's such a perfectionist and so strong willed um it must be very hard to kill it at 98 and not 99. It's fine. Like I said have realistic expectations from yourself. I have realistic expectations for myself and I'm just like this is what I'm doing and I proud of what I'm doing. It's not like I feel like I'm doing less. I'm very proud. I feel like I'm overextending myself when it comes to my kids. I'm overextending myself when it comes to my work and it's it's okay.

45:45 Yeah. Tell me if you have um a toolkit for how your life works right now, what would those tools be in the toolkit like making sense? Lists after a list after list. I'm obsessed with lists. Like what? Like Google Sheets. No, no. I'm old school, man. I have to write I have to go every single day in the morning. I have to write down every single thing I have to do. I have to tick it. It's my it's it's my little joy of life before I leave from work. I have to take everything that I've done. And how do you how do you make sure that everything else back in every other walk of life is happening?

46:22 uh one as a mother I I I have stuck to schedule and I really uh propagate that a lot. I feel it's very important. Kids learn by wrote uh kids learn by routine. It's their comfort. It's whatever little bit that I've read and I've seen out of practical experience. Uh uh so I know that their life is structured. I know what they're doing at some point in time. So it also gives me a comfort while I'm not at home. Like I know this is lunchtime and I know now they'll play and I know now they'll do whatever they have to go for a class or something something something. Uh that but there are there are lists for everything.

46:54 There's lists for a birthday party. There's a list for every single thing. Yeah. We're going to do a fun rapid fire. Okay. And uh I'm going to ask you a few questions. So let's see how you do. Okay. First thing you do when you wake up, go to the L. Come on. But better. I need a better answer. But truly, that's what I do. Okay. Unless you want me to say I have a glass of warm water and I meditate. None of that. I straight go to the Luke.

47:22 Okay. Uh, she's healthy. Three words that describe you as a mom. Hands-on. Strictler for schedule. For sure. Mindful. Okay. one word that people one word you feel is often associated with you hustler maybe um one celebrity you'd love to work with you know I have this massive crush on George Clooney now he's international but now I feel those are the big dreams that we need to have if not PR what will you be doing flying a plane okay the most unexpected place you've had a client meeting. Actually, I've had client meetings in very obvious places, but somebody in my team had a client meeting with someone in a parking lot once. So, and she told me like I met her in the parking lot. I said, "Parking lot?" She said, "Yeah, it just happened quickly and then it got done." I said, "Okay." Okay. Sent a wrong child to the wrong birthday party. No. Okay. A movie you can watch on repeat.

48:27 I can I tell you a show that I can watch? I genuinely watch Friends every single day. And I mean it every single day. Even if I watch 2 minutes of it, I will watch it every day. Okay. A work habit you swear by lists. Okay. The best advice you've ever received uh is from my last boss before I started thinking communication and I believe my mentor in many many ways is Ronnie Scrual and he said failure is a comma and not a full stop. Okay. What's the strongest what is the strangest pitch you've ever received? Actually, we are the ones who are giving pitches because we are an agency. So, we don't Okay. We don't get pitches. Your superpower as a PR professional.

49:11 I think my my superpower as a person, if I were to call it a superpower, is my uh ability or my faith that I will figure it out. Yeah. A PR myth you'd love to bust. It's not easy. The most memorable compliment from a client. So you know when we started and this may not be a rapid answer but when we started thinking uh there was no real vision mission that we'll become number one in the country none none of that uh no backing it was just started like I said my husband said let's do it and I said okay ch I'll I'll do it only thing was that we just wanted to become extended partners with our whoever we like whoever our client is so and today when our clients tell us that you know we really feel like you are part of us and this is not a agency and the client to me that's a big compliment because that's how we started. Most memorable parenting moment. How to pick one.

50:05 One thing you do to unplug from work. Workout. Okay. Um I have to ask you this, which is what is the one product you've seen all the stars use which because you're so up close with them that you would spend money on? None. But none really none. But because I hear everyone and I don't take care of my skin or or any of that, I'm just like everything else takes precedence. I hear everyone speak about moisturize and sunscreen and sun. So I feel like if I have to really spend my money on something even if they're not endorsing would be just basic absolute basic skin care which is just moisturizing your face and putting a good sunscreen.

50:45 That's all. Okay. Um what's the one thing you never compromise on as a mom? You know, it's hard. I I I run an agency so my time is really dependent on a lot of other people's uh time. So I I can't say like I can't say it's bedtime or I can't say it's school pickup and drop because that'll really be wrong and I think it send out a wrong message because I can't do that. I I I would want to like I say be a part of important occasions but I may have to miss it. Uh so none of that but I um possibly taking holidays uh with them like we definitely do plan that once in um two three months we take some days off. Okay. You did fairly well I must say I'm so glad we had this conversation and like I said I haven't looked up at the cards even once. Amazing. Thank you.

51:35 Parenting tips, celebrity interviews, recipes, conversations with experts, DIYs, and lots more.