# This is how you create a boundary

**Creator:** Dr. Shefali
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 2m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9pxYWafQ9M

## Summary

Many women struggle with establishing conscious boundaries, often resorting to pleading or begging for respect from others, which ultimately gives away their personal power. True empowerment comes from recognizing that one can choose their response and take action rather than relying on others to change their behavior for personal comfort.

- Conscious boundaries involve taking ownership of one's feelings and actions.
- Pleading for respect often leads to giving away personal power.
- Women are encouraged to assert their autonomy instead of begging for change.
- Examples include walking away from disrespectful behavior or taking control of shared resources (like Wi-Fi).
- Empowerment comes from making choices about how to respond to others' actions.
- A conscious boundary is about accepting or leaving a situation rather than demanding change from others.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9pxYWafQ9M&t=0s)
So many women have a hard time creating conscious boundaries. We don't even know what the hell is a conscious boundary. We think if we beg the other, if we tell the other with tears, you know, please stop being rude to me. Please don't disrespect me. Or we tell our children, you know, if you're going to continue, you know, being on your phone and being disrespectful, then you need to leave the dining table. What we don't realize in all of these strategies is that we give our power away. We tell them that they need to change their behavior in order for us to feel better. And there is nothing worse than that. It took me decades to realize that. Why? Because when you give that power away and you tell the other that they are in charge of your internal state, you don't realize how you've literally given away your life force. This life force, this power is yours. You have a mind, a heart, and two legs and a mouth for a reason. Use it for your emancipation. So instead of begging the other, instead of telling the other to change their behavior in order for you to feel safe and better, this is what you do. You tell your child, you know, you can keep being disrespectful. You can keep talking the way you do. I don't engage.

[[1:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9pxYWafQ9M&t=86s)
I will use my two legs and my mind and walk away. Or you can keep thinking that you can be be on your phone and use all the Wi-Fi and run out of time and you know minutes. I have given you this phone and I own the phone. So I can either take it away or I can shut down the Wi-Fi because I pay for the Wi-Fi and you take action. You know, a mother once came to me and said, "My kids never shut off the lights." And I said to her, "Stop begging them, take out the light bulbs." And they were like, "What? You take power." So if your husband, your partner, your boss is being disrespectful, stop begging them to change. Just say, "You can continue to be disrespectful. I don't engage. So I'm going to make a change. I'm either going to accept it. I can always accept it. Or I'm going to leave it. I get to choose."

[[2:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9pxYWafQ9M&t=143s)
That is a conscious boundary.