Live Q&A with Jason Kreidman - 03.07.23 | Dad University Show

0:00 thank you [Music] [Music]

0:37 thank you [Music] thank you and we are live back that's funny because I got a delay on my

1:09 side so I'm seeing multiple things but good to have uh you guys with us if you're joining us for the live stream then welcome if you're joining us on a replay welcome as well and the Hope here is that we answer questions related to being a father there are some things that I've experienced and hopefully I can share with you when I don't know the answer I tell you that as well because there are some issues that people uh

1:36 ask about and quite frankly they're great questions but I don't want to give the wrong advice it may not be an area of my expertise so I'll defer to that if you want to support the channel as always daduniversity.com support you can become a member pay what feels good and then you can also if you want to just do a one-time donation we appreciate that too there's a lot of work that goes into this Believe It or

2:05 Not uh there's a lot whether it's the videos and the scripting of the videos the uh sounds microphones editing video assistant all kinds of stuff there's a lot of costs involved and so anything that you contribute by either being a member or donating to the show is appreciated so if you have a question throw it in the chat and that's a great

2:35 way that we can start communicating also if you're visiting uh just put in your name or it'll show up your name will show up but just where you're from and uh maybe if you have a child on the way when's the due date if you have children how old are your children it helps us understand the audience helps me understand who I'm talking to Oh and it looks like we have a question this is from one of our other videos

3:01 um I did a video your girlfriend is pregnant and you'll be okay and says would you suggest men to marry their girlfriends if they get them pregnant [Music] well so I don't necessarily believe to marry just because of the child uh I think that that has to do with you know the stability of the relationship and that closeness of the relationship now of course we can go back and say

3:33 Coulda Shoulda would have now if you're going to have sex then you have to be prepared for what those consequences are um so as far as like strictly getting married I don't necessarily recommend that but I do recommend staying in the child's life the child is 50 yours the DNA it's 50 50 and so you should absolutely be an integral part of that child's life and I think that is a very important thing and many times

4:03 um you know because they're not going to be with the the mother that men for some reason either don't think it's their responsibility or um you know don't care that it's their responsibility and that is often a problem why we have childless or fatherless children and um so I I don't necessarily believe that you have to get married um but you certainly need to make that best effort to be um have a relationship with mother and

4:34 have an absolute strong relationship with that child that child is yours just as much as it is hers so I do think that that uh that's something that to be considered so uh remember too if you have questions put them in the chat we've got people joining us from YouTube Facebook and Linkedin we're streaming what's that oh and Twitter and we really want to stream through

5:05 Instagram and we've applied for it I don't know if anyone has any secrets out there on how to stream through Instagram through a desktop right it's not that like we can't stream or I don't know um because we have these cameras equip camera equipment up and we've we've go through these other software and use all these different systems it's not my expertise I just sit here and talk um but other people are smarter I mean Luke's a lot smarter than me in that

5:33 department so he handles that um what else I think we've got another question you throw it up there nope that was the previous one ah so I did a video on teaching kids manners and being polite and respectful and wandra or Warda

6:05 Warda asks how to teach a three four-year-old to greet people when they strongly refuse to do so and they're so shy well there's probably a couple things that are going on there and first thing I would say is like an overarching thing is that children all develop at different stages you know they are comfortable around people you know depending on the exposure um you know this could be what's called let's call them strangers I don't like

6:36 that word but you know people that they don't know um there's a better term that we instead of the word strangers it was um I forget what the term was I used it in one of the videos just because that you know strangers can be nice and so um it was like Shifty people or suspicious people or something like that but I think you know a child that is shy you might be asking too much of them too

7:05 soon so as an example you might teach them just to smile you know maybe they just smile they say or they put up their hand and wave or or maybe they do nothing you know they are going at their own pace maybe you start with your own family you know introducing them to family or the neighbors or that kind of thing and it's like I don't want to compare a child to a puppy but I we have

7:28 a dog and we got a puppy and it's very similar in that the puppy needs to be exposed to people you can't expect that the dog's gonna be in your house all the time and never see people and be around people and then all of a sudden be comfortable with people so you know children are somewhat the same other than the fact that they just eventually grow and mature or a little bit more and have that exposure to people so I

7:55 think what you can do is um you know get them out more and then also have maybe a little less expectations might feel a little bit you don't have to make excuses for your child oh well you know she or he is shy so whatever just not comfortable right now that's okay don't put pressure on the child to do that yeah there's no there's no secret of forcing the child I think if anything they want to feel comfortable uh maybe

8:20 you know you're holding their hand and you just have them wave or you know or just smile and you know that could be enough and uh you can you can talk about that as they get old enough to actually talk about it you know at three four they might be able to actually communicate something you could say you know what is it that you don't like you know they they don't know them they might not feel

8:39 comfortable about them they might not be able to communicate that so that's what that's what um so hopefully that helps uh again if you want to support the channel go to daduniversity.com support it really does help I I know like I say it all the time but when we get members we get donations that allows us to add

9:09 you know more stuff spend more time help more people uh it really does make a difference so you can become a member get access to all of the courses we have 12 courses now um courses all the videos all organized well as well as um discussion boards and support and then so that's for the the membership or you can just do a one-time donation and that's cool too [Music]

9:42 I think it's set in or good to see you from Ukraine good to see you Sun's one years old yeah thanks for uh thanks for stopping by and telling us yeah I see people on I mean it's like it's funny you see a bunch of people that you know come on and you know they don't want to talk they want to watch um but you know this show gets better by the interactions of people you know I

10:03 I've seen actually in a lot of a lot of the shows that we've had people commenting and helping other people who are commenting and that's really cool to see too you know fathers who have experienced something can help other fathers and uh you know pay it forward and so that's what we try to do supporting each other is important and uh there's not a lot of support for dads out there and that's what we're trying to do so

10:28 I saw that you did have another question up Luke I saw that but I know it went by because I like to talk it's part of being in on a live show you go back and all right Christopher ass I got one for you how do I deal with my newborn being in the NICU uh it's our first and it's super stressful my wife and I feel useless and he will be okay but it's just so

10:56 hard to see him like that is there any advice I wish there was um you know some specific words that would just make it all better first I will say you know I'm sorry that you have to deal with that that's not an easy thing we actually had that as well with uh our daughter and it was very very difficult you know hooked up to machines um all kinds of monitors and wires and things and it is very very scary

11:27 and I think um for those of you not knowing Nick you it's I don't know what the abbreviation stands for which does sound for something but it's um the Neato intensive carry or neonatal Intensive Care Unit I think it is something like that and basically um it's the area of the hospital when babies need special attention you know when they something's going on at Birth whether they have um you know some sort of issue that you

11:58 need to resolve or they're concerned about something or something it's just something that they want to look at further then you know a baby will go in there and that can be scary for parents because you know you're the whole expectation that you know baby's healthy comes out sits on the mom's you know chest and you know everyone's happy and it's like well sometimes that doesn't happen and so um first I will say that you know I'm

12:24 sorry that you have to deal with that it is not an easy thing the other it sounds like you know things are going to be okay it just is a matter of taking some time is maybe try and be grateful I know that in some situations that's hard but being grateful actually removes a lot of negative feelings because you know there's not a lot of room for that negativity and um and so it's you know being grateful for

12:53 the good parts the fact that you maybe you know that the baby is under good care the fact that the you know that you may be able to see the baby you know a couple times during the day you know those are the kinds of things um as hard as it is and I know it is hard it's a lot easier said than done of just focusing on those positive things and seeing how you know it's gonna feel

13:18 like a really really long time even if it's a couple days and know that it's not forever and that eventually you know things things are going to get better and so that that's a hard one uh but I do think and it's also supporting each other you know realize that you know you both mom and dad might be experiencing it differently might have a little bit different emotions towards it you know some stronger than others and

13:49 so just so just be empathetic as well and for those of you not aware empathy is like looking at the situation from your partner's perspective so for you you know it's looking at it from you you know from Mom's perspective of really understanding what she might be going through too you know she's had this baby inside of her for nine months and then all of a sudden there's a problem or some issue that now you know

14:13 you have to deal with so her experience might be a little bit different if you might be able to bond together by you know experiencing this together too so I think that it just kind of depends on the situation so for those of you checking this out um throw your questions in the chat I'd love to hear you know or or maybe here's a good one maybe instead of a question you can comment on it what is your

14:42 favorite thing about being a father um and I'll share with you probably maybe something from me or for me I think one of the best things there's probably there's a couple of them I can say um the first is the unconditional love that you receive you know when a baby or a young child they love you by default you know they are not concerned with how much money you make it's like it a dog

15:12 you know they're not concerned with how much money you make or you know what you did at work or even what you look like or you know all of these things that as people get older you know those kinds of things come into play in society and everything else like a child just loves you and just wants to be held and loved and and that I don't know there's just something really really pure and wonderful about that

15:39 that as you get older you forget about that um and then one of the other things too I would say is one of my favorite things about being a father is when you see something or experience something that you have been teaching for a really long time and trying really really really hard and your son or daughter then does it or behaves in that way or acts in that way or says that whatever it is and and

16:09 realizing that like they got it you know they get it and I've given the example about getting angry and I used to get a lot I used to yell I was a recovering Yeller and I used to yell a lot more and you know started realizing how damaging that was to myself and my children and so you know one of the things I did was I would come back you know I'd like say I stormed out of a room or something

16:35 and I would come back and apologize and the probably the number one reason I was doing that was I was trying to model the behavior I thought in my head and said you know what am I gonna teach my child right now in this situation and so I would model the behavior of what I would have wanted to see and so getting upset storming out of the room coming back in and seeing my children do that where they

17:04 get angry they walk out of a room they catch they collect themselves they come back and they say wow you know I apologize I I could have handled that a lot better or I'm sorry for yelling or you know hey this was not my intention or like recognizing what they're doing and when you see that and experience that as a father I I just it's so wonderful because you know that something that you did and showed and modeled is going to

17:34 serve them well in their life it's not the the ego trip that you know hey I taught him something great it's like you realize how valuable that is for them and that's you know because I just did something that was valuable for me and I and I was conscious about it helping them it did and um you know and if they practice they'll have those tools with them and so I I think as a father that's that's

18:00 something that I really really enjoy seeing so what is it I see people on there's people all over the place that are on here you guys you guys are quiet uh just observers or just passive Observers what is something or what is it that you love about being a father if you aren't yet a father what is something that you are looking forward to or experiencing or feeling as a father

18:30 I'd love to hear that uh just throw your comments in the in there and if you don't have anything well then I don't know what to tell you maybe we got another question Luke we'll load up a question here as I ramble another public service announcement you might be able to see them on me I see it on the screen but I have these red Dots here

19:00 those I went to the skin doctor and those are um I don't know what they're called but the doctor froze them off yesterday and so though that's something that that's a public service announcement you should go every six months but even if you just go every year go to a skin doctor and get yourself checked you can avoid skin cancers all kinds of stuff by catching things early because that's a announcement so yeah I've got a little

19:26 bit here a little bit here I got another thing here and it's just routine stuff that as you get older you got to get it checked so for those dads out there who you know maybe occasionally go outside that's what happens um all right Jesse asks what if I did not oh because I did an unplanned pregnancy video so this is something where you didn't you know how men can deal with an unwanted pregnancy what if I did not want to be a father

19:56 I asked my girlfriend to terminate the baby but she says no double standard now she wants to keep it but yet I can't financially abort child support or support the child well we could play Shoulda Coulda Woulda but we're not going to um but for the for the men listening who don't who are not in this situation or not yet might find themselves in this situation

20:26 this is where you need to be very careful and you need to protect yourself um you know physically protect yourself meaning or sexually protect yourself but then also of being very very aware of who you are with and what it is that you are doing when you're young you just don't think about these things a lot until something happens and then you have to think about it um but for you Jesse

20:59 um here's what I will say it's a little bit of tough love that's the way it goes and um you need to be in this child's life if she is choosing to keep the child and whether that you feel that is unfair unfortunate um the child is going to be better off with you in their life and in whatever

21:30 capacity as much capacity as you are able to handle um or more than you're able to handle you know I'm just giving you advice and a suggestion whether you follow it or not you know entirely up to you because millions of of men do not follow this but that child is yours in fact we had the the previous question that you know that that child is 50 yours the DNA is 50 yours and the fact that you know one person

22:00 gets to choose whether the child comes into the world or not um you may not feel like it's fair but that is the way that it is and there I don't know of being able to go to court or any legal process for being able to terminate I you know I'm not aware of that so it is just one of those things and as a result of that for those men who are aware of that that's you you do have to be concerned

22:32 about that when you are involved with somebody you have to be aware of it when you decide to be intimate you've got to be aware of that and take those precautions um precisely for that situation you know it is a difficult difficult situation I'm sorry Jesse that you are in that it is um it's not easy and but you're in it and so what do you do and what is the best thing to do

23:03 um you know you might not feel it's the best thing for you but you're in a situation where it isn't just about you anymore um you have you have uh barred if that's a word buried a child and those are the ramifications of it and so yeah I'm sorry but um there's not much else to do I mean that's that's the title of the video about it being unplanned unwanted uh

23:33 there's a lot of suggestions in there it's like you know I I don't in that video especially I don't play the you know hey you could or should have would have stuff that is obviously for people who are not yet in that situation they need to be aware of that but once you're in the situation it doesn't help you to tell you what you should have done or could have done or didn't do it's you're in the situation now how do you move

23:56 forward how do you make the best of that situation and you know you can't financially support it but you may have to you know if if the baby is coming into this world then you know and and maybe you I'll say you you know you throw a Hail Mary what what are the circumstances for her have that conversation if that's what you're trying to do is what are the circumstances for her in which she would not keep the baby if it's that big of a

24:25 deal to you um you know I think you have to you have to come at it very carefully and so um I hope it works out I hope I hope everything's okay and I'm sorry that you're in that situation oh that's That's Heavy that's a heavy one uh that's different just like than my toddler won't eat her peas you know we have these other questions um that's a heavy one and so for uh for anybody else if you've got some

24:54 questions throw them in the chat happy to answer we're on LinkedIn Facebook Twitter YouTube of course and um let us know where you're from I always like to see where you're joining us in from um and then also we have satin from Ukraine which is cool jamco you didn't tell me where you're from but you did tell me I don't understand the posting uh 35 son young um and so you know it's funny on a lot of

25:26 these on a lot of these chats we get a lot of chatter lots of guys chatting whatever and this one everyone's quiet and and Luke you had told me the other day or was it yesterday of how Eerie it is of how quiet everything is um Matt asks evening my girl is three months old and I'm taking her swimming for the first time tomorrow any tips for her first swim well I am well I say I'm

25:53 not a swimmer but I swam for uh uh wow competitively for like eight years when I was young life from age five to you know 13. so and my whole family was swimmers and one of the things I that's that's young I I that's impressive too three months I I think at that point you know that's awesome that you're just gonna get your child you know comfortable with the water you know just getting them in

26:23 the water is wonderful I don't know if I have any specific swim tips other than just being there for comfort and being there you know um take some pictures and video that's going to be a pretty incredible thing if you know your child ends up swimming and or doing anything you know beyond that that's a pretty pretty good moment we have some video of my child my son doing that and it's just awesome it's awesome to look back at it

26:46 and he hated it at first um and he was older he was like two or three years old and we had a pool in the backyard and uh you know it was gated and so there was security around it we just wanted to make sure he was safe and knew how to swim maybe it was younger than that but it was he was he was definitely older than three months but uh praise to you for for doing it that early that's

27:09 awesome I think if uh you see there's some videos online of like the the dad or the instructor like throwing a baby into the pool and then the pool you know the baby just rolling over and then being okay and like learning how to like just lay on their back that's pretty incredible so janeco from Athens good to see you Jose from Oceanside good to see you again welcome back uh it's good to see people return it's it's nice to see

27:39 yeah Matt definitely let us know how it goes that'll be that'll be fun to see like I said take pictures and video you'll you'll enjoy that and um Luke did we have any other any other questions from the uh yeah I can load one in you can load one in for me we've got some questions from the interwebs uh if you guys see you can support the channel go to daduniversity.com support you can become a member get access to

28:08 the courses all of the videos um discussion board I'm occasionally in there too and uh also you can pay what feels good it's one of those things where you can pay what you feel you know what feels good to you that's how we roll and then also if you just want a one-time donation you can do that too but then you don't get access to the uh you know to the courses and everything else

28:40 um some guy named something good to see you welcome from Atlanta right on no I'm glad you enjoy it little girl turning two weeks awesome yes it is amazing how they grow my children are now 14 and 12 and I can't believe it I was with my son last night at the gym and I just can't believe how big and strong and um adult he seems I won't tell him that I don't want to give him an ego but yeah

29:11 he's he's growing like crazy and to see that uh and my daughter too uh she just maturing and you know just just the growing up is is crazy and you know you can kind of remember you know now I look back and I think back of just being able to actually hold them in my arms and now my kids can pick me up you know it's so crazy um Jake I have an 11 month old that gets so

29:43 sick all of the time with daycare how did you cope we actually didn't do daycare um my wife is a nurse and um so she you know well early on before children she was in labor and delivery but then was in a nurse in skin care so she saw people all the time you know tons of people coming in and out and you know same kind of thing you kind of build up an immunity yeah the daycare is

30:08 a that's tough uh because you know you get all of that immunity I mean you get all that exposure and stuff the best I mean I don't know I'm I'm not a a scientist in that way but I think the best thing is just that exposure and they build up that immunity to it you know uh that's one of the things about daycare you know and we didn't we didn't have to deal with it we actually

30:32 it was more cost effective for us um because we were able to do some other things and move things around is that we ended up getting a nanny instead and so you know daycare wasn't an option we had looked at and it just we didn't find anything that worked for us in the area and yeah it ended up my wife was still able to work part-time we had then she was able to you know take certain days

30:58 we had then a nanny in fact we've had the same nanny for 12 years now and so which you know now they now it's just different there's different things I mean now it's just transportation to and from school and and sports and things um but we found that the cost of that ended up being relatively similar the way that we looked at it and um the total the total needs and everything else so I mean if you know if

31:29 that's an option you know even if it's a younger person who's maybe not as expensive unless you're doing daycare for you know if it is a lot less expensive or you're doing it for the socialization or for some other reason but you know socialization and exposure to um all the sickness is part of the deal and a lot of people experience that I I've had some other people talk about that and then of course then the

31:54 children bring it home and everything else just you know maybe find ways to build up that immunity um let them play in the dirt I'm not a scientist like I said so just it's a disclaimer there but uh uh you know build up their immune system yeah I think um Jace is just getting so run down by it yeah I I can see that I I can empathize with that it's it's it is taxing you know it's like you're already dealing

32:22 with an 11 month old and then all of a sudden like dealing with illnesses and stuff it can be a lot uh what I would say maybe the only advice is to have some self-compassion you know recognize that it's totally normal this is the kind of thing that happens you're doing the best that you can you know kind of being okay with it that might be the only like sort of Saving Grace um you know for that

32:52 so Jose asks I noticed that you said you didn't want to give him an ego can you expand on that a bit I just started to work on setting mine aside and it didn't cross my mind until now yeah well I kind of joke because for our kids entire lives um you know we have made our best efforts to build up their self-esteem and it is not by me saying how wonderful or like

33:23 in other words yeah this so here's how it goes building up self-confidence in a child is really really important and the way that we have done this and I have had some videos on this is by saying you know you should be proud of yourself look at what you've done um see how you accomplish that like it's all stuff of showing them what they've done in order

33:55 to achieve or reach or get whatever it is that they've gotten so it's all been internal so rather than me and this is where I was saying of like me saying to you know if I say wow your biceps are so you know muscular or you look so good I probably wouldn't say it in that context I might say wow you know what you've worked really hard it looks like that's that's paid off or something like

34:21 you know it's like trying to connect the dots where the work that they're doing and the result of it is is is what they're doing rather than like praise coming from me and I think that was a little bit of a joke but um I think as far as building your son's ego it isn't you who builds it per se with what you say and and your praise it's having them realize that

34:51 what they did was they're doing and so instead of ego maybe replace it with self-confidence or um or just confidence and so as an example your child gets an A on some project at school instead of saying oh wow you got an A you know I'm so proud of you that's so awesome you got an A you might say how does it feel to get an A you know it sounds it feels pretty good

35:22 did you study for that it's like yeah I studied a lot or yeah you or even just saying Hey do you realize that you did this work you were the one who read the book you were the one who took the test and you got the A and so the way that we build up their ego or self-confidence is by it's by the internal feelings that they have about themselves not coming from us and so that's

35:50 I'm very very aware of that um you know and of course there is occasional praise I I sometimes I joke maybe um but like I mean the other day like same thing I mean we're in the gym and I was just completely impressed by what he was doing and you know I might say something like wow you know you're getting strong you know and and that gives him a little bit of a boost but then of course like all

36:15 younger kids nowadays which we never did and still don't do uh they all Flex in the mirror at the gym so I don't understand it everyone's taking selfies um you know I I see these people that are you know in between sets they're flexing as if they're you know they're gonna get bigger and bigger by the day or by the hour by the minute um so it's just kind of funny but yeah I I think the lesson here is

36:43 boosting their self-confidence by telling them or by by showing them that's by showing them that they did it you know and I give an example sometimes about like you know what a child's climbing up a ladder when they're really little they're climbing at the jungle gym or the you know playground and instead of saying wow I'm so proud of you look you know is that you say look where you just went like you started at here and you just climbed up

37:15 the top of this and now look where you are that's not about you that's not about like your praise that's not about you know you showing them or telling them how wonderful they are like you're getting them to realize that they do these things and they get the reward or they are the ones who benefit from it so that's a long way of saying how I would do that hope that helps if that explains it if it does explain it let me

37:40 know if not I can expand on it more more examples if you have a specific example of something I'm happy to collaborate on that or talk about that um again if you guys have questions throw them in the chat um right on Jose um throw them in the chat let me know where you're from put the questions in there I'd love to hear from you guys again I asked a question earlier but now I see we have new people on

38:07 because we didn't get much of it what is your favorite thing about being a father if you are not yet a father what are you looking forward to the most throw it in the chat I want to hear from you what is it about being a father that you enjoy and um yeah I'd really love to hear that feedback and maybe we'll make a video or something on it about you know what everybody's favorite thing to be you know why why is it great

38:37 to be a father you know and and it's all over the board I mean as I said there's so many different so many different answers to that um Luke did we have another question I'm ready for it jamco says friends and family Jake best part of being a father is a connection that you get that no one else can give you that's very very true

39:08 uh Scott what age is considered a toddler my son turned two last month he's starting to throw more Tantrums but I'm not sure he's understanding what I'm saying what I'm trying to correct his behavior it turns into redirection rather than disciplining at what age is it what age group of the child at is Dad University most effective good question so it's never too early to learn but a lot of the teachings within

39:39 the courses and stuff I mean a lot of the videos here on like on YouTube and stuff are all like baby and newborn stuff because that's what people are that's a lot of what people are looking for but the dad university courses and a lot of the materials I would say is sort of Age Two two three and up and a toddler is from one to three pretty much and you know certainly I you know a one-year-old or even a

40:07 two-year-old you're right they don't necessarily get it yet but it is important for you to get it and for you to learn because it comes really fast and you get that practice and so part of it is understanding you know when you first Implement let's say these techniques and whether it's listening it's uh calming it's patience you know it's all these things all of these take time and they take

40:37 time not only because you become better at it and you've got all these skills but it takes time because the child is learning too you know think about only being on the earth for two years and like your brain is not fully developed like they don't understand emotions they don't understand regulation of their you know emotion they don't understand how to communicate the words they don't even say many words so you have to really check your

41:02 expectations of what you think should happen at that age and I think if there's anything that I would change or maybe one of the biggest things I would change or that I would recognize if I was to go back and do it again and have another child which my wife said no um is to to understand that at two three four whatever it is

41:35 like they're just learning they're not out to get me I can't take this personally that they're not listening like they are just learning about the world they don't understand it so many I mean think about it do you have any adults almost all of us can't regulate our emotions we still don't understand our psychology our history all the stuff that we're dealing with as adults we don't understand why and how to overcome it and everything else imagine what a kid's dealing with

42:06 so I think it's only appropriate that we you know sort of recognize that and so for toddlers age one to three I think you know your child doesn't necessarily totally understand it but you know when a child what a child does understand is love they do understand Comfort they do understand that you're there and your presence and you're listening or you

42:37 know when you're tired when your child gets really really upset and then you get really really upset that doesn't really teach them much you know you're not going to have an opportunity to teach anything and so yeah I think you know even going back and learning all of these new you know techniques and everything else it's like you know when your child is throwing a tantrum they're trying to communicate that's what they're doing they're either saying I don't like this I don't know

43:05 what's going on I don't know how to tell you what I want to feed what I'm feeling or I don't like this but it's like they don't know how to communicate so our job is to help them understand what's going on to love them Comfort them have them feel safe so you know I mean like when in doubt hug your child you know um you know be there and comfort them um you know for a lot of dads

43:36 it's an uncomfortable subject or it's something that's not as it's it's not um it's not innate it's not something that we it's just because of how we're taught it's not something that's like our first response like you know when our child is yelling or our child is getting upset or our child is throwing a tantrum usually our first response is not to go over there and you know get down to their level and put our hand out or to hug them or to do

44:09 whatever that's not our first response our first response is to say hey be quiet go to your room I mean that's for most men I think that that's what happens at least that's what I see that's the reporting back that's what I see you know that's a lot so I think you know part of learning these techniques from age one two and three and that's why we have the courses and it's why we do the videos and everything

44:34 else is you know you're learning stuff that you didn't learn um I was really lucky in that I had Parents that parent did very similar to this not in every way but you know we talked about things and you know my feelings were considered and you know it was a really really Comfort safe environment and so we tried to do the same thing with our kids and that's also what I teach and so part of this too

45:03 it just really helps you you know it helps you I have found in doing all of this in the teachings um my studying and and helping people and everything else that has helped me you know it has helped me be more calm with my children it helps me be more understanding and empathetic it helps me be a better listener and so you know those are all what I think are pretty pretty darn good things and that's a

45:30 result of of doing all this so I um it does make an impact you know it does make an impact and so the group I think if you have a you know one is fine too I mean people who have newborns take the courses and and go through our members um you know the members also have access to all the videos too and then the discussion groups and so you know I think you can do it when you

45:56 are thinking about being a father just to understand it but the the key like age group with some of those courses is definitely like two and three because then it's when you're um you know child can communicate back to you however there are some other parts of the courses like um like work life you know work life Harmony um we have the fatherhood mindset you know these are all things doesn't matter what age your child is you know learning

46:26 appreciation and gratitude and how to communicate it's like that's going to help you with your spouse it's going to help you with your friends it's going to help you with your co-workers like it doesn't matter you know there's there's not an age that matters for that so if you do want to uh check out the courses go to daduniversity.com support that also helps support our Channel you can become a member pay what feels good what kind of deal is that like you don't

46:56 even have to choose you know you don't even have to pay a large amount you get to choose the amount that you want to pay that's how we do it so help support the channel go to daduniversity.com support become a member you can also just do a one-time donation that's very helpful too we appreciate that um you know microphones computers video I don't think people realize I certainly didn't how much goes into

47:26 putting on something like this and putting on these videos we're talking about idea generation scripting recording editing adding in b-rolls the cost of equipment it's like I didn't know what I was getting into it's a lot so any other final questions you have throw them in the chat I'd be happy to answer um I'm pointing when I do that I'm pointing to my monitor that's why I don't know why I just pointed to that

47:58 but uh if you have a question throw it in there and if not do we have another question I think we have more I think we have one more question that we snapped from our Channel or one of our channels we get a lot of questions and so there's usually not a shortage but sometimes during the lives people just like to listen rather than ask questions which I get I understand you know especially if you're at work or

48:27 if you know everything that's the other way all right here it comes all right let's see it can you bring it down there you go oh look at that um so we have I don't want it um what to do with a toddler refuses to eat you have read my mind was searching for this channel for this specific video what do you do

48:57 if they don't eat their food but want snacks instead crisps and chocolates well who wouldn't want crisps chips and snacks and chocolates I I mean I think most people would choose that and so for toddlers part of it is teaching them responsible eating and healthy eating you know one of the rules we had in our house was good food before bad um I am not a licensed nutritionist um there are some things that we may not

49:27 have done perfectly as far as nutrition we have a very healthy house compared to probably many but I think um you know the things that we would do is you know one you either don't have them in the house or you know the other thing too keep in mind with toddlers and younger children is that they don't necessarily love having big meals like we might you know where we might have like a huge lunch or

49:58 a big dinner or whatever A lot of times kids just like to snack and graze during they they're just not they don't have that type of appetite so giving them little snacks can be good so one of the things we've done is you know you make snacks a little bit more enjoyable maybe you have some veggies and you maybe you cut them into different you know shapes and stuff or you know or some fruit or you know you make choices

50:22 of some things that are a little bit healthier than some of the bad things and so you know even fruit is better it has sugar in it but it's better than many of the things you know or some of those you know some of the crisps or I think you probably might from a different area um chips or crackers or something you can finally find some that aren't as bad um but you know you want to give them a

50:47 balanced diet of all kinds of things and and and I think the other thing is too is just not having them in sight you know where they don't if they don't know that those exist if they're you know and it's also rude if you're eating them and then not giving it to them you know I think that that's that's part of the difficulty too sometimes where it's like well no I ate my dinner so I can you

51:07 know and it's like maybe you just shouldn't have it you know a toddler is not understanding that concept so you know if you're going to eat your ice cream sneak it once the child goes to bed you know or whatever I I just I think that that's that's something you've got to do so I think if that's what they want they want it because it's tastier and it's an option and you've done it before so you have to get out of that pattern

51:35 and that can be a difficult pattern to get out of Jake my four-year-old's finally getting out of the Tantrum stage what a miracle uh you helped me out for sure yeah yeah it this I'll tell you the three four five was tough for me and even like sometimes into six we had a lot of whining um you know and I don't know at 2 3 it's when I was sort of learning a lot of this and going

52:04 through all of this and trying to implement things and testing stuff it's like I I didn't have the patience at the time that I would probably have now just because of all the learnings and the teachings and everything um and so yeah it is a tough time it is definitely a tough time of that two three four five and whether it's tantrums and understanding the behavior and all of that and that's why we have these courses these courses are

52:33 um somebody had asked to um what are they based on and it's based on individual psychology so drikers um and uh Adler are famous psychologist a lot of the teachings are based on their things if you've familiar with like positive discipline uh my mentor uh Susie Walden is has like the joy of parenting and redirecting children's behavior and a lot of the themes are very very similar to those and they're all extracted from drikers and

53:05 um you know or at least not all of it but a lot of it is from the psychologists and how they you know there's no reward no punishment um a lot of the positive discipline techniques with uh Dr Jane Nelson who I have an interview with it's just it's incredible it's incredible material and these are people who have seen these types of teachings work from Generations like over and over and over again and they work they just they simply do

53:34 and I can say firsthand it's a lot of how I was brought up it's then me teaching my children uh my wife and I agree on a lot of this and so that's helpful that we're able to you know to bring up children in this way and you know the results are are pretty great you know are there issues sure are we gonna deal with stuff yes but you know the the difficulties seem to be a lot less

54:05 you know or the I shouldn't say maybe the chance of difficulty is a little less it's not that you're you know you're rid of problems or issues or you know your kids are gonna do dumb stuff and you're gonna do dumb stuff and they're gonna make mistakes and you're gonna make mistakes and you know it it part of that is the is the learnings that they go through that and that you go through to you know into then become

54:28 adults and contributing members of society so jamco you've said the word help I'm not sure if you're okay hopefully you are but I don't know what you need me to help you with um but I will be happy to help you if you if you ask a question uh but with that we're coming up on our time here if there's no further questions I just want to say thank you to everybody we will be here next week

54:51 same bat Time same bat channel is that what they say uh three o'clock Pacific time on Tuesday we'll try to send out a notice or something beforehand I think we've been a little bit uh uh I don't know what the words busy preoccupied uh other stuff going on that we maybe haven't done it um Amir had asked how long is the content I'm not sure if you are referring to the courses um but I have

55:23 over 200 videos within the membership you know those videos range from four minutes to 15 minutes um you can use those as you wish and then the courses themselves probably range from about 20 minutes to 40 minutes and there's 12 of those but you can stop and start there's different sections there's all kinds of stuff and so we have hours and hours and hours of content the

55:53 other part is just getting to the point you know I can ramble with the best of them but uh a lot of these just are trying to just get to the point give you specific examples there's also homework Within These courses so that uh you practice what it is that we're talking about uh and so you can go in do the homework and then report back and and with the community and talk about it and so that's something else you can do so

56:18 check it out become a member go to daduniversity.com support check it out it's pay what feels good this is you know you think about the value that you're getting here um I can tell you therapists rehab you know nothing you're going to avoid all these things but therapists rehab and even divorce are a lot more expensive than a dad University membership which is only a couple dollars if you're at the lowest level a couple dollars a month so the same price

56:48 as a cup of coffee in most places you could have access to everything and so that seems like a pretty good deal we've done that on purpose I want people to have access to this it's why I do all these videos it's why I mean I've done 300 something YouTube videos and um yeah it's uh it it it's pretty crazy

57:19 so Jose I think Jose says the best part this of being a father is watching the mold of your knowledge and their interest being shaped into an individual little creature with their mixed features of you and your partner it's insane how reproduction Works absolutely true um yeah that's I I had said something similar it's like when you see you know the things that you do or you're trying to teach them and they all of a sudden

57:42 get it and it's just you know that this is going to help them it's pretty amazing it's pretty it's pretty cool so so with that thank you Jose thank you to everybody Jake thank you guys um we'll be back here next week uh 3 P.M Pacific time on Tuesday hope you guys can all join us if you are watching this in a replay ask those questions because we can still get to them in the next show

58:07 and uh I want to thank everybody again I appreciate every single one of you and uh we will see you next time take care everybody foreign guys I'm excited we've got a diaper bag giveaway this is the Kobe expandable diaper bag really sturdy he's got a lot of pockets it's a very cool bag for the next 50 members who sign up for daduniversity.com as a member we will put you in the drawing to win this diaper bag it's over 139 bucks it's got

58:38 all kinds of cool accessories with it so make your way over to daduniversity.com and pay what feels good to become a member so become a member and get the chance to win this bag go over to daduniversity.com click on become a member and you'll automatically be entered if you're one of the next 50 people to do that have a baby I was so excited I was also in fear because I knew nothing about children or being a father

59:10 so I began learning I took parenting classes did research got certifications and most importantly experience mistakes that I learned from and while there was a lot of information and communities for moms there wasn't many resources for dads and so I decided to take action and began building dad University had University is a one-of-a-kind educational platform for dads to help you achieve your full potential as a

59:43 father we help you go from overwhelmed and Confused to calm and confident father with our courses our videos live broadcasts support forum and more when you become a member you get unlimited access to everything the pricing for our monthly membership is pay what feels good education the community the tools that you will get here are priceless but we also understand that everyone

60:14 values them differently and as such we give you the choice of what you want to pay how much is peace of mind worth to you click on become a member and get started