# The Mental Patterns Keeping You Exhausted

**Creator:** Hi, Fam!
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 1m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds6HAFXuP3E

## Summary

The speaker discusses how negative thought patterns, particularly those affecting women, can be disempowering and lead to feelings of unfairness and overwhelm. While acknowledging that there are truths in these narratives, she emphasizes the importance of examining and reframing our thoughts to shift our perspective on daily responsibilities and challenges.

- Negative thought patterns have been perpetuated for women, often framing them as victims of the patriarchy.
- Common narratives include the idea that women bear an unfair mental load and do all the work.
- These thoughts can create a persistent negative soundtrack that influences our feelings and perceptions of life.
- The speaker argues that suffering does not stem from external responsibilities but from our thoughts about them.
- A shift in perspective can transform feelings of being overwhelmed into gratitude for one's life circumstances.
- It's crucial to discern which narratives apply to our individual lives and to challenge disempowering beliefs.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds6HAFXuP3E&t=0s)
Over the last few decades, we've nurtured and massaged and agitated some really negative thought patterns, especially for women. Okay? Women have been sold a lot of thinking patterns, a lot of mindsets, that I think are very disempowering. Uh the idea that we're all held back by the patriarchy. The idea that women have a harder time. There's a very popular one right now that it's so unfair that women have to do everything. They have the mental load and the work and the parenting and the So So it's so unfair and and and you know, poor women.

[[0:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds6HAFXuP3E&t=30s)
Uh why do women have to do all the work? These ideas, whilst they always have some kernel of truth and there's always something useful about them, when you take them kind of hook, line, and sinker without examining them, without discerning them, without understanding where and how and if they apply in your life, they run a soundtrack in your mind. It's almost like someone's pressed play in the back It's like a the faint sound running in the back of your mind telling you things like life's not fair.

[[1:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds6HAFXuP3E&t=60s)
What if it all goes wrong? You're failing. It's too hard. The system is against you. Right? All of these kind of thoughts Um that cause us to spiral. And I don't think being productive or being a mother or working hard is the source of our suffering. I think it's actually our thoughts. It's our thoughts about those things. Because I know that I can have a day where I'm doing laundry and homework and work and uh you know, chauffeuring back and forth and cooking and cleaning and working out and I'm just like, "Oh my gosh, I do everything around here. No one cares about me. No one sees me. The work I do is thankless. It's all this unpaid labor. Must be nice to be off in the hospital working over there. I'm over here. I'm doing this." Right? I can have a day like that. And I can have the exact same day where I'm like, "Wow, I am so lucky. This is my dream life."