SCREEN TIME STRUGGLES! How to End Screen Time Without Tears: Tips For Screen Time (2020)

0:00 Hi. Hello and welcome back to my channel. If you are new here, I am Dr. Jasmine from themompsychologist.com and if you haven't subscribed yet, you should really subscribe. Join the family. I post new videos every Wednesday and some Fridays. So join the family. Why not? So in today's video, we are going to be talking about ways that you can prevent meltdowns and tantrums after screen time. I'm going to break down common reasons why this happens, some simple tips that you can do to prevent the tantrums, and then a seven step, step by step guide on exactly how to minimize tantrums.

0:41 So let's just get on into it, Okay? So some of the most common reasons why your child has tantrums after screen time is because it's. It literally. Screens are hypnotic. They literally change the brain chemistry and release strong chemicals called dopamine that are a part of the reward centers of your brain. So it's highly rewarding and pleasurable.

1:12 It's actually the same chemical that's released when we use drugs and alcohol. So screens are highly addictive, especially if what they're playing involves a lot of rewards and levels those trigger dopamine releases even more. The other thing to keep in mind is especially for the little ones, the toddlers and the preschoolers, their brain is still developing, right? And a big part of that means that they are gonna have a harder time with transitions and changes, developing their identity.

1:40 They're developing their sense of autonomy. I always talk about this, but it can create a power struggle, right? Because what they want and what you want are two different things. And so they're really at this age struggling for more independence. So here are six quick tips for minimizing tantrums after screen time. The first one is be a positive role model. Right? If you don't really want your child on a lot of screens, then the first thing is to be mindful of how much you consume screens.

2:11 I know, I'm guilty of this too, y'. All. I am really working hard on limiting my screens and a big part of that is putting away my phone, especially when I want to have some one on one connection time with my little ones. Be mindful of how much you consume screens yourself and be a positive role model for them. Another great tip is to set the plan before you even give them the screen. Okay? So what you're going to want to do is let them know before they even turn on their ipod or ipod, their iPad or their tablet what the plan is and to Go to follow that.

2:47 And tip number three would be instead of saying, okay, you can play on this for 30 minutes or an hour or whatever, little ones, they do not have a good concept of time. So you're going to want to use very concrete markers. Like, okay, you can watch two episodes of Daniel the Tiger or you can play until you reach level three and then it's going to be time to turn it off, whatever that is. But give them a concrete marker rather than saying, okay, 30 minutes, 20 minutes.

3:12 They don't really know how long that's going to take. The fourth tip is to set very clear boundaries around screen time. And a big part of that is making it a part of your routine so that your child knows exactly when they can exceed expect screen time. And so a little like disclosure, a little thing that worked for me when I was staying home with the girls is that we would not have screens until late afternoon.

3:36 So morning time was all about outside play, play time, you know, walks, all that kind of stuff. So we wouldn't have screens until the late afternoon when it was time for me to cook dinner and wind down. I was tired getting ready for dinner and bath time and bedtime and all of that. So we would build screens into. And so we kept it very consistent. And that really helped because I knew when with what the plan was and they knew, most importantly, they knew really Jaleel at the time, Jaleah knew when she could expect screens.

4:10 And it was very clear and straightforward. And the fifth and final tip, I think I said six, but I really have five tips. The the fifth and final tip is to avoid using screens as background noise. I am not a fan of that. I'm actually a bigger fan of just playing music in the backgr. I play a lot of Pandora. We love the Buenos Diaz app. It's just or not app. It was a radio station inspired by the song Buenos Dias.

4:39 And so, you know, there's a lot of great radio stations on Pandora as well as Amazon music. We listen to a lot of Baby Shark and you know, all those songs that just get stuck in your head, but we listen to that throughout the day versus putting on TV shows and stuff to be in the background because the end of the day they still have access to the shows. It's still very distracting. They're still going to be going and looking at it from time to time.

5:06 Even if it's not their primary focus, it can be distracting. So I'm a fan of music instead. Okay, so let's get into the six steps. That you're going to want to take before ending screen time to minimize. Prevent tantrums. Okay? And the big overarching theme or goal is to connect with your child before you turn off the screens. Because what happens oftentimes is we're like, okay, no more screens, put it away, it's time for dinner.

5:37 And then they're crying, you're frustrated, you're trying to move on, and they're resisting you on that. And it becomes a power struggle and a big tantrum. So the first step that you're gonna wanna do in this is about three to five minutes before you need them to transition out of screen time. You're gonna wanna sit with them and connect with them. So number two is you're gonna wanna connect with them on what they're watching. Or, okay, so make comments, make observations, join in with them, be fun, maybe ask us a little bit of questions, but really just kind of try to keep it positive.

6:18 Just sit with them, cuddle with them, just use that time to try to connect with them. Okay? And then number three is you're gonna want to make a little bit of a mention, quick, quick and brief mention that the transition is coming up soon. So you can say something like, okay, honey, in a minutes we are gonna get ready for dinner, or in a couple minutes we're gonna go on a walk. This looks so fun and I'm so excited to, you know, whatever you guys have planned next, just get them, warm them up to that idea that a change is coming soon.

6:52 But you don't want to do that before you've connected with them and really shown interest in what they're already doing. Okay? So that's. Step number three is to make a brief mention of the upcoming transition. Step number four is to go back to connection. Okay, so go to those comments, go back to all those warm fuzzy feelings and the connection and all that great stuff. And then for a couple more minutes, step number five is to let them know, okay, it's time to end, it's time to put that away.

7:24 It's time to go to dinner or whatever you guys are doing. And then step number six is to make a plan to watch it again. This is really important. You want to let your child know, okay, after dinner or when we get back from our walk or later today, before whatever it is, make a plan. Let them know when they can expect to watch it again. It might even if it's the next day. Okay, we'll have, we'll have iPad time tomorrow, you know, whatever.

7:50 Remind them of the schedule that you've already built in, ideally speaking, if not, it's never too late to build it into your routine and get very consistent about that. So they know what to expect. And then the final step is to provide them the choice on whether or not they want to turn off the screen or if they need your help. Okay. Because instead of yanking it way or, you know, pulling out the remote and saying, you know, okay, we're done.

8:17 I mean, sometimes we need to do that. But it's really great to get in the habit of allowing them some power and some control over turning off their screens. So for my little ones, I just let them know, okay, it's time to turn off the screen. And I tell them to, you know, here I have my iPad right here because I was just filming. It's time to press the button. Press the button, you know, and my.

8:38 My preschooler, Jaleah, she'll be like, okay, nine times out of ten. Jayla, we're still working on. But you can give the choice. Would you like to turn it off or do you need my help? Basically is the question. And then if they protest, if they start, you know, whining like, yes, you know, it's really sad to end screen time. I know. This was so fun watching this with you. Be positive about it and then just say, okay, you need my help, and you can, you know, gently.

9:05 We're never grabbing stuff out of their hands. We're never doing this out of anger, frustration, ideally. But we can just say, okay, you need my help, and I'll help you. I'll help you turn it off. You haven't already. Check out my two videos. I have a video all about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to screens. And I have another video about my favorite apps and TV shows that promote learning for toddlers and preschoolers.

9:29 So go check out those videos if you haven't already, and I will see you guys in the next one. Bye.