Instead of teaching kids to avoid screens, teach them this!

0:00 so instead of trying to avoid screens teach your kids how to build a healthy relationship with them right how to establish healthy digital habits and routines and the earlier that you start this practice the better right we don't want to wait until our kids are older to start thinking about these things because it's so important to lay a solid foundation when it comes to building healthy digital habits so I'm going to share four very practical ways of how to

0:28 help build a healthy relation relationship with screens in your home and the first tip being to build a very solid routine when it comes to screens rather than allowing your child to have unlimited screen time you should ideally create a solid routine just like you have a routine around sleep and eating hopefully you should have a routine around screen time and it all kind of flows together right I'm not really a fan of having the TV on in the back

0:59 background I'm not judging you if you do it but there's no real start and end time if the TV is just always on right and so I really feel like the root of kids getting disregulated having Tantrums getting upset around screen time is they don't really know when to expect it it's kind of unpredictable in that way and So to avoid all of that and to create a healthy relationship with screens you want to build in a solid

1:27 routine around them right so a solid time during the day and you get to decide what works best for your family and your schedule but a solid time of the day when your child can come to expect screen time so for us it's in the evenings it's that time period in between when they come home from school they've unloaded their backpack they've kind of decompressed they've actually showered we like to do all of that after they get home cuz they're dirty and I

1:54 don't want them on the couch when they're a mess I'm like head on up let's take our showers so we get all that stuff done and then they have their screen time and then we eat dinner and we kind of wind down as a family from there now sometimes I will allow them to have screen time in the mornings it's a little unpredictable I will say when it comes to morning time because ideally we don't in most days we don't have screen

2:18 time but if they have a couple minutes here and there I will allow them to go on their epic app which is a wonderful resource if you don't have it this is not sponsored but it's a app all about books and so they can get read to they can read books independently but I'll say okay you can go on your epic app and read a couple books before we head to school so you get to decide obviously

2:40 what works best for your family but build a routine around those things and remember that you know screams are like the cherry on top right they're the fun thing so ideally your kids get the icky stuff out the way like for us it's go take a shower get dressed get in your pajamas you know get all that stuff done do whatever work you need to do around around the house or what have you and then we have screen time so use that

3:04 when then right when you do XYZ then it'll be time for screens and kind of just build it in a way that works for you and your family so you want to be very intentional about when you allow screens and when you don't so that you can ideally have a family system that flows if you get where I'm going with that so ideally just be intentional about screen time and build a routine around it so one things get get done and

3:30 two your child comes to know and predict when it will be time for screens okay tip number two is to develop as a family a family media plan and what this means is you want to decide as a family where in the house you have screens and where you don't again this is really important to establish when they're young okay you don't want to wait until they're teenage years to be like oh wait hold up we need

3:54 to keep this downstairs right they're going to be like huh what do you mean it's going to throw them off right so you want to ideally Implement these practices the earlier the better now if your child is a teen it's never too late of course but you want to come up with a plan as a family of where screens are watched or viewed or whatever right so ideally they're only in community spaces like downstairs on the couch ideally

4:19 your kids are not in the room unsupervised locked away doing whatever having access to the internet and you don't know what's going on right that's not going to create a health and a safe environment when it comes to screens so I'm really a big fan of creating that boundary right and that limit with your child yes you can be on screens but only down here right where you going you know what I mean and it's not to say they

4:42 never can go in their room with their iPad but you want to create a culture where it's common place that they're downstairs or they're in a some kind of community area where you can keep tabs on them of how they're utilizing technology and again going back with tip number one you also want to create times as a family where there are no screens like at dinner time or family game night or whatever right like we all put our

5:07 screens away I put my screens away you put your screens away and this is our time as a family to connect now of course you can set parental controls to kind of reinforce those boundaries and the times and all of that but ideally you don't want to be setting those controls without having an honest conversation with your child right this is not about secrecy this is not about dominance and control this is about creating a healthy environment in which

5:31 screens are here right and they're here to stay so have these conversations with your child get their input make it collaborative it's not about anybody being in trouble and ooh right it's just hey this is the plan what do you think right this is what I'm thinking what are you thinking is this going to work let's try it out let's do a little trial and error but ideally you create a plan together as a family and then you check

5:55 in regularly is it working is it not and over the years you adjust it as your child grows and develops and things change your routine changes and all of that fun stuff okay tip number three and this is really important you want to make sure that you opt for Quality screen time right not every app episode TV show movie not all things are created equally and so ideally you are very selective about the media that you

6:21 expose your child to and it's a media in which they can be expressive creative learn a new skill you know introduce them to new information engage in self-care or connection with other people I'm not thinking like strangers but like you know FaceTiming with a grandparent or a friend or a cousin or what have you or you know going to apps for you know coping skills and deep breathing or epic and reading books and

6:52 there's a lot of great apps and media out there but just do your research make sure that it's aligned with your child's age and development and above all else is quality right I do have a couple videos on my channel that go through some of my favorite apps and TV shows for toddlers And preschoolers I'll be coming out with another one very soon but just make sure that this quality okay not everything is created equally unfortunately now along those lines tip

7:19 number four is to use media to help your child learn to help them process the information this goes along with tip number three right what becomes a quality experience is ideally and this is not always the case but when we can view these things with our child and help process the information that they're exposed to because a lot of the times kids don't really understand what they're watching right and it's all happening so fast I'm thinking about

7:44 movies and TV shows right they're just watching the flashing lights and the music and it's just kind of going over their head a lot of the times they're not really getting the story line the plot the motives people's feelings what other choices they could have made at that time time and why you know you're not going to do this all of the time but when you can you want to help your child take the information a step forward take

8:08 that information and learn how to apply it or think about it in a different way by asking explorative questions like what do you think they were feeling or what could have been a different way he could have expressed his feeling was that a lie or was that the truth cuz a lot of the times in these stories these characters they love to lie I don't know if you pick that up but I love to point that out oh was that the truth or was

8:31 that a lie H I wonder why he felt the need to tell a lie and then we go through the characters and the plot and the story line right I'm a writer I love a good plot right and I help them understand every good story has a villain right so let's talk about that let's talk about the challenge that the main character is facing and the lesson that they learned you know all of that stuff and you can obviously do this with

8:50 books but a lot of the times when we're watching movies and TV shows kids are not really understanding or processing so try whenever possible whenever it makes sense of course don't do this all the time they're going to get overwhelmed you're going to get overwhelmed but when it makes sense you know take it a step further help them process that information it'll go a long way in helping them apply that to their life and their choices and their

9:12 feelings and all of the things so in summary to help teach your child how to build a healthy relationship with screens you want to one create a very consistent routine when it comes to screens two you want to sit down as a family and create a family media plan where you talk about the areas in the house where you have screens the times where you're screen free parental controls and all of that right you meet regularly as a family and talk about

9:38 these things and you collaborate three be very careful and mindful of this media that you expose your child to do your research make sure that it's aligned with their age and development and four take the information a step further by helping them process the media that they're exposed to by asking them open-ended questions okay I hope that this was helpful again check out my other videos on my channnel about the apps and the TV shows that I recommend

10:04 let me know if you have any screen related questions down in the comments below and I'll see you in the next one [Music] bye