Transcript
0:00 So many of my students come to me telling me that their husbands just take whatever time they need for themselves. If they need time for work or for the gym or for their friends, they just take it at the women's expense. And the woman stands there feeling used, feeling taken for granted, feeling like it's so unfair and it's so patriarchal and how dare he and building resentment towards her partner. He's like a child. Look how selfish and narcissistic he is. Why don't we work on a team? Why doesn't he see me and my needs? Why don't I ever get to do that? But never once does she simply calmly, lovingly, and directly negotiate with her partner on what a Sunday or an evening or a weekend should look like. Rather than blaming him for taking care of himself, it's time to learn from him, to emulate him, and to join him on that self-care quest, on those boundaries, on that protected time that he has around his work or around his sleep. It's time to bring him in as your hero and savior who gives you that time as well, so that you can operate as a loving team. The truth is, you want him to meet his needs. You want him to be fulfilled, to be successful at work, to be healthy in his body, to sleep well. Those wins are your wins as well.
1:19 But it's also true that you need that type of time and nurture as well. So don't take it away from him but instead help him to give that to
Summary
- Women often feel taken for granted when their partners take time for themselves.
- This dynamic can lead to resentment and feelings of unfairness in the relationship.
- Instead of blaming partners, women should negotiate their needs directly and calmly.
- Emulating partners' self-care practices can foster a healthier relationship.
- Both partners should prioritize their own needs for fulfillment and well-being.
- Viewing partners as allies in self-care can enhance teamwork in the relationship.
- Mutual support in personal time can lead to shared successes and happiness.