Stop assuming intent — a cognitive fallacy killing trust

0:00 Her first sentence, let's just go back and and listen to what her first her very first sentence was pretty clear, right? Here's what she said. >> Hey sis, he doesn't like you. >> He doesn't like you. >> That man does not like you at all. So, >> so the very first thing that she does, and here we're going to start, you know, our cultural analysis and and and psychological analysis and really training our eyes. The very first thing that she does is assume intent of this man, right? he assumes what his uh feelings are that he in fact doesn't like his wife, right? And that he's actually what's insinuated here is that he's doing it on purpose, right? That he is trying to get back at her, to annoy her, to make it so that she doesn't ask him again in the future. She soon says that, right, explicitly. But the idea here is that the assumption is that if someone is falling short of our standards, if someone is letting us down, if someone's making a mistake, if someone offers us a nice favor, but then doesn't quite follow through on it, that means they don't like us. And notice that this is a cognitive fallacy called personalizing. Okay? It's when we take things personally. Her assumption, this, let's call her Hellcats because that's what it says on her t-shirt. Um, and it seems kind of fitting for her. Hellcat's assumption is that if someone uh can't, you know, follow through on a task or doesn't do something to our uh to our standards, then the intent that we should assume is that it's personal and that they actually don't like That's