Your Reactions To Your Child Is Harming Them | Relationship Coach @ektadbspeaks

0:00 and when you don't sit with your own emotions when you don't know what's happening in you you don't know how to react to your child and when the child does something you realize that the child is a Dumping Ground whatever discomfort that I have let me just throw it on him so many moms write into us saying that I don't have control over my temper I lose my shirt yeah and the child Bears the brunt with a vack or

0:29 some abuse and let's let's share with the parents that abuse is not only in the form of physical abuse but also verbal and emotional abuse I'm sorry to say but I'm sorry to cut you but silent treatment is one of those okay silent treatment is one of the biggest abuse that you're doing to your kid and you don't know how it's kind of breaking your child right because the only thing that the child is learning right now

0:54 from is from the primary care give up and when the child sees that whenever there is some kind of a discomfort that I've done to my parent my my mom just builds wall yeah and that's when the child learns so when the child grows up into an adult the child learns that if my partner says something which is discomforting to me I stop talking mhm so you see where it's coming from yes yes there's so much of our childhood

1:23 that actually gets reflected in our Parenthood and I also feel that you know I don't know if there's a terminal for this but I also feel there's this this new form of abuse which is which is lack of presence right like I know that you feel that you're with your child but you're absent because you know I was just recently on a flight back from indor and that was the cutest kid and he was just sitting you know on the other

1:50 side of the aisle and and you know he was maybe all of one and a half and he wasn't even asking for the phone but the mother was just just you know and I don't mean to judge but I just want to say that the child all the child needed was not that phone while he was looking into it he was just still looking here and there for somebody to get his attention and then you know I started

2:12 sort of playing with him on the flight and then he was literally like the the seat ahead of me was playing with him the seat behind me was and he was just a very happy child and that or even if you see an elevators right the kids are trying to figure out and there's not one human in the elevator that actually looks the child in the eye yeah even if it's a child in the pram or child in the

2:33 car and I just feel this lack of human interaction is just a different form of abuse because this child is not it is just feeling like nobody's interested in me and I don't know how that feeling is like he doesn't know how to smile or cool back or react because nobody's ever done that with him yeah so how are we going to raise a generation of more conscious parents who are aware that their actions is causing so much harm to

3:03 their child that's actually irreversible yeah so what you said was beautifully summed up it's called conscious parenting where uh parents are becoming extremely conscious of their actions yes which also means that becoming aware of their own emotion yeah one of the drawback that we see is kids not uh parents not being aware of their own emotion yes they try to a lose their temper now for a mother who maybe must have had a lack of sleep a bad sleep uh

3:34 or must be going through some kind of physical discomfort today maybe experiencing a headache as py as that yeah okay or uh might have had some kind of an argument or a discomforting conversation with or something just stressing out at work simple as that and when you don't sit with your own emotions when you don't know what's happening in you you don't know how to react to your child and when the child child does something you realize that

4:01 the child is a Dumping Ground whatever discomfort that I have let me just throw it on him right so a lot of times like in my family I have my nephews and everyone I often speak with them that suppose if my nephew is crying i' be like tell me it's okay to cry but tell me what's happening okay sit with me tell me what is it I mean discuss with me that's the point so when you give

4:26 them the space when you give them that opportunity the point is no one's giving them the opportunity yeah that's the point because imagine you if if no one gives you any any you know importance or opportunity to even discuss something or ask for your opinion you'd be like am I even important yeah am I even needed and I always feel like when you know parents get angry or they lose their or it's something that's stressing out at

4:56 work this is what I typically tell parents is that you know you're always coming from something that you're battling within it's your own inadequacies that you're rubbing off on somebody else and I tell them to sit with it even if it's just the bathroom just sit with it resolve it in your head and then go back and you know come and and share out of and parent out of a more fulfilled version of you then then then coming from a

5:25 place of lack it could even be like you had a really heated conversation uh at work and you know you and and I see this very often which is a lot of parents they're like walking into work walking into homes after work and they're still on the call or they're like hey and you know they're just going like this and then then they quietly go off into the room and I just feel like that is the worst thing that you can do

5:48 because that child has been waiting or that spouse has been waiting for you for all day and it's the worst thing that you can do because you know it's it's it's just not that same amount or yeah it's so transactional and not equal energy exchange right and I always keep telling parents that or or families that you know just wait outside the door finish that call finish in the parking lot sit in your car finish that call and

6:14 when you ring just before you ring that Bell can I take that deep breath switch on the switches yeah and then just walk in with full energy of the next role that you're going to play 100% because then you're just that energy exchange is just so different versus that hey like you know just it just like bugs me so much and and imagine as an adult I'm I'm not somebody who appreciates that so I'm sure the child has no way like you

6:42 mentioned no way to process that and he feels insignificant at that moment and he's obviously feeling that work or the call or everything else is more important in the priority list so I'm assuming he's processing it very very differently for parenting tips interviews recipes conversations with experts DIYs and lots more subscribe to kidstop press now