Is Spanking Your Kid an Effective Way to Discipline? | Dad University

0:00 once your child passes the baby stage you start thinking a little bit more about parenting and discipline you know you try to teach them right from wrong you're trying to get them to listen and you want them to behave in a way that is appropriate in today's video we're going to be answering the question is spanking your kids an effective way to discipline does spanking work we'll find out [Music] if you are new here welcome i'm jason

0:31 kreidman creator of the dad university program i help dads gain more confidence in their parenting learn effective discipline strategies and make stronger connections with their children if you want more videos like this be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple people that might enjoy this please share it with them before we get

0:59 into the video i wanted to let you know about my webinar six proven strategies to be a better father this is a free one-hour class in which i go into detail about what i feel is most important in being a better father be sure to stick around till the end of the video as i'll let you know how you can reserve your spot to the webinar for the purpose of this video when i'm talking about spanking

1:22 i'm really talking about corporal punishment and that's defined as causing pain or discomfort in response to your child's behavior in addition to spanking this might include smacking the child whipping their butt using a belt you know really any physical punishment that is considered there are many types of discipline in fact i'll put a link to another video i did in which i discuss the various types of discipline but for this video i want to dive deeper specifically into

1:53 spanking children and whether physical punishment does what it's intended to do modify children's behavior spanking is usually done to teach the child a lesson you know they may have acted out or did something they were told not to do for example dad tells their child not to hit their sibling they do it anyway so dad provides a spanking so the child learns not to do that another a toddler walks away from dad in the store

2:23 dad gets upset grabs the child smacks their bottom in order to teach them not to walk away or how about the kid that breaks something of dads and lies about it so dad finds out about the lie gives the child a spanking in the hopes that they understand that they shouldn't touch somebody else's things and they shouldn't lie in all of these scenarios the reason the father is spanking the child is that they are trying to modify their

2:50 behavior the father is trying to teach their child that there are consequences for their actions by spanking the father believes that this is the most effective way that they know to modify behavior and teach the child a lesson what if spanking wasn't the most effective way to handle these situations what if there were some alternatives that actually are more effective in modifying behavior now some fathers aren't aware of those alternatives or they simply don't believe that that

3:22 is true ultimately what we want is to modify behavior and teach our children but what if science and research provided information that showed us that spanking wasn't the most effective option would that sway or change your mind about spanking you know i've done some other videos in which i've discussed the topic of discipline and spanking and i always get a lot of comments if you have a belief either way i'd love

3:52 to hear what you think put your feedback in the comment section below we want our child to learn right from wrong to listen to what we say and to have good behavior and the way that we parent is influenced by so many things it's our own experiences and our own upbringing it can be our communities it can be our education on the topic or maybe we listen to experts and see what they have to say what we have found is that kids do not

4:21 need to experience pain in order to learn the american academy of pediatrics which is made up of tens of thousands of doctors that work with children their goal is to attain the optimal physical mental and social well-being of children that is their purpose and here's what they say the american academy of pediatrics recommends that parents do not spank hit slap threaten insult humiliate or shame to discipline their children research has shown that

4:52 striking children yelling at them or shaming can elevate stress hormones and lead to changes in the brain's architecture harsh verbal abuse also is linked to mental health problems in pre-teens and adolescents an argument that i hear a lot from people who support spanking is that it worked for them it made them think before they did the bad behavior again and this might be true as fear can be a deterrent but as studies have shown this kind of

5:22 discipline can lead to problems in the future and there are better alternatives i would also argue that it wasn't the spanking that modified the behavior it was the tens and thousands of hours of parenting love and communication which taught them and modified the behavior spanking a child doesn't teach the child the correct behavior the physical punishment represents a consequence for their actions but doesn't have anything to do with teaching the child the correct

5:54 behavior in the example i gave in which the child hit their sibling the father is trying to teach their child that hitting their sibling is not the way to solve the problem but yet they hit the child in order to solve the problem for the child that walked away from dad in the store the dad is really in fear that something could happen to the child and so he is essentially taking out his fear on the child

6:20 you don't want to make the child responsible for your emotions and the last example where the child broke something of dads and lied the child needs to be educated they either have to ask permission to use something of dads but also not to lie about it when something happens we all make mistakes the difference here when they get in trouble for lying is that the child is simply going to just become a better liar we all make mistakes we need to be

6:48 allowed to make mistakes and then be able to rectify them and fix them those in favor of corporal punishment and spanking typically cite that the child needs to learn the consequences for their actions well in my world of parenting there's really only two types of consequences there's natural consequences and logical consequences we have another video i'll put up somewhere which you can check that out those are the only type of consequences that are acceptable because spanking is

7:19 not a logical consequence or a natural consequence it is not something that neither i nor dad university would ever recommend regardless of the situation dad university teaches many other ways to modify behavior and to teach children the proper ways of doing things physical punishment is simply just not one of those ways here is another prominent organization the american psychological association and here's what they said about this the resolution

7:49 on physical discipline of children by parents adopted by the american psychological association's council of representatives relies on strong and sophisticated longitudinal research that finds physical discipline does not improve behavior and can lead to emotional behavioral and academic problems over time even after race gender and family socioeconomic status have been statistically controlled again this is additional support from experts saying that spanking your child

8:21 is not the best solution if you are trying to decide whether to spank your child or not i urge you to try to find alternatives here at dad university that's what we teach alternatives that can help you discipline your kids when you start from a very early age there's simply no need for physical punishment your child can grow and thrive without the need for spanking what i'd like to offer you is access to my free one hour webinar six proven strategies

8:51 to be a better father i'll put a link in the description below so that you can register and pick a time that works best for you i would love to hear from you what are your thoughts on spanking are you for it are you against it are you undecided leave your feedback in the comment section below if you found this video helpful you don't want to miss what we have for you in our other videos be sure to give this video a thumbs up

9:14 subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell also if you know a couple people that might enjoy this video please share it with them we'll see you next [Music] time