Is your child energetic and chatty at home, but becomes silent at school or in social situations ?

0:00 I recently heard from a parent who described this exact situation. Their child runs around at home, plays actively, talks non-stop, but the moment the child enters a classroom or any outside environment, they become silent. Even young children can experience anxiety about social interactions, especially if they've had some negative experiences in the past. Please respond. Now that we understand some possible reasons for this behavior pattern,Let's talk about strategies to help your child find more balance and confidence in such different environments. Follow your child, trust their mind. Hi, I'm Ankita, blending Montessori, neuroscience, music and positive parenting to help you follow your amazing child from day one to forever. Welcome back to my channel, today we're going to talk about something many parents find puzzling. When a child is energetic, bubbly, talkative, at home, but becomes completely quiet in school or other social settings. I recently heard from a parent who described this exact situation. Their child runs around at home, plays actively, talks non-stop, but the moment the child enters a classroom or any outside environment, they become silent. they won't participate even when they know the answers and unfortunately this has led to them being bullied by other children. If you're experiencing something similar I want you to know you're not alone in this. This behavior pattern is actually quite common. Today we are going to explore why this happens, what can you do to help your child find more balance. First, let's understand why some children show such different behaviours from home and outside environments. Home is where your child feels safest. It's their sanctuary.

2:00 It's where they can truly thrive. They can truly be themselves. They don't have to worry about being judged by anyone. They can 100% show their true colours. At home, with you, their safe space, they know they are unconditionally loved and accepted. This security allows them to release all their energy at home, all their emotions and thoughts freely. Think of it like a pressure valve, where home is where they can let it out. In contrast, school and other social settings can feel unpredictable, sometimes threatening to some children. There are unwritten social rules to navigate, expectations from teachers, potential judgment from peers, unfamiliar faces. Now for a child who is sensitive or naturally cautious, this environment can trigger what psychologists call the freeze response.

2:53 It's one of our basic survival mechanisms. So the freeze response is basically in those olden days when we were hunters and gatherers, if an animal came in front of us, you know, either we wouldfight, flight which is runaway or freeze. So this is an innate response that we have as humans which is still part of our system. So for a lot of children this outside environment can feel like a threat and they go into a freeze situation. Now another thing, your child might also be what we call a high reactor or the child has a sensitive temperament. Some children are simply born more sensitive to their environments. These children often need time to warm up to new situations, to new people. And at home everything is familiar, they don't need this adjustment period. But in new settings, they need time to observe, to feel safe before they can engage.

3:50 And some children struggle with the transition between different environments. Moving from comfort zone of home to the structured setting of a school Actually does require significant mental and emotional shift. Your child might be using all their mental energy just to cope up with the transition, leaving very little capacity for social interaction. And social anxiety could also be another factor. Even young children can experience anxiety about social interactions. Especially if they've had some negative experiences in the past or if they are naturally more introverted now Let me talk about introvert and extrovert the world needs all kinds of people Introvert and extrovert is something we are to an extent born with and the rest really depends on on our environment There is no good temperament. There is no good personality The world needs all kind of people and if your child is introverted or extroverted is not something you want to change about yourIt's something you want to accept about your child. Contrary to popular belief, introversion is not the same as shyness. Introverts can be quite talkative and engaged in comfortable settings, but they find social interactions draining rather than energizing. Now that we understand some possible reasons for this behavior pattern, let's talk about strategies to help your child find more balance and confidence in such different environments. Strategy one, you can create a bridge between home and school. Talk to your child regularly about school in a positive but non-pressuring way. Ask open-ended questions like what was something interesting that happened today rather than why didn't you speak up in class?You know Share stories about your own school experiences that your child can relate to, including times when you felt nervous or unsure. Strategy 2. Arrange small manageable play dates with one or two children from school. This creates a middle ground.

5:54 It's nobody's home and it's not school. So it's a middle ground where children can practice some skills that they need for social interactions. About play dates, you could start with short play dates and gradually increase the time as your child becomes more comfortable. Work with your child's teacher to create opportunities for success. A good teacher can be your greatest ally. Explain your observations about your child's behaviour at home vs. school.

6:27 Ask if the teacher could occasionally call on your child when you know they are prepared with the answer or assign them specialresponsibilities that don't require peeking up in front of the whole class if that is a problem. Role play school scenarios at home. Make your role plays very playful rather than pressuring. You can pretend to be the class teacher or the classmate and have practice conversations or classroom situations. This rehearsal can actually build the child's confidence for the real thing. In Montessori, role play is actually a lot of fun and it's something we do a lot. In school also, in a Montessori school, we set up some situations and we show to the child so the child can learn some skill building.

7:12 So I highly recommend role-playing as a really definitive tool at home. If your child needs to practice situations in school, if your child needs to practice situations in playgrounds, please remember that role play is something that's going to help them. Strategy #5 Teach simple self-regulation techniques. Even young children can learn basic breathing exercises or grounding techniques. You can practice these at home when your child is calm so they can use them when they are feeling overwhelmed at school. Strategy number six consider whether your child might benefit from arriving at school a little bit early or if it's a playground situation then maybe getting to playground before it's already extremely crowded so your child gets a little bit of time to settle down. I highly recommend this to all parents who come to my music classes also, if I see them crying for a couple of classes, that please come in early and settle down and this makes a huge difference because the child is better prepared. Now let's go to strategy number seven. Use storytelling as a tool.

8:18 Share stories about characters who are quiet in new situations but find their voice over time. Books like Chai Charles or Invisible Boy can help children see that they are not alone in these feelings. yeah Build on your child's strengths and interests. If they are passionate about a particular topic or activity, look for ways to connect this to school participation or outdoor participation. A child who is reluctant to speak might be more willing if the topic is something that they love.

8:53 Be patient and avoid labeling. Try not to refer to your child as shy or quiet, especially in front of them. As children often live up to the labels we give them. Labels are very easy to give but they stick so it's very very hard to remove. Remember that always. Instead of labeling them, acknowledge their comfort at home. I notice you have so many interesting things to say when we are at home. Strategy 10 Consult with professionals if needed if your child's quietness at school is causing significant distress or interfering with their learning or social development.

9:30 Consider speaking with a child counsellor or psychologist. Sometimes selective mutism or anxiety disorder where a child is unable to speak in certain situations might also be an underlying issue which can just be determined by a simple diagnosis by a professional. Remember, your child's behaviour makes perfect sense from their perspective. They are not choosing to be quiet at school, to be difficult or to worry you. They are responding to their environment in the way that feels safest to them right now. It is also important to remember that being quiet isn't an inherent problem. Some of the world's most thoughtful, creative and successful people are naturally quiet and something about quiet people, they are very observant. The concern arises when quietness is driven by anxiety or when it prevents a child from participating in an activity where they would enjoy. It could also be a problem when they can't defend themselves from bullying. Speaking of bullying, this requires immediate attention. No child should have to endure bullying. Regardless of their personality or behavior, speak with school staff about the bullying that your child is experiencing. Most schools have an anti bullying policies and can intervene. You might also consider enrolling your child in a social skills group or a confidence building activity like martial arts. As parents, it's natural to worry when we see our children struggling in any way, but try to see this situation as an opportunity to help your child develop resilience. and self-understanding. I would like to talk about a home situation or an apartment situation right now. If bullying is happening at home or in an apartment, the number one thing that you have to do is talk to a responsible adult and teach your child to walk away from that scenario. Sometimes children are scared, they don't report it, they suffer and this can lead to bigger issues. Also let your child know what is acceptable behavior. Help your child to set their own boundaries and remember let your child know what kindness means.

11:46 So when somebody is being unkind to your child your child immediately recognizes it and learns to walk away or to report it to a responsible adult. By supporting them through this challenge you are teaching them that they can face difficult situations and grow from them. Your child's contrasting behavior between home and schoolisn't necessarily something to fix, it's something to understand and it's something to gently guide toward balance.

12:17 The goal isn't to make your child the most talkative student in class, but to help them feel comfortable enough to participate, stand up for themselves and enjoy their time at school. Remember that your home is doing exactly what it should be doing, providing a safe haven where your child can fully express themselves and be themselves. That's a wonderful thing. Now you're helping them gradually extend that feeling of safety and comfort to other environments. Thank you for watching today's video. If you found this helpful, please hit the like button.

12:52 Subscribe to our channel for more parenting guidance and I'd love to hear from you in the comments. Have you ever experienced this situation with your child?What strategies have helped you? Let's support and learn from each other. I will see you in the next video.