Is My Child Normal?

0:00 [Music] hi everyone welcome to a new episode of parenting and you with me Dr chiali whether you have a toddler a preschooler a middle schooler or a teenager how do you know what is normal and what is not normal I have so many parents coming to me saying ah my three-year-old boy is kicking biting screaming only to hear from me hey that could be normal and then so many times I have parents of

0:30 older kids coming to me saying my 17-year-old just sneaked out of the house with his girlfriend I can't believe he betrayed me or that my 13-year-old is trying to watch TV when I told her it was past her TV time and parents get really into a tizzy about it because they don't really know that these things may be developmentally on point these things are part of the growth curve part of the growth process and in fact a lot of it is healthy

1:01 that's what we're going to explore in this episode what's normal and what's not coming up next a mother who's really perplexed because she said she had an angel of a three-year-old but now her four-year-old is displaying such drastically different behaviors she is very worried joining me now is Julie Julie's worried about her four-year-old son's violent Behavior which she feels will get worse in the future she says that he

1:31 kicks and bites and punches on a daily basis hi Julie thank you for being here I can see that you're struggling and having a hard time so tell us a little bit about it hi yeah um so my son Graham he um is the the sweetest most kindest most gentle-hearted boy and then he turned four in May and it's like a switch flipped and I I don't understand my husband and I don't understand what happened because there was nothing going

1:59 on in his life at that time that would have triggered what started prior to him turning four if he had a tantrum it was few and far between it was once every couple of months I could talk him through it I could sit with him through it um but after he turned for if he had like a a tantrum I can't even call it that it's more like an episode like this rage induced episode he would punch and

2:25 it's mostly the punching but it's also anything to to hurt somebody in the vicinity or if he's next to a table or objects he will throw everything off of that table he will throw objects in Anger it it's just got very very violent and it could be the smallest thing that would set him off like things that wouldn't even occur to my husband and I as to be an issue and he would just suddenly lose it and

2:50 lose all control of himself we've had to isolate him in those cases because he's physically hurting myself my husband our dog so we bring him into his room and tell him you know you can come out as soon as you're done being violent um and then he'll throw things at the door you can just hear things hitting the door um and then anywhere from like two minutes to a half hour he'll calm down and he'll come out he'll come out with a smile and

3:17 he'll say I'm feeling better now Mommy and then it's it's like he had to get all of this anger out of his system and then he's suddenly okay but he's so r field in those moments we don't know what to do with it or where it's coming from and I think right after I I contacted you um we had probably the worst day of his entire life from the moment he woke up until he went to bed

3:45 everything set him off everything and by the end of the day my husband and I were looking at each other like completely lost okay so let me ask you does he go to kindergarten pre kindergarten where does he go he starts 4K next week but I'm a stay-at-home mom so he stays at home with me except for two mornings a week for the past year he goes to a monory classroom environment um for a few hours

4:11 and how is he doing there is he is he showing these behaviors there no not at all they would not believe me if they heard this because he only does these behaviors with me and my husband particularly me if he's alone with my husband he doesn't do it but with me it happens and nobody else has ever been witnessed to this because it's just when we're a family well there could be many things going on uh but let me just ask

4:36 you if you had to describe yourself Through The Eyes of your son three words if he was able to give you three words about his mother what would he say about you um I feel like I should have known this kind of question was coming I mean loving I try to give him everything maybe oh this is a tough one pushover is not the right word but just always always there because I am always there and a little bit anxious probably a lot

5:08 you can probably see me shaking right now okay thank you for being honest what would your partner describe you as give me three words your partner would say about you he would probably say those same things and maybe worry too much so you're home all day yeah and when you're home all day and he's home all day are you both around each other all the time yeah for the most part I mean it's it's a normal you trying to take care of

5:34 everything around the house but also you know be with him all throughout the day so yeah we spend an enormous amount of time together and we bed share still so we're literally together yeah I think there lies some of the problem I'm not going to presume I know everything but the sense I got is that when children suddenly start to scream and punch and rage it's a way of them saying I need control back and I'm feeling either

6:03 smothered or suffocated or oppressed he's trying to create some space and that he feels very swamped by you very clamped down by you um I think you are very obsessed by him is he your only child yeah and did you have him a little later like how old are you right now I'm 41 so for you this is like a gift right like you had him later in life and now you're focusing on him yeah I mean for a

6:32 long time we weren't sure we were going to have kids and then we decided to and here he is and I don't see any other kids in our future and so yeah it is all about him well that's the problem I think there's too much obsessive focus on him and you're burning out and he's burning out and he's trying to tell you get me out of here like this is too much uh he's a boy he's got testosterone way

6:55 more than a typical female he needs to be out he needs to be with other boys he needs to be in school he needs to be exploring not Traditional School but play exploratory school out in nature running around but instead he's with a female energy 24/7 and it's too much for him he needs some other kind of energy to get out all this energy out of him and you're trying to calm him down and soothe him with all this emotional talk

7:22 and female energy that's a clash I think he's telling you I'm going crazy like get me out of here I want to be free I think he would do well to be away from you a little bit and you know it's funny that you say that because we purposely tried to have me be away for a couple of days so that he could just have time with my husband and everything and and that went great but most of the time

7:44 it's almost like that Obsession goes both ways he wants me around all the time like he almost it seems to cause him as much anxiety as it causes me to which is we probably feed off of each other to even think about going somewhere without me especially for a night like that's just unheard of you know he doesn't even want to sleep without me so it's like it's this it's this very intense connection no this very intense in meshman there's a

8:10 difference yeah okay okay so you are totally preoccupied with him which is a wonderful thing from the ages of 0er to 3 three and a half now between 4 and 7 he needs to go out a little bit and find his way I'm not talking about 7 hours a day I'm talking about 3 hours a day he needs to practice being with other boys other energy out there playing exhausting himself and you need to really work on your own inment anxiety

8:39 so for example if you were to think about going away for a night with your girlfriends how much anxiety would that cause you um I guess it depends on who would be taking care of if if he's staying with my husband not a lot um if it was the idea of him staying with other relatives or something U an intense amount yeah for sure and do you ever find your partner your husband saying things like just relax you're too

9:05 intense calm down why are you so worried does your husband ever say things like that to you um he has but he usually doesn't say those things because he knows how I would react but he's also pretty intense too so it's like my poor son has these two very intense energies with him all the time which we're not surprised but by most of of what he does except for this real violent stuff this we're just at a loss you know so well I

9:33 think yall are looking at his Outburst as if he's kind of gone a little off the rails I think he's right on track with two very obsessive intense adults over him all the time I'd go crazy wouldn't you yeah okay yeah so is your husband also in his 40s uh he turns 40 next week okay yeah so this is the thing with older parents we lose our youth you know we become kind of more serious and

10:04 children cannot really match with that as well they need either calm and loving and easygoing chilled grandparent kind of energy or they need really young and cutesy and fun and playful energy you are in between you're not yet the wise grandmother energy you're very intense serious 40-year-old energy and you're not the young you know young 30 kind of silly giggly selfs absorbed energy you're actually very seriously focused on him energy and that is very intense

10:35 for a little kid and he's the only one he has these two very serious people on him seriously he's showing you that something is not working and you're saying but I'm so loving well obviously the love is not what the problem is there's something about the intensity that is making his reactions intense so he is saying you know Set Me Free that's the feeling I'm getting so it's worth trying and it's worth trying to get him

11:03 out into more activities separating from you getting into his own room eventually not abandoning him and for mommy to work on her own anxiety you need to start having your own life he cannot be the center of your life in this obsessive way anymore yeah and I struggle with that just because a lot of the times I feel like because there's so much to take care of all the time like I feel the opposite I feel like I'm not there

11:28 for him enough even though I'm there all the time I'm not saying you're on top of him all the time but you're around him all the time and you're available all the time and then you may be distracted so you may not be really present what I'm saying is that the two of you in this very insular environment is not healthy for children children need other children not that they should go to a structured School activity but they need

11:50 to play with other children they need to interact with the world in a safe way with nature they need to be outside more I think you're making him dependent on you in a very subconscious way because you're an anxious person like if you told me I have a full and busy life I'm constantly passionate about other things and then when I'm with him I'm with him fully that's a different energy but what I'm getting the sense from you is that

12:17 you still haven't found your own passions so you're stuck in between taking care of the house and him but you're not really fulfilled either I shouldn't give that impression cuz with my work I'm really fulfilled I stay at home with him but I also right so I'm very deep into that part too so I do feel a struggle between gram between my own work and you know that's its own struggle and maybe I try to overcompensate with graham because I

12:39 feel like when I'm with him I'm still always thinking about everything else that I have to take care of like everybody does you know it's just like as much as I'm there I feel like it's not enough and so I want to try harder right so it's this confused energy it's intense it's constant you may be there but you're not there but then you are there so I think basically what I'm saying is he needs to go play with other

13:03 kids be outside in a safe environment for 3 4 hours a day come back take a nap then you just have evening together and I'm not saying don't be there for him but I am saying he needs some Outlets he needs to express himself Beyond this confine of the house and physical activity for young boys is key he needs to run around like crazy be loud and I'm I'm sure you don't love it when he is

13:30 that at home yeah you're right it's a little bit tears up the house a bit right because he shouldn't be in the house cooped up he should be outside now now it's time try it out and then we'll see I think what we don't realize is how our children Express themselves so young children don't use words right even adults don't use words so children don't know how to say hey I'm feeling suffocated hey I'm feeling frustrated so

13:56 they show it through kicking and biting so the first place we start is to presume he's just expressing frustration now after some changes after a few months if he's still doing that then I would suggest you go see somebody who could help you in a more professional way but for right now let's presume that his quote unquote negative behaviors are a symbol and manifestation of his internal frustration and distress so let's find a way to loosen the pressure

14:25 valve and get him to blow off some steam in a safe way a away from you so that you aren't feeling the burden to be the Entertainer and be the mother and be the household person and be the fixer of the meals you're doing everything it's too much energy put on you I think you need to Outsource a lot more and then when you are with him you'll be more present I do want to ask because some of this

14:49 Behavior most of it's confined to at home but he has these little girls that he's grown up with that he's very comfortable with his his best friends and he has started to exhibit some of that aggressive behavior in his relationships with them like in problem solving cuz you can't problem solve you know so when things aren't going his way he started to hit them and things and like the last thing that I want is for other kids to get hurt correct so what

15:12 you're saying is he is now ready to learn social skills you know so if you sent him to a safe and nurturing and a very kind school not a formal school but like a montauri they will teach them these skills of conflict resolution and problem solving but you too can teach him through role playing and you know this is all very low frustration tolerance which is very common in boys boys kick they pull hair they pinch they

15:40 bite they scream if your boy is doing that he's not abnormal because they are delayed in language compared to girls so they are also very physical so this is your boy this is a boy but but he needs help he needs to express his physical frustration in a different way and he needs the skills so you have now the next phase of childhood coming up 0 to three is one phase 4 to 7 is another phase now we're entering the next phase

16:10 so we need to release him to go out into the world and begin to explore himself in a safe way with other children that's a relief to me to hear you just say that just because like I try not to compare them to other kids but we spend most of his time with other children with little girls and they are very different but he needs to be with with his own boys I'm sorry to talk like in a stereotypical

16:31 way but boys need to be with boys why because they're high intense High physical high energy don't ever compare a little boy to a little girl because you will look at your boy like he's a monster then yes don't ever ever ever he will look like an uncoordinated sloppy clumsy loud boisterous unruly feral wild you know wolf compared to a girl and actually he's also needing to be with other boys now and again I'm not doing a

16:59 gender stereotype I'm just talking about the testosterone level the high energy and physical I don't mean to offend anyone I'm just saying you know boys like to play with boys in the beginning you know and of course he should also have girls as his friends but that testosterone needs to be released and I didn't think that mattered but you're absolutely right like his play with boys is so different and it's so wild and it's so good to see it's just it doesn't

17:26 happen as often because we don't know as many boys as age but we are working on that I think a big part of our confusion is that we are trying to tame the masculine boy and there's so much Beauty in our masculine boys there's so much Beauty in their wild testosterone and we're trying to feminize everybody and The Feminine is beautiful but so is the masculine let him be wild he should be in every sport he wants to be Rough Tumble house you

17:53 know that's what the boy is in his Essence so again people will be offended by what I've said but you know what I'm talking about try it out get out his energy and and then you'll see a difference okay thank you so much for joining thank you that story was quite something because it just reminded me of when my daughter was younger and I would be working at home and thinking that I'm giving everything to my daughter but I

18:18 only later realized that I was actually not being attuned to my daughter and by the age of four and five my daughter too began displaying Restless frustration and I took it personally only later to realize oh she needs to be in a different environment she's fed up of me and my over imposing distracted ways I need her to get her energy out and be with other children and play and be wild in nature and she was feeling

18:48 suffocated in the house and when I pivoted and I put her in a very safe environment for a few hours a day she began to Blossom so children need other children to Blossom they don't need other adults to Blossom besides the parents but they do need to play they do need to get their energy out they do need to be physical and I think when we are taming our children too much by making them be quiet and making them

19:14 stay at home and do home sedentary things it's like their biological DNA especially for males is not wired for that they need to be wild and free children need to be wild and free and we saw that with this mother and I I truly hope that she will begin to Pivot change the environment and I'm sure she's going to see a difference coming up next a mother who is a bit confused about how much freedom is too much freedom for her

19:44 15-year-old joining me now is Ena Ena is struggling with her 15-year-old daughter who she says is lying to her and she's really worried that maybe she's giving her daughter too much Freedom hi Ena welcome tell us what's going on thank you so much for giving me this opportunity I am very very blessed to be here and um I am struggling with setting boundaries and sticking to them so when it comes to my daughter like all my

20:12 rules just fly out of the window and when she breaks a role and she apologizes I tend to forgive her and immediately and move on but however like this results in repeating the same behavior over and over so I don't know what I'm doing wrong I am trying to be the best mom I can be for her she's our only child and uh so I feel like I don't have any room for messing it up okay so

20:43 what is the behavior that bothers you the most one of the biggest thing for me is lying I am catching her like with lying so many times and it could be something really simple and it could be something that could really damage her future and even though I am communicating with her and telling her explaining how some of the consequences could be lifelong seems like it's not daing to her to understand this could be

21:13 really really hurtful for her future people lie because they don't feel safe right you know every time you've lied in your life and every human has lied every single one of us have lied at least a dozen times by the age of 30 right so when have you lied it's when you don't feel safe it's when you feel judged is when you know the other person is going to disapprove correct correct so your daughter is not a liar she lies to

21:42 protect herself so now we have to figure out why does she feel so afraid and why is she engaging in these negative behaviors so what are these behaviors you're talking about that you're so concerned about um so one of the reasons for example is I'm explaining to her uh there are two amazing parks next to us one park is very safe to go and walk it's very family oriented and it's closer to us but there is another park

22:09 that is very close to the main road and some of the humans have been using drugs or alcohol especially when sun goes down and I have been very adamant on explaining that if she goes there and especially if she's alone something could happen to her that I'm not there to save her or just worries me because she has one life and I explained if you want to go for a walk why don't you go to this park it's just right here and

22:36 she knows that I have a loc which she family locators like uh on the phone but she knows that I know that she's going to that Park and she will come back and she's like oh I just walked by it and I know that she did not walk by it she actually went to the park and she chose to do it and I don't know why she tries to have this bad girl title and she just

23:02 likes to break the rules and I really don't understand why and that's where I'm very very lost okay what other things does she do that you're scared about another thing she does like it's her eating habits uh she really likes fast food and I know she's a teenager of course she loves fast food but even though that my husband and I cook every day and we try to make sure we have vegetables and fruit and all those

23:26 colors included in her daily routine when we go to sleep she will choose like Ramen noodles for example and she will eat or mac and cheese and it could be daily routine for her and I even explained honey I understand you can eat 80% healthy food and I get it 20% you know what sometimes I want a chocolate cake absolutely why not who does not want to um eat some junk food but I ask you are growing right now your body is

23:54 developing okay what else and she don't Dash she calls for door Dash what else and with her boyfriend so she likes to sneak out and be with her boyfriend when I like no I don't like this is our time first you should study then you hang out with your boyfriend but it just never happens that way okay so 90% of what you've explained is normal teenage Behavior door Dash is not an issue if it is an issue take your credit card away

24:24 number two eating ramen noodles at night is every teenager number three sneaking out with your boyfriend every teenager so so far I'm not giving you any points the only one I can give you a little bit of credit is the one around the park have you ever followed her to the park to see what she's doing there um no because I'm trying to protect her privacy respect her privacy and I don't do it but that's so silly because on one

24:49 hand you're really afraid right you're really concerned so why don't you at a distance follow her just to see because maybe she's safe maybe she's okay maybe you're making a big deal out of it maybe it is a safe Park and there enough people around and she may be safe so I think you're creating a lot of stress and are you an anxious mother you think I'm a very helicopter Mom I know that it's my issues I do understand it and I

25:20 want to parent her different way I grew up very strict in a very strict home and I feel like because my dad dad was very strict I learned how to be organized how to be disciplined and I feel like I took charge of my future at least I was thinking about it and when I'm noticing that she puts she prioritizes her friendships or her boyfriend be for her future it just despite all her potential how successful she can be in life she

25:51 just throws everything away she just doesn't really care what she will study or who she wants to be I try to give her some room I know she still has few years before she decides which is really hard but just to see some passion and I ask her please just find your passion find something that makes you happy I don't college is not one of the options it's okay for you not to go to college I just

26:14 want you to find something that makes you happy and she will not even give that much thought into it like what makes her happy because she is happy because she's already happy she's probably already chilling you are talking to a 15-year-old my love you know what the problem is you were never allowed to be a wild 15y old oh my gosh that's so true that is very true so you're trying to adulf her you're trying to make her

26:45 an adult she's just being a very regular teenager and you are allowing her to be but you're suffering and making her suffer who were you at 15 were you already on track to becoming something and you were a super good girl and a super student I tried my best because I had to make my dad proud yes but that was your false self right you were making him proud because he was scaring you you were doing it out of fear so

27:11 when you were a 15-year-old what do you remember about your father do you remember feeling afraid of him remember feeling scared to make him upset oh 100% I remember like it was yesterday I was not allowed to get B's it had to be straight A's I was not allowed to go and have a good time because I had to keep the reputation of family and um my skip was always to go to my grandma and she loved me

27:43 unconditionally and uh she just would accept me and hold me and um but every time I did something it was to please my dad and make sure that I was worthy enough and even though um where I'm born men are more valued than women and so many times like I could feel like how many times he would say like oh yeah my boy but oh no she's a girl and but she can do this and it's

28:11 just I felt like I was never good enough that's but I am trying to raise my daughter totally opposite and I have been following your teaching and by communicating and spending quality time with her and uh I keep on telling her that I know I mess up I know you're my only child I don't have a child before you I I don't have younger on so I don't know what I'm going to do and please be

28:36 patient with me and if I mess up something please tell me and with that honesty and taking those walls down I was hoping that you would be that honest with me that if she wants to do something and break the rule at least she would tell me Mom I'm thinking this and I don't like your rules it makes no sense to me but because I don't feel that communication from her I feel bet betrayed and the Betrayal really upsets

29:01 me and it's with door Dash or park or eating unhealthy I could walk through this but it's the Betrayal that when I put so much energy and I'm trying so hard to be the best mom I can be for her so she can be this happy human being but here's the thing my love here's the thing I hear you I see your pain I understand a big problem is you were not a teenager and and that was stolen from

29:29 you so you now are creating very unrealistic rules that anyone is going to break and lie about I would do it if I was living with you so the door Dash is not a rule now if you're scared of people coming into the house tell her not to open the door they can leave it outside no big deal leave it outside wait for the car to go then open the door easy eating ramen noodles either don't have the ramen noodles at home or

29:54 you've got to understand every teenager eats junk food every teenager so there should be a little wiggle room that's that shouldn't be a rule because every kid is going to break it and then feel bad about themselves and walking to a park that's a little dangerous that's normal risky behavior and I told you go see what she's doing but you've given me nothing that is making me feel nervous right now however the thing that is making me

30:22 nervous is that she is lying but that's not because of her that's because you're making too many rules if you create a cage around a person then if that person wants to break free whose fault is it the person who put the cage or the person who is trying to break free so you are putting too many strict rules around your child but let me ask you if you could right now go back to your 15-year-old self what would you tell

30:49 your 15-year-old self to have fun to enjoy life of course and create memories um of course I would tell her that and to be with your friends and don't worry about the future and you don't need to find a passion it will find you and you're too young to think about your future as an adult and be successful right now it's your time to enjoy and I absolutely understand every word you are saying and it makes so much

31:19 sense again my worry just comes to she's in 10th Grade now and she's going to be adult in two and a half years and she's going to be 18 and there's a mom it worries me like what about what what is she going to do will she have a passion this passion word you're using is you've decided that somebody has to find a passion by 18 she is four years in college to figure herself out my

31:46 daughter is 21 she has no passion yet but I'm not worried because passion finds us when we're ready because it's already inside her it just hasn't been revealed but begging someone or hitting them on the head every day have you found your passion have you found your passion is only your anxiety your child is in the moment 15 yearolds are in the moment she's just discovering boys she's just discovering her Freedom she's just discovering her friends that is a huge

32:16 passion right now she is passionate about things but you don't like it yes because I worry about her and I know I should not be worried this much but I do well it's because you were never trusted as a child your father told you what to do how to do it and you never were seen as a full empowered trustworthy human you're not giving this to your daughter your daughter is sensing that you don't look at her as if she's an amazing rock

32:47 star she knows that mommy looks at me as if I'm not yet good enough and you're doing the same thing to her in your attitude toward her not in your behavior not in your strictness not in your rigidity but you're looking at her Through The Eyes of scarcity just like your father looked at you like she's not good enough I need to tell her what to do and you're doing the same thing instead of telling your daughter you

33:13 know what I trust you you're going to figure it out isn't that an empowering message your message to her is oh my goodness you're not going to figure it out what are you going to do what's going to happen my goodness that energy makes me want to shut down andun away too I am so sorry I I see it very different way I thank you so much for showing me that what I I just have one

33:36 more question for you this is something that I'm dealing right now is that uh there is a very nice College Prep in our city that is absolutely free for students who just want to represent diversity and because she's half American half Georgian she was accepted at this program and this program is just to teach her leadership skills just to help her how to bring her uniqueness to it which I think is a beautiful program

34:06 but I feel like I have forced her to go there because she was not interested in that and I like just imagine what an amazing opportunity you have to represent these two amazing countries together and you can be bilingual you can share culture that people do not get to see it and she went for two weeks this summer and she said like I did it because of you Mom I didn't want to do it and this is a program that every

34:33 summer continues until she graduates what would you suggest me for me like should I let her decide what would be for next year what she wants to do or should I keep I guess advising her how amazing this could be for her future well again you're just so focused on the tasks and the future you're missing what I'm trying to say you are not empowering your daughter because you were never trusted you're not trusting her I'm not

35:04 saying to do it or not to do it I'm talking about something more basic your connection your attitude toward her is that she needs to be managed she needs to be on track she needs to do do do you're not connecting with who she is right now and you're coming from a very head place a mind space of I'm so worried I'm so worried I need to fix her I need to manage her I'm I'm terrified

35:28 of what will happen in her future but you're missing the joy of having a teenager she is absolutely growing into her sexuality into her beauty into her body into her knowing and you're taking away her sense of inner knowing by telling her constantly what she should do so the way you're doing it is more wrong than actually what you're doing you're doing it from this scarcity and anxiety and you're disempowering your child children want to be trusted to

35:58 find their way you can give her choices give her two choices that are good enough and let her choose instead of giving her one and making her do it you see the difference so create empowerment you were never trusted as a teenager you don't realize that she's a normal teenager and you're imposing in the same way that your father imposed on you and I'm trying to be as far away from the same parenting what he did well you are

36:22 in many ways you are but you still have that anxiety and control and that rigid traditional way about you so you need to re-evaluate that but you are you're on your way for the most part your daughter sounds like a perfect imperfect teenager thank you so much for joining us today thank you Dr chaali thank you I think one of the hardest things of being a parent is really keeping cool keeping our anxieties under Bay you know I never

36:54 even realized what an anxious person I was till I became became a mother suddenly I was Bloody anxious all the time I used to think I was this calm easygoing chilled person there's nothing like a child to unleash Wild Horses of anxiety inside you the wild beast of panic inside you I think it's natural it's part of raising children and the unpredictability that that brings and every stage is different it's really hard especially if you are doing this

37:24 for the first time or you only have one child that first child is going to get the brunt of your anxiety as we saw with both these mothers but the challenge here and the invitation and the opportunity is to learn to enter the present moment to learn to regulate and calm down to see the abundance rather than the lack to understand that life is lived only in the here and now and to let go our anxiety and panic of the

37:52 whatif of the future and the regret about the past it's living in the time zone of the present that is our best antidote to anxiety if you enjoyed listening to this podcast don't forget to subscribe share it with those you love and I will see you on the next episode of parenting and you with me Dr shaali parenting and you with Dr shaali is for educational and informational purposes only it is not intended as a

38:24 substitute for professional medical psychological psychotherapeutic coaching health care or other qualified professional advice diagnosis or treatment