Transcript
0:00 (graphic swishes) - Do you have any advice for dads who are just getting started? Their wife is pregnant, or they're planning, and they're getting in the head space. What's your advice? - Be patient. (laughs) That's a big one. 'Cause sometimes I'm not patient enough. Be patient. But then the other thing, you know, I think it's one of the things me and my wife were debating on the way over here. You can hold standards and not be an (censored) about it.
0:19 I think some coaches think like "If I'm gonna have these standards I need to be like, (fake yelling) "you didn't do this, you didn't blah, blah blah!" (normal voice) What I could also say like, "listen, here's my standard. You're either gonna meet it or you're not gonna meet it." That's it. I don't gotta be- I'm not even gonna be mean to you. You- here's my standard. Meet it or don't. Do you wanna be a member of this team or not?
0:41 You know what I'm saying? Like I can say that and do that with a lot of my athletes. And you know, the same thing with my kids is like, I'm not going to yell and scream, every once in a while I'll raise my voice, if say they're not moving fast enough or my wife has asked them to do something three times, they don't do it, then I'm like freaking- "No, you're not listening to your mother. You need to do what she's asking."
0:57 Right? But at the same time it can be like, "Guys, here's our standards." Whether it's clean up your room whether it's you're not gonna tell a lie, whatever it is here is our standards and I would say be inflexible on what your standards are. If someone's showing you wrestling that you're a quitter, everyone else knows you're a quitter and they're gonna try to make you quit. And so like I can really remember, Alex is our first child.
1:22 She was very headstrong. She still is very headstrong. I remember this one thing, I don't even recall what she wanted but she was having a tantrum, when this, she's probably a year and a half to two years we'll say somewhere in there. And she's having this tantrum and most parents at some point would give up and say you can have whatever the thing is that you want, right? And it's like- - She's gonna know. - I will not give up.
1:43 "You, Alex," this is two year old Alex, "You're gonna lose. I will not quit this." You know, there are standards, you're violating whatever standard is said, and I'm not gonna quit. And then once they know that once they know you are inflexible they're not gonna bother anymore. And you don't have to be a butthole about it. But then if you've shown to be flexible and you've shown that your kids are gonna get one over on you, and you show that you're gonna be the quitter, why would you ever expect them to think anything else is gonna happen?
2:11 So then when they keep- when when you've let them in, and then they keep pushing on some issue because the last time you let 'em have their way what do you think is gonna happen? They're gonna keep pushing and they're gonna keep pushing and they're gonna keep pressing the boundaries and they think you're gonna be the one who's gonna fold. But once you show your kids, and this- my kids all (laughs) once I show I am not gonna bend on this.
2:29 This is the standard that's gonna be, and I don't have to be mean about it. I'm gonna say this is the standard. - Yeah, that's great advice. (graphic swishes)
Summary
- Be patient as you navigate parenting challenges.
- Establish clear standards for behavior and expectations.
- Communicate standards calmly rather than through yelling or anger.
- Consistency is key; do not waver on established standards.
- Children will test boundaries; staying firm helps them learn limits.
- Flexibility can lead to kids pushing boundaries; be resolute.
- Maintain a respectful approach while enforcing standards.