# Hey Guys, Dr. Drew Wants You To Think About Therapy | Clips | Dad Saves America

**Creator:** Dad Saves America
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 4m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo

## Summary

The discussion centers on the stigma surrounding therapy, particularly for men, and the importance of seeking help for mental health issues. The speaker shares personal experiences and emphasizes that therapy can be a transformative process that allows individuals to better support themselves and others.

- Many men feel discomfort with therapy due to societal perceptions of weakness.
- Cultural factors, especially in immigrant communities, contribute to resistance to mental health services.
- Therapy is often seen as a last resort, with many men only seeking help when prompted by partners or significant life events.
- Personal anecdotes highlight the transformative power of therapy, even for those who are high-functioning.
- Therapy is described as a painless process that respects individual comfort levels.
- The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing anxiety and emotional struggles.
- Seeking therapy can lead to improved emotional presence and support for loved ones.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=0s)
- I think this is especially true for men, probably for everybody,
but especially for men. Help me understand why I should not have
discomfort with therapy. Is it like, "Oh, that's for weak people," or there can be a lot of
resistance to getting therapy. - Oh my God, yes. A, the woman that drove me over here, just today, was from Nicaragua, and she was sort of a
mental health person, and she was saying how impossible it is to get Hispanic cultures to accept mental health services.
- Because you're a girly man, we handle it.

[[0:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=31s)
- The church handles it,
the family handles it. We don't share our problems.
That kind of thing. And I think in America particularly, that it's an immigrant issue. People that come here have a lot of trauma and are interested in
getting ahead and that's it. And so any signs of
weakness or anything else, we just work harder,
you know, just forge on. So we generally, in this
country, have a problem like that and have a history of that.

[[0:55]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=55s)
Men, we hate asking for directions, of course we're gonna
hate asking for therapy. Of course it's really hard for us to admit that we need help to anybody. - So man-to-man make the case.
- Yeah. - Make the case for therapy. What is it? How does it even work? What's it do? - It depends. Well, there's different kinds of therapy for different situations. I had very intensive,
emotionally-focused therapy, and it was the greatest thing I ever did.

[[1:15]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=75s)
And jeez, it built an emotional landscape that allowed me to be
present for other people in ways that was just so
rewarding and so effective. I can't speak highly
enough of the process. It's painless. It doesn't hurt. You only do what's tolerable
in therapy, you know. They don't force you into
things that are miserable, that's just re-traumatizes you, particularly if you have a
trauma background like I do. It does though, take
usually our female partners. I'm guessing with gay men, that male partners would
have the same impact.

[[1:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=105s)
You need your partner to get you in. I can only tell you that, you know, when it comes to my medical practice, the wives are always dragging the men in. The men are not coming on their own, ever, except when they're like over 75 years now and sort of used to it. (laughs) They're much older and they have lots of problems.
- Oh, my grandfather was a doctor, and he didn't
want to go get treated for that.

[[2:03]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=123s)
- That's (blows raspberry). I will tell you my story. You know, we have triplets, which was an incredible experience. And one year in, one of
them had an arachnoid cyst that needed neurosurgery, a brain surgery. My anxiety went crazy. I was a workaholic. I had all this stuff, and I had my preexisting mood stuff, and my other generalizing
anxiety disorder. I was a mess. But I was succeeding at everything, through sheer grit, you know. And my wife called me at work, 'cause of course I was never home, and she goes, "You need
to see a therapist."

[[2:33]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=153s)
This is like 1993, something like that. And I was like, "Yeah, I've been working
at the psych hospital for eight years, of course
I wanna see a therapist, I'm ready to go. I've been thinking about
that forever. I wanna..." And she just... Well, she went, "No," like that. Like, the hair stood up in
the back of my... (chuckles) She goes, "Right now. Right now. I'm serious." And literally, I've never had the hair stand up quite so intensely on the back of my neck. (laughs) There's that moment.
- Yeah.

[[2:56]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=176s)
- And I said, "Got it." I put the phone down, I called a friend, I said, "I need referral right now." And that's when I went. And I'm not sure when I would've gotten. I would've gotten there eventually, but had she not with that... Incredible, it takes my breath away now. The clarity when she approached, (laughs) I'm so grateful for it. I'm getting a little emotional because I'm sure that wasn't easy for her, but, you know, I threw all my (censored) just to cut through it all and just go, "I mean it." (laughs) - Did you ask her what was it about that exact moment in time, where she felt the clarion
call to say like, "I gotta...

[[3:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=208s)
I have to intervene.
- I knew my anxiety around my son's brain
surgery was outta control. I just knew it was terrible. And she's the kind of
person that gets affected by the anxiety people
around her and I got it. I knew it was affecting her, and I knew I was maniac. I was in denial about the
effect I was having on everybody 'cause I was so high functioning. I was, you know, running
programs, and really it affects me as a doctor.
- I'm doing great.

[[3:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=229s)
- I was doing great, not so much when I got
home, if I ever got home. You know, I'd struggle getting
home at 10:00 at night. And she thought maybe that
wasn't such a smart thing too, with a bunch of kids at home. - If you enjoyed this clip, we've got more where that came from. Be sure to check out my full
conversation with Dr. Drew. And one of the best ways
you can help support us is to subscribe to the channel, so you won't miss our interviews and short videos as
they come out each week.

[[4:11]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL_K_vqsIHo&t=251s)
(logo whooshing)
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