# Healing Trauma - This Teacher Changes A Child's Story With ONE Moment Of Connection **Creator:** Conscious Discipline **Platform:** youtube **Duration:** 6m **Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw ## Summary The speaker shares their journey into teaching, motivated by negative experiences with teachers in their own childhood. They emphasize the importance of connection and understanding in the classroom, particularly through the lens of "conscious discipline," which has transformed their approach to student interactions and behavior management. - The speaker's negative experiences with teachers fueled their desire to become an understanding educator. - A pivotal moment in high school led to a positive connection with a teacher, highlighting the importance of relationships in education. - "Conscious discipline" is introduced as a key framework that fosters emotional connections in the classroom. - The speaker recounts a challenging student, Gracie, who exhibited destructive behavior due to underlying trauma. - Building a relationship with Gracie allowed her to express her need for help, showcasing the power of trust and communication. - The speaker emphasizes that negative behaviors often signal a lack of skills rather than inherent badness. - Conscious discipline provided the tools necessary to support students like Gracie, ultimately changing their life trajectory for the better. ## Transcript [[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=0s) so I got into teaching because I didn't like teachers so when I was in sixth grade I needed to go to the bathroom and I asked the teacher and he made this huge deal because in sixth grade he have [[0:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=31s) like forty minute class at times and you're supposed to go in between class period for the only of three minutes and he shamed me in front of the class and said I had to give three reasons why I needed to go to the bathroom and then in front of the whole class he was like well unless you're having women issues so that has stuck with me when I pushed all that stuff in it was all that energy [[0:53]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=53s) was going around in my stomach and I felt that anxiety I was just kind of shoving pushing it down and not feeling my emotions and that would be it would be overwhelming because I wasn't able to release any of that and then I was told that feeling wasn't okay I was taught at a per or I took all my pens apart and I put them all back together I didn't understand what was wrong with me I [[1:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=81s) wanted to be a teacher that could understand those kids and make their lives have a different experience than I did [Music] I didn't find a teacher that I connected with until I was in high school and when I did I was a completely different person like I didn't get good grades I [[1:53]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=113s) didn't want to get good grades I didn't care but I got an A in her class and she was the best teacher because she made a connection with me and she we had a relationship now having the skills that I have with conscious discipline I understand why that worked I first came to conscious discipline I'm in college for my student teaching I was placed with it you go through all the rooms and you connect with the teachers and I got [[2:19]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=139s) into one classroom it was probably 10 minutes and I was like ahh like you can feel it you can you walk and you walk in the classrooms and you feel energy I didn't know what she was doing and and I we talked about it and she said it's conscious discipline that was just my big aha like this is legit ever since I've used it ever since over the last three years I've been using conscious discipline and I know why students are [[2:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=168s) successful it has nothing to do with curriculum and has nothing to do with the teacher it has everything to do with connection [Music] I need to tell you about Gracie and Gracie is a student that I learned about before I even matter [[3:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=198s) Gracie K through four had a history of destroying the classroom flipping the nest screaming kicking the teacher hurting the teacher most kids don't have any papers this child came with all these things that I need to do in order to make sure that she doesn't explode she had a lot of issues outside of school as well she would run away a home run away from home she got arrested a couple of times and she was just really [[3:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=225s) struggling she was quiet and we did the things that we usually do in the beginning of the year trying to get to know each other and establish that those first connections one day she got into a fight at recess and I was like you know Gracie why don't we have lunch together and this was right after recess and she was completely shut down and so she got her lunch brought it into my room and I started just eating my lunch [[4:07]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=247s) because at this point she was not ready to talk and then eventually she popped her head up and we started talking and we started talking about the things that we like to do and I have dogs and she loves dogs and so we had that relationship established the next morning I'm in my classroom and I get a buzz and they said Gracie wants to come see you so she came down to my classroom and she told me she had to tell me [[4:33]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=273s) something I was like okay and she just really started crying and so then I was just waiting for her wishing her well and waiting for her to be ready and I was like what do you need to tell me honey she showed me her arms and she had peruses all over them and she said I need help and so we talked and we talked she was being physically and just emotionally abused her whole life and so all of those desk [[5:05]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=305s) flipping moments vandalism all those things were saying help me and so I'm so thankful for that little fight at recess when we talked and we talked and we built a connection so that she thought and she knew she could come and tell me her story what used to happen is she would get labeled as the bad kid and get pushed into a room all by herself and so she's just gonna destroy it she didn't have the skills to say help me and so [[5:34]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUBzzasDgVw&t=334s) she used what she could and she used what she was taught I wouldn't have had the tools to help her without the skills that conscious discipline taught me about rage about violence about crying for help negative behavior there's a missing skill and you got to figure out what that is conscious discipline changed her story and now she's going to have a happier ending than what [Music]