Queen Energy in Parenting

0:00 What does a lioness do with her cubs? They're roughousing. They're running around. They're they're climbing all over her. What's she doing? Is she all up in their business? Is she getting triggered? Is she getting all into it? No. She's lying on the rock in the sun like totally relaxed. She's on her throne. Okay. She's unbother. They can't get to her. They can't upset her. She's chill. Now, will she get involved if they're in danger? If they're doing something really Yes, she will. She'll snap. She'll do something about it. But she's not all activated all the time.

0:30 She maintains and uh she saves her energy for real crisis. And that's what I want. So I imagine myself as a lioness. That could be your alter ego. Maybe it's a queen. Like a queen sits back on her throne. Like dude, I'm not I love you my children. I love you very much, but I'm an adult. I have a prefrontal cortex fully developed. I have life experience. I have legal um actual like responsibilities and uh I'm not going to get down in this business of toddler level. I'm not going to behave like a 2-year-old. I'm not going to get enraged. I'm not going to get all activated because I'm chill. And what you want to do is you want to identify that person. Okay? Because self-control really fails for many of us. Like don't do it, don't yell, just calm down. Stop. DROP. [clears throat] BREATHE. COUNT TO 10. TAKE A BREAK. All of that yelling at yourself to to control yourself, it's sometimes too late. It sometimes doesn't work. But what does work is entering into a situation with a whole new persona. And you might have to fake it till you make it. You might have to act a little bit.

1:35 But you want to pick that micro behavior that she would do. What would she do? Okay. What would she do? Would she talk slowly? Would she sit back and relax? Would she talk in a low tone of voice? Would her shoulders be dropped?