Being conscious not to teach children to constantly seek approval

0:03 most of us parents thrive on our children seeking our approval now on the surface that seems nothing wrong with us it seems the way to be children should seek their parents approval but there's a hidden danger here and the danger is this when we prime our children and raise them with the awareness with the training with the understanding that they need to constantly look outside of themselves be it the parent be the teacher for a sense of validation worth value meaning

0:32 purpose this is where the child's radar in a radar gets distorted and they lose the ability to gauge and be their own inner determiner of where they need to go in life they begin to depend on this on the external validation now as parents who are traditional in their approach and who like to feel superior and powerful and dominant and in control we love that kid who wants to please us all of us wants that kid who pleases but

1:00 what we are doing in essence is raising a mini-me a robot a minion a subject and we're doing the child with disservice so while it eases the parental tension and it creates a much easier life for the parent we're really teaching our child to be divorced from their inner knowing and when they grow up they were flail in life they will flounder not knowing how it is to suffer the the not understanding the self to suffer that

1:27 you know we parents rush in and try to fix it for our children and provide the solution and give them the label you are this you will be this and give them judgments you are good you are bad but let the child suffer the discovery of that on their own that child who does that and goes through that process on their own will grow up to be a child who's much more resolute in the long run