Transcript
0:00 What we need to start understanding is that the standard can stay, but the resentment needs to go. The stories about it need to go. Okay? What I make it mean, right? What am I attaching to it? Am I expecting them to do it exactly like me? You didn't do it exactly like me. You didn't do it the way I asked you to do it. That means something. That means you don't care about me. That means you don't respect me. That means you take me for granted.
0:24 I feel hard done, but I feel let down. I feel annoyed. I feel aggravated, irritated, upset. I rate in fact, right? And then we get into a character attack. We assassinate the person's character. You're lazy. You're incompetent. You're cruel. You're mean. You're selfish. You're a narcissist. You're gaslighting. We start all those labels. We start all the pathizing. So, the step one is to keep the standard. No, I just want you to do the errand. I'm keeping that standard, but I'm going to drop all of this incredible baggage that goes along with it. this big story that I made it mean. Okay, you ready to do that? You ready to drop that story? That story is what's toxic, not the person. The person isn't toxic. The person's human. They made a mistake. That story of what you make it mean becomes really really toxic.
Summary
- Resentment and negative stories about others' actions need to be released.
- It's crucial to distinguish between maintaining standards and personal emotional responses.
- Misinterpretations of others' actions can lead to feelings of disrespect and annoyance.
- Character attacks often arise from unmet expectations and personal frustrations.
- The focus should be on the action itself, rather than labeling the person negatively.
- Mistakes are a part of being human; the narrative around them can be what is truly toxic.
- Dropping the toxic stories allows for healthier interactions and relationships.