“I Had No Choice”

0:00 Feeling permanently hard done by is not empowerment. It is the opposite. If you want to stop the spiral, the thing that we need to stop in the long term for your mental health and strength is victim mindset. That is exactly what I teach inside of Alchemize. You will come out of Alchemize feeling completely un-victimized, empowered, capable, like no sweat, cool as a cucumber. Because victim mindset is the enemy of empowerment, okay? And that idea of being superwoman or being a martyr, it sounds like feminism, but it's really just exhaustion and burnout dressed up as feminism.

0:43 It's a lie. You don't need to just be superwoman or be the bitter martyr. Those aren't your only choices. And those are born of feeling like I have no choice. Well, it was just obvious that I was going to be the primary parent. Well, it was just obvious that I was going to be the one up with the baby. It just happened that I was home with the toddlers. It just happened that I made sacrifices to my career while he moved ahead with his.

1:07 It's just kind of fallen into place that I'm the one who manages the entire household and I do all the cooking and cleaning and the laundry and I also do all the birthday parties and all of the shopping. And so it's just kind of happened to me. I'm a victim. It just I just Everyone just took me for granted. It just is how it is. He just can't do it. He never did it. He never tried, right? And if you don't have a partner, then even more so, right? The feeling of oh, it's just it's all on me. It just happened to me.

1:34 There was no other choice. There's nothing I could do. But the more we tell ourselves everything depends on me and I have no choice, the more invisible we feel. The more disempowered we feel. And here's the truth that I had to face. The truth that I had to face was yes, I do have a choice. Yes, I have made choices.