I Wish Harrison Butker Gave My Commencement Address

0:00 but it cannot be overstated that all of My Success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith become my wife and embrace one of the most important titles of all Homemaker I have to compose myself for a little bit so I find that deeply moving um because uh there's a man that loves his

0:30 wife once again I'm back in my office to try to make sense of the week yesterday was my son's last day functionally of high school and that's um I'm going to try not to become like a blubbery mess as just even talking about that but that's what we're in we're in graduation time the graduation speech that I think is making the most news Harrison Butter's speech at Benedictine College I'm Catholic so this is going to be

0:57 interesting while Co might have played a large role throughout your formative years it is not unique bad policies and poor leadership have negatively impacted major life issues things like abortion IVF surrogacy euthanasia as well as a growing support for degenerate cultural values in media all stem from the pervasiveness of disorder all right so first two minutes we're off to a spicy start right I'm not going to get into every one of the things he's railing against

1:28 here I think it's important to note though he's a Catholic like me and he's speaking at a Catholic College I'm not hearing any booze I'm going to jump ahead because I think uh we get to the spicier stuff a little later for the ladies present today congratulations on an amazing accomplishment you should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives I want to speak directly to you briefly because I

1:55 think it is you the women who have had the most diabolical lies told to you how many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world but I would venture to Guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world

2:17 I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother I'm on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me but it cannot be overstated that all of My Success is made possible because a girl I met in

2:44 band class back in middle school would convert to the faith become my wife and embrace one of the most important titles of all homemaker [Applause] there's a man that loves his wife there's a man that um is so moved by talking about the woman who he's known for years the woman that's his

3:15 partner in all things that he can't help it like like me I see him uh I feel that cuz I I married the love of my life um not my high school sweetheart we actually met at work um me and Lisa at Nickelodeon and I wouldn't be here today I wouldn't be the man I am without my wife without my relationship with Lisa I don't even think I can Define what it means to be a man distinct from my

3:42 relationship to my wife and my role as a husband and a father and so I think the thing that's so difficult is we are in a world where what it means to be a man what it means to have healthy masculinity to the extent anyone even attempts to Define that is getting harder and harder to look for and to look to in terms of mentors and in terms of um people that model that model what that should and

4:09 could look like give us a a vision as men and and as women for for this relationship and so it's obvious that there's all kinds of people that are going to take exception with the fact how dare he suggest that perhaps a majority of the women who've graduated from the school might ultimately find their most happy role in motherhood but okay I guess you know how do I think about this if I want to take a step back

4:39 on a personal level I saw this transformation happen with my wife my wife 6 and a half years older than me she had already had like a lot of adult experience by the time we met and and certainly by the time um we got married and our son was born and I loved that because I was kind of an old soul and she was super mature she knew who she was she knew what she wanted out of life

5:01 so that was fantastic I've learned a lot about what it means to um to to be more assertive more forceful person from my wife so so the gender rle stuff here I don't really care about at all and what he's talking about is correct because our family lives for most of us will be the things that bring us the most fulfillment the most Joy the most sense of purpose of meaning um of enrichment and that's all he's saying here and he's

5:32 and he's modeling love very very humbly for all to see even though the broader speech is fairly judgmental he's he's a conservative Catholic but you know to say that celebrating the path that is now the one never advocated for in our culture is somehow oppressive is to just fundamentally misunderstand what it means to have Choice my wife had a powerful career she produced for for Nickelodeon she traveled the world and

6:04 and when my son was born she ultimately decided she wanted to stay and be with him she was transformed as was I by his birth and frankly I had a very similar thing happened for the first 6 months after my son was born work lost all its flavor it just felt inconsequential in comparison to the miracle of my son's birth when my wife said I can't go back I have to stay with Mato I have to stay

6:30 home that was a lot of pressure to be on especially like having an apartment in in Hoboken and working in New York City and that was difficult decisions that both of us made I think my son benefited for it my wife doesn't regret it for a second and here's the other funny thing here we are and my son's 19 and he's about to graduate from high school and along that path okay and this is my message for you if you're watching and

7:02 you're a new graduate and you're a woman and you're and you're smart and you're a go-getter and you're assertive you're and you're my wife you're my future wife you're you're Lisa you know a Powerhouse you you have all the choices in the world as well you should and and we should all be glad for that and you need to decide what you want to do and you should listen and take into account all these different perspectives that's

7:30 what real inclusion would be here's a conservative Catholic who loves his wife who's offering a message you can take it or leave it that's up to you there's people who say no family is a oppressive institution and a patriarchy and blah blah blah I think that's mostly bull but you have to take that into consideration too you have to see how far you want to go in your career do you want to be working 100 hours a week to make high

7:56 six figures and advance to be the partner in a law firm we can kind of all have it all but there's trade-offs along every choice we make and I think to be an adult is to navigate this world of challenges and tradeoffs knowing that we're going to keep making new choices along the way we've got a whole life you have an entire life ahead of you so you can start in your career you can marry the

8:22 person that hopefully makes you a better person hopefully brings out the best in you that shares your values that's frankly the only thing I currently tell my son is find a woman that shares your values and when you're ready marry her and make her your partner in life everything else will work itself out cuz he's smart he's got us back in him up I'm not going to back him up financially until the end of the universe he's got

8:49 to go off and be an independent adult Independence is part of what it means to be an adult it's part of what it means to graduate from college and go out there into the world frankly you know this this notion of adulthood has been lost but these graduations are important moments even if college is often a scam this is an important moment for these kids and they aren't kids anymore they're in their 20s they're adults this is the time for us to try to

9:19 understand the next steps and to realize that the rest of your life is one step in front of the other and he's offering a One path you don't have have to take it that's what's living in a free Society is all about getting all up in arms how dare he or the the way the NFL the NFL felt it important to respond and say well he's speaking for himself but we stand by our inclusion policies which right below the

9:46 surface of that inclusion today is buzzwords for we stand for never making anyone uncomfortable that's politically inconvenient right that's what inclusion actually means let's let let's keep watching let's see what else he's got to say she's a primary educator to our children she's the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father she is the person that knows me best at my core and it is through our

10:11 marriage that Lord willing we will both attain salvation I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true but if you ask her today if she has any regrets on her decision she would laugh out loud without hesitation and say heck

10:37 no so that's obviously real hard to hear right my wife's dream of having a career didn't come true but she wouldn't change it for the world and how dare he speak on her behalf as a man we all have dreams and it's good to pursue them and and we all give many of them up along the way because we don't get to be everything we want that's one of the lessons I've always told something like you don't

11:00 actually the world isn't fair the world doesn't have a mind outside of a Divine notion that cares about how your life goes like you have to make your life for yourself and you're going to make choices that are going to present tradeoffs I can go here or I can go here this road goes this way and diverges from this road and maybe I get down here and I say oh I want to go this way but

11:23 you're going to have to do it you're going to have to make those choices I think it's completely reasonable to to to read read this with with a lot of Charity and to say as someone who's experienced this secondhand by way of watching my wife she wouldn't change her path for anything in the world either neither would I for that matter because there's decisions we all make I prioritized time with my son it's why we moved to Austin so that I could have

11:52 more time with my family and so I think we have to make these choices all along the way and there are tradeoffs and I think that that's a important lesson to learn I think frankly most of the kids that graduate from Benedictine College have heard all this before I I don't think we should be so shocked and horrified that this is a message that is coming out of this commencement I pray that I always use my voice for God and

12:13 not for myself everything I am saying to you is not from a place of wisdom but rather a place of experience I am hopeful that these words will be seen as those from a man not much older than you who feels it is imperative that this class this generation in this time in our Society must stop pretending that the things we see around us are normal so I say Bravo to uh Mr bucker because you know it took stones to do this and

12:41 to get up there and uh and put himself out there and that's what courage means courage means standing up for the things you believe in even when it's uncomfortable even when it might cost you and based on what looks like the uh the rising value of his jersey I think there's a lot of people in this country that agree with him and if you don't that's okay that's what living in a free country is all about I just want to say that um

13:06 congratulations to all of you who've made it over the Finish Line congratulations to those of you who've come out more mature and more ready to be functional adults and for those of you who maybe haven't and you don't realize it yet I'm pulling for you to succeed I'm pulling for you to figure it out and I think many of you most of you will ultimately get there there after a couple more bumps and bruises if I'm

13:32 being honest I hope this has been helpful to you happy graduation welcome to the next step of the rest of your life and um see you next time