Making Sense of Discipline Preview

0:01 I'd like to welcome you all to this video course on making sense of discipline probably the most pressing question in raising children it's been always a pressing question the Greeks wrote about this Plato wrote about this Socrates wrote about this we had some major writing in the 17th century which is still actually influencing much of

0:31 our practices today and all touch on those things but it still continues to be the most pressing kind of question what do I do when what do I do when and that's our version of this most ancient question and this is exactly what I want to address this question not only get asked by parents by teachers but by principals by Vice Principal supervisors of daycares directors of programs for

1:03 children with problem behavior and on and on and on and always I get the question can you give us a template can you create some guidelines so that we can create an approach whether it is in the family whether it is in a program whether it is in a school an approach to discipline policy and I'm glad that there are those of you that are viewing this course that are not satisfied with one minute answers that you are not

1:33 satisfied with isolated strategies divorced from their philosophical moorings that and we all know that when it comes to discipline we can't always count on our instincts they can quite lead us awry and so I'm glad for the invitation to do more than one minute answers to be able to provide some depth to this to provide some foundational knowledge my own experience in the field of discipline is a very varied problem

2:05 kids in prison some of the most problematic kids and in prison I actually was dean of students at one time in a private college and I had the discipline portfolio and so I had both I had some of the most well behaved but still sometimes running into problems adolescence and the Boers behaved you know and of course there has been a lifetime of parent consultation of working with teachers I was a parent consultant on a national television

2:36 program one time or for a period of years and so and and I'm a parent of five grandparent of three the five are all adults and so it it's more difficult now to spank them but nevertheless talk about spanking it was my own it was my own minute of notoriety so to speak I was giving a presentation in a presentation and I said and I said I didn't know there was a national

3:08 journalist in the crowd I said that some of today's practices could actually be more dangerous than spanking and will actually get to this in session two and the next morning it went across the headlines not only in Canada the United States and Europe and I got calls everywhere except the headlines were Vancouver psychologists advocate spanking you know that was the headlines I can assure you that is not the case that is not what we'll be talking about

3:39 and hopefully that doesn't come as a result from this course but it does show you just how full of well walking this areas like minefields is that being able to say exactly what you want to say and being able to get the kind of understanding that I want to get and that's why we need some time and I thank you for that time that you're giving me in this course to cry to to be able to

4:08 lay those foundations to talk about these things so hopefully at the end of the course it will inform the decisions and form the philosophy and form the approach to discipline and inform the decisions about what to do when so please fasten your seat belts I hope you enjoy the ride the we'll be a fast-paced three hours I can assure you much of the material that I discuss is embedded elsewhere in the various courses that I have developed

4:37 for parents for teachers for helping professionals but in this course I try to bring all the salient information bring it together under one cover under one course and address specifically the pressing question of discipline and how do we go about it I've subtitled it the ins and outs of imposing order on children's behavior and I hope you'll get by the end of the course the play on the language that I am doing here but the ins and outs of imposing order on

5:10 children's behavior we need to impose order on children's behavior that is part of our responsibility as parents as teachers but how do we go about it there are some good ways there are some ways that are not so good that that we're engaging in today and therefore the ins ends in outs of it the overview this is applicable I'm trying to do this and

5:42 this is a real stretch a real challenge I'm trying to say it in such a way that you could apply the material equally to a toddler and to a team now they're very different creatures but what I'm trying to do is distill it to the essence and so when it gets to the essence you can write your own strategy write your own prescription taking that into consideration so my job is to be able to inform the thinking and so I'm going to

6:07 try to do this and I'm also I'm trying to do this it's so that it's applicable to every setting from residential homes foster homes group homes of course the the most will be viewing this as parents in terms of their own toddlers and preschoolers and school-aged children and so on teachers will be looking for classroom management suggestions the vice-principals will be looking for who are often in charge of the discipline

6:37 portfolio for approach to the school and approach to this and so what I'm hoping to do is is to cover that that's a broad spectrum but that is my hope that I can distill it enough to the essence so that it becomes Universal in its application because if we get it to the essence if we get to what are the truths here what are the things we must take into consideration then we can open it up to apply across venues the

7:05 approach the approach is from an attachment an attachment based developmental perspective now this is very important here this is what I am I'm a development I am a developmentalist developmentalist the key question is what it's about children realizing their full potential as human beings and about what gets in the way that's what a developmentalists stands

7:36 for that's how they think so the key issue is not how to get children to behave the key issue is how can children realize their full potential as a human being and that question must never ever be we must never leave that question because that question informs everything but let me explain well we can ask the question though what do I owe what is there to eat how there's lots to eat

8:07 there's lots to eat you might find a lot it to eat in your fridge you know the store a lot to eat but but what is there to eat that is good for me now it limits the choices and that's the problem we have here if people say well what how can I control the behavior of a child what discipline works there's lots of methods that work there's lots of methods that work for some of the children some of the time

8:37 but how can I impose order so it does not jeopardize the healthy development of a child what a child requires to be able to realize their full potential the question of this course that's a different question and so it's not only what to do when it's what to do when so that it is good for the child good for the conditions that are required to be conducive to raising the child that's a

9:10 more limiting question and unfortunately very few people are asking it I get so frustrated with the literature so frustrated with with the TV programs with dr. Phil with the nanny program so frustrated with much of the material from so-called experts because they do not take that question into consideration and they ought to anybody who is addressing this question should realize that it has to be done within

9:40 the context of a larger question and and so it is more complex than it would appear therefore the need for at least three hours to be able to address this and because one has to look at this question within the context of a larger development unfortunately practices have evolved that have responded to the consumers need for one-minute answers for instant fixes to be able to control

10:12 behavior without weighing the cost unfortunately there are no warning labels on popular approaches to discipline not like food on food yo you could say well yo what is good for me and it gives you this whole list you know inside the food and you can read it and I think all the popular discipline approaches today should come with warnings you know there are side effects this may work very well to control the behavior of the child but it isn't

10:42 necessarily good for your child and don't be surprised that there are repercussions and so we'll be looking at at some of this