Transcript
0:00 If your kid is saying a lot of bad language, whatever it is, here's what you might be missing. Telling a kid to stop doing something, "Stop talking that way." is a lot less effective than it telling a kid where and when they can do a certain behavior. We're talking about the difference between trying to stop an urge versus trying to channel an urge. I want you to try something like this. "Oh, you have a lot of poo poo pee pee words in your body right now. We can't say those at the table. That's not appropriate. You know what? Before dinner, we can go into a bathroom and get all those words out." I would actually do it with my kid because there's no other way to make something so uncool than when you do it with your kid. So, yeah, go into the bathroom.
0:47 Channel that urge. Poo poo, pee pee. If it's more intense, okay. Whatever it is, it's already happening. Now you have a system. You're working on the same team as your kid. Instead of you against your kid, it's you two together figuring out how to channel this urge more effectively.
Summary
- Instead of telling kids to stop using bad language, guide them on when and where it's appropriate.
- Acknowledge their feelings by saying they have "poo poo pee pee words" that need to be expressed.
- Designate a specific time and place, like a bathroom, for them to let out those words.
- Engage in the process with your child to make it less appealing and more of a shared experience.
- This approach promotes teamwork between parent and child, rather than creating an adversarial relationship.
- Channeling urges can help children learn self-regulation in a fun and constructive way.
- Focus on creating a system that supports appropriate expression rather than outright bans.