Modeling behavior versus setting rules

0:03 so parents are over concerned over how to create rules you know what rules should my child follow how should i institute rules how should I embody them and my answer to them is to begin from a different place don't start at the rule-based how do i implement rules start at a different place the place I want parents to start thinking about rules is not with behavior but about relationship how as a parent am i embodying a relationship to my own sense

0:36 of a rule-based life and how do I help my child navigate internal rules rules when fixated on external behavior are going to go awry very quickly you're going to make a chart you're going to have a naughty step you're gonna have a stool you're gonna have a timeout corner none of those will work because the rules are being artificially imposed four rules to truly work rules what that really means is that there needs to be an inner sense of grounding so when a

1:06 parent begins to model living a life which is clear consistent organized non chaotic and grounded in a sense of method methodology the same thing kind of happens over and over again then quite naturally the child will follow the behavior will follow there is no need to now let's impose a rule about how we talk it's how we talk there's no need to impose a rule about who does

1:36 chores we all do chores it's part of Family Contribution there's no need to institute a rule over language or over cell phone use it's just how things are done in the family so I like parents to shift away from enforcing rules because it just rigidify z-- their notion that they're in control and they need to be dominant and take it to a more circular base perspective where rules are happening organically it's the embodiment of your own values your own

2:04 leadership in your own life