Dad Depression and How To Get Out of It | Dad University

0:00 depression sucks it knocks you down it makes you not want to be around other people and it can just wreak havoc in your life and if you're a dad then it definitely affects the other people around you especially your kids and that might be the last thing that we want to happen but it does you might have dad depression because of financial strain relationship issues your job or a combination of all kinds of things you

0:30 might be feeling like you're not good enough or that you should be better whatever the reason I'm telling you that it can get better I do want to make a disclaimer I'm not a doctor I'm not a therapist the information in this video is based on my own experience and it's my opinion if you are having thoughts of suicide or hurting other people you should get help immediately and we'll put some information in the links below so that

1:00 you can get some help I also understand that the information in this video may not apply to everyone who's dealing with depression but like I said this is based on my own experience so in this video we are gonna talk about dad depression why do so many men suffer from it and how can you get out of it [Music] hey guys I'm Jason cried man and welcome to another episode of dad University be sure to give this video a thumbs up

1:30 subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell so you know when our videos are uploaded also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple people that might benefit from this video please share it with them I'd love to get some feedback from you are you a depressed dad what's that one thing that's just really causing you distress leave your feedback in the comment section below we have a previous

1:57 video that I did on male postpartum depression and how it affects new dads if you're a new dad and you are experiencing depression you're gonna definitely want to check out that video as well however for the purpose of this video we're talking about dad depression after the baby stage now depression can happen at any time but I'm seeing a large population of dads that are feeling down and their kids are in the 3 to 7 year old range not the

2:27 dads with older kids are immune to it but the average divorce happens after 8 years of marriage let's kind of think about those numbers couples married for a year or two and then decides to have a child and maybe depression is related to many of those divorces so the children aren't about that 3 to 7 year old range and the couple gets divorce after eight years depression isn't usually caused by one specific thing but there can be

2:57 something that is leading the way maybe you aren't feeling good physically maybe you're going through a divorce maybe you lost your job there could be a death in the family there are all kinds of things that can lead the way in depression but I want to tell you that it can get better if you are able to make some small steps it can get better I want to tell you that no matter what your situation is if you are able to

3:23 make that effort it can get better now there's probably some of you who feel like you can't make that effort but can you call someone can you call a hotline if you are able to do that there is help for you and we'll put some information in the description below so that you can get help the interesting thing with men is that we don't always show depression in the same way that women do men are more inclined to abuse

3:48 alcohol and substances cheat on their spouse or do other things that's actually depression it often goes undiagnosed family and friends usually or often have no idea what they're going through and that is because we are really good at hiding things especially how we feel I want to go over some ways in which you can begin to get out of your dad depression you don't have to feel like this it can get better number one own it admit that you are

4:20 depressed stop lying stop pretending that everything is okay stop sweeping it under the rug and say to yourself I realize that I am depressed and then in the next sentence saying I no longer want to feel this way what happens is when you own it you no longer give it the power you are taking back the power so that you can move forward number two stop complaining not everybody that is depressed complains but I can tell you

4:52 as a recovering complainer there's really no value in complaining we think that it helps us or that it makes us feel better but the truth is is it doesn't and it just is about negativity so you might think things and then you say them out loud so the first step is to just don't say it out loud you might think something negative keep it to yourself another little trick I used was I put a rubber band around my wrist and every

5:20 time I said something negative I would snap that rubber band you start to realize how often you say something negative and complain and so slowly you will stop or drastically reduce how much you are complaining but stopping complaining is only a good thing number three don't be a victim don't blame other people take responsibility that you decide how things are going to affect you stop feeling sorry for

5:50 yourself okay here's an example your wife cheated on you and that's horrible it's her fault but how does being a victim help you in any way how is that going to help you move forward I can tell you it doesn't take the power back if you lost your job because your company downsized you had no control over it and that sucks but as being a victim gonna help you get a new job it's not so don't be a victim so

6:22 that you can move forward number four consume positive content whether it's images videos or audio you want to put positive and uplifting messages into your brain there's so much negative in media whether you're watching the news or you're looking on social media now if you're on social media because you're connecting with friends and/or in a support group great but if those images and those videos of your friends that are in exotic places is making you

6:53 feel down don't look at them get off social media and go do something that's going to make you feel good number five eat better now I say better rather than eating healthy because eating healthy might be too far of a stretch when we're depressed we have a tendency to eat really poorly so making small incremental changes can really have a big impact reduce your sugar intake eat more fruits and vegetables drink water

7:24 instead of other drinks that you might be consuming what we put in our body absolutely has an effect on how we feel so eating healthy is great but just eat better than you are now and you will see that you will have more energy and start feeling better number six consume less alcohol alcohol is classified as a central nervous system depressant basically it slows down brain functioning and that's not a good thing when we're depressed we often

7:56 feel like hey I just have a couple drinks it takes the edge off or when you come home from work you might have a couple drinks and it feels like that is helping you relax but the truth is is that it just creates a never-ending cycle I can tell you firsthand that when I decided to drink less alcohol it absolutely affected my mood in a positive way I felt down much less often and when I did feel down and depressed I

8:22 felt like I was able to bounce back much quicker my head was clearer and I just felt better I'm going to ask that you try it consume less alcohol for 30 days and see how you feel the worst thing that can happen is that you're going to lose some excess weight because you're consuming less calories so you're going to eat better you're going to consume less alcohol now you're ready for number seven exercise exercising releases endorphins which

8:52 makes your body feel better now I'm not saying you have to go to the gym but you need to get your body moving even going for a walk is going to be beneficial for you but maybe it's a sport that you like to do or some other activity even with your kids exercise is really important in getting out of your dad depression number eight practice gratitude I personally think that this might be the most important advice in this video

9:21 gratitude is the antidote for depression I think it's virtually impossible to feel grateful and also be depressed gratitude is so powerful now it doesn't happen overnight it's like exercise you have to develop the gratitude muscle but practicing that gratitude will absolutely change how you feel and will reduce your depression drastically we did a previous video on practicing gratitude and explain a

9:52 couple different ways that you can practice it and learn it one of the simplest ways is to just keep a gratitude journal simply write down three things that you are grateful for each day be sure to also write down why you are grateful and these could be simple things you know you have a roof over your head you're able to get out of bed maybe you can breathe you have food whatever it might be you want to put

10:20 these positive messages in your head about what you are grateful for instead of focusing on the things that you don't have or where you are not or where you should be instead you're thinking about the things that you do have where you are and looking at those in a positive way this can absolutely have an impact on how you feel and how you interpret the things around you I do hope that these tips are helpful but if you can't do this on your own

10:49 or you feel like you've tried so many things and it's just not working I would suggest number 9 get help there is nothing wrong with getting help in fact it's admirable I wish that more people would the help that they need whether it's a local therapist a doctor a support group it's so important that you talk to other people and get help do not keep this to yourself it is absolutely important for both you and your child that you get

11:21 help you deserve to be happy your child wants you to be happy being depressed is a difficult place to be but know that you are not alone so many men suffer from it but yet they just don't admit it or get help we have to change that that's something that was in the past we have to admit that there is a problem and we have to be okay with getting help I would love to hear from you which one

11:50 of the tips resonated the most with you what's one of the tips that you can take action with now make a pledge and take action leave your feedback in the comment section below and let me know what you're going to do now to get on the road to moving forward if you found this video helpful you don't want to miss what we have for you in our other videos so be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the

12:15 channel and click on that notification bell also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple guys who might benefit from this please share it with them [Music]