# Using The Skills of Noticing & Composure to Regulate Our Emotions (As Adults!)

**Creator:** Conscious Discipline
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 3m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc

## Summary

The speaker shares a personal experience about managing anger through techniques learned from "conscious discipline." By taking a moment to breathe and reflect on her feelings, she was able to choose a more constructive response rather than reacting impulsively.

- The speaker's husband humorously refers to her anger as "Hulk smash."
- She learned about conscious discipline from a friend, Susan Hample.
- During a heated conversation, she decided to apply conscious discipline techniques.
- By taking deep breaths, she was able to identify her feelings of anger.
- She realized she had choices in how to respond: react aggressively, ignore the issue, or communicate assertively.
- She chose to express her feelings calmly and assertively, which led to a positive outcome.
- The experience highlighted the importance of pausing to reflect before reacting.
- Managing emotions is challenging but can lead to healthier interactions and self-acceptance.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=0s)
my husband is in the room he's in the back and I know y'all would never think this of me but when I get angry he says it's Hulk smash have you ever you know the Marvel and he's like don't make her angry right so when I first heard about this um a a lady named Susan hample she came up here with Rock and Robin hey Susan she is the one who told me about conscious discipline right so I start

[[0:27]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=27s)
reading and watching videos and I'm sitting at dinner one day with one of my friends and this the conversation gets a little hot so I'm like I'm going to try this stuff let's see what happens so you're supposed to calm yourself right so instead of morphing into She-Hulk I'm like I'm going to take some breaths so I breathe and it slows me down just long enough so I can figure out what it is I'm actually feeling right so I start

[[0:55]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=55s)
talking to myself your stomach feels weird your lips are pursed together you know how you get that look right I'm like your fist baled up a little bit cuz I do this thing right here it's like don't hit the table don't hit the table just massage your hand so I'm like okay that's a big feeling what is this feeling that you have oh you're feeling angry that's what it is so I was able to name it so I'm

[[1:22]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=82s)
like okay cool I'm on the right track let's keep going let's keep going I have a choice hm so I slowed down long enough to figure out I had a choice so my choices were number one I could let them have it because I had already told them before it this gets on my nerves so why are we talking about it again or I could get up go to the restroom come back and pretend like nothing ever

[[1:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=109s)
happened well that's not going to be good because we're talking about it again so I'm going to have to say something right so I have the third choice I can be assertive and I can tell them what works for me and what doesn't and let it be what it is right so I'm like all right what would Susan do what would Amy do okay they tell me go with number three so I said you know we've talked about this

[[2:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=138s)
before we both know that we're not going to agree about it and that's okay you don't have to think the way I think I don't have to think about I don't have to think the way you think it just is what it is and they look at me like what because usually my thing was I'm going to tell you what I think you going to take it and it's going to be what it is and then I'll see you tomorrow when we

[[2:40]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=160s)
go to brunch but I decided to go a different direction and I found that surprisingly I felt a bit better because I didn't have to feel guilty about saying some out of the pocket stuff to my friend that I have any business saying in the first place so it's all about choices you have to choose is this something that is worth my time worth my while and worth my effort because it's not easy it's not easy but that quick pause

[[3:13]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nasp8ue-zUc&t=193s)
to get those breath in will give you the opportunity to decide if you want to be She-Hulk or if you want to stay your normal self make sense all right