# Ask Me a Parenting Question - Live Q & A | Dad University **Creator:** Dad University **Platform:** youtube **Duration:** 1h 11m **Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA ## Summary The live session focuses on parenting advice, particularly for new dads, and discusses various topics such as teething, emotional challenges, and the importance of mindset in parenting. The host emphasizes the need for open communication, empathy, and understanding in both parenting and personal relationships. - The host is launching a parenting course aimed at helping dads build confidence and skills in parenting. - Teething can be managed with frozen toys and teething biscuits, with a focus on comfort rather than medication. - Mental health and emotional well-being are crucial for dads, as they often face anxiety and stress related to parenting. - The importance of empathy in parenting is highlighted, encouraging dads to understand their children's emotions and behaviors. - Effective parenting involves planning ahead and prioritizing family time, while also being flexible and understanding of individual needs. - The host advocates for positive reinforcement over punishment and emphasizes the importance of communication between partners. - New parents should approach challenges with a mindset of learning and growth, accepting that mistakes will happen. - The session encourages dads to seek support and resources, including counseling if needed, to navigate parenting challenges. ## Transcript [[0:06]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=6s) all right as notifications go out um we'll get going live a little bit different scenery here for those in the us who just saw the debates i'm sure it was uh if you guys watched that a lot of people were watching so um if you have a question though throw it into the chat um using a different video [[0:39]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=39s) setup here so i don't know if everything will look okay but um let me know where you're from where you're joining me from and uh any questions you might have just let me know how things are going as i said the uh the debates were just happening if you are in the u.s and so uh i'm sure a lot of people are online but uh certainly went better than it did the last time that's for sure [[1:07]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=67s) so hope everybody is doing well and uh let's see so open to questions if you guys have questions let me know it's a little bit late here in the office but uh came in to do some work and then also answer any questions you have so let me know or i'll just hang out and wait i mean i can do that too so you guys can just sit there and watch me i'll work as [[1:38]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=98s) i let's see let me know where you're joining me from uh say hello love to hear you know some feedback or if you got questions if you got questions about anything parenting related um i'd be happy to happy to answer them not sure i like this setup though trying to figure this out um always trying to [[2:10]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=130s) get better video better audio better lighting and um the problem most of the time is that i use my phone to go live and then i sit there with my finger on the screen like this uh hey jesse from chicago right on good to good to see you welcome first time watching live yeah it's weird the the live um i i've [[2:40]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=160s) been doing a little bit more lives lately um just because um recording is is is quite it's um you know there's a lot involved and so what i've been doing is really focused on my course um and my course is launching on wednesday so for anybody that is watching and is interested in the course uh i you know love to talk to you about it you can email me um [[3:10]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=190s) info daduniversity.com if you have any interest in talking about it but yeah it's it's the the the purpose of the course is to help dads be more confident in their parenting and we go over everything from you know mindset to how to communicate discipline um what kind of legacy you want to leave there's there's so many good topics to cover and so it's really really important that we uh that we cover those things and so i've [[3:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=221s) created a course um working with a small group of dads it's going to be live for eight weeks and it's it's going to be both uh or i should say both fun and informative got some things planned to you know hopefully keep it somewhat entertaining as serious as it is hey trevor from utah right on um so trevor had asked about uh is asking about teething um yeah so so teething [[4:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=254s) with our child um my my daughter didn't have it as bad my son was really bad and we did two things we did use those teething biscuits they're called and they were really helpful but even more helpful was frozen um toys and so they were like these little they almost look like a dog toy like a chew toy it was like these circular things and we would freeze those and i tell you our son was a drooler um [[4:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=288s) he would have just he'd be teething and drooling and such um but those those frozen toys i don't know i don't even know what they were called teething rings something but they we would be able to freeze them that's what they're made for and then the cold would feel good on their we didn't really use any medicine or medications or anything like that those teething rings worked well and then also like i said the teething biscuits [[5:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=316s) um he would just always you know he was uncomfortable and slobbering and it was like almost like a puppy he just would do that so that worked for us um that's probably what i would say um [Music] how old is your daughter trevor let me know um but yeah as they as they are growing the the teething it's just it's one of those things you get through um [[5:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=347s) anybody else has questions let me know where you're from where you're joining us there's some people popping in as the debates and i figured i was it was funny i was going to go live earlier and then i realized that the debate was on that wasn't gonna happen so i had to watch that debate i won't give you my opinion but i'm gonna not be political on my channel um that's for sure [[6:19]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=379s) so what else is new uh let's see if we can pick i didn't pick a specific topic to discuss tonight i really just wanted to hang out and you know see what questions people had and see if i can answer them um so she is seven months old yeah so that's that's about right yeah i think the teething the teething rings and the biscuits will will probably be best um let me see if i can [[6:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=412s) hey brady brady from minnesota asked what's something we should do more research on that most people wouldn't normally expect in the early stages after birth um well i i can tell you for me all of the things that deal with me as a father the emotion the stress [[7:24]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=444s) the patience those are the things to me that i think need more research and more work on and that's what i a lot of my channel is um you know the i'll just say it the bomb uh forums and groups and things they talk a lot you know about teething and diapers and um and and but men you know talk about that too and then they'll talk about you know [[7:54]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=474s) what's the best stroller to get and i'm going to be honest i that's not why i created this channel um you know that's not the top those aren't the topics to me that are crucial you know you know you sure it's important to you know figure out that stuff but that's not really stuff that people struggle with you know what what people struggle with and i this is the feedback that i get and the talk that you know i [[8:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=501s) talk with so many people is that you know a dad is saying you know i'm scared you know or uh soon to be dead scared or you know what i have anxiety or i'm stressed or i'm not getting along with my wife and you know i'm we're not being intimate um these are the kinds of topics to me that are much more important um it's it's the mental health of dads it's the life things and [[8:51]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=531s) those and and for us to be able to talk about those honestly that to me is the most important part so you know i think brandon you just said i'm still scared seven months in absolutely you know and and part of that is the unknown you know that is what is often scary you know they says anxiety is the fear of the future and depression is the worry or the the dwelling of the past and you know one of the things that i have [[9:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=561s) i've talked about is trying to be more in the moment is being more present and that's really what this channel was about is the things that i dealt with the things that i have difficulties with the things that i've overcome um that's what i wanted to help others with and hey listen i i still deal with these things you know this is granted i i'm i'm in it every day i'm producing content and i practice what i preach i [[9:50]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=590s) mean i i still get anxiety i still have fear you know i'm approaching the teenage years with my kids and i've got a ton to learn um i've learned so much over the years you know about toddlers and babies and doing that um i've been studying teens i've gone to classes and you know been been trying to up my game on the on the teen stuff and just and that's partly because i have a soon to be team [[10:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=618s) but you know it's a journey and this is um you know it's something that i think those are the things and those are the topics to me that are really really important uh caleb how's it going i just saw a question come in first daughter coming any day now was just curious what to expect the first few days home from both the baby and mama i know stress is going to be high so how'd you cope with it [[10:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=643s) um i'm not sure if you saw but i had you know created a video called you know what um what was the name of it it's like bringing the baby home and it talks about just that and the different things that happen you know just within the first few days you know i can tell you for me and my wife you know when we brought our son home for the first time we basically looked at each other [[11:04]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=664s) looked back looked at the baby and then go okay what do we do now um you want to clear your schedule that's for sure and you want to soak it in you know it's something that is brand new it's we there's not a manual for it um you know i i will say just based on your um your comment there's certainly value in having [[11:38]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=698s) some um knowledge or expectations about what is to come but your last line is concerning to me and says i know stress is going to be high so how do you cope with it well what if you go into that situation not thinking that it's going to be stressful you know that it because bringing a baby home shouldn't be stressful it should be a beautiful thing and a happy thing it should not be a stressful [[12:09]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=729s) thing and so that's part of the mindset shift that you know we make now i'm not now instead of maybe saying that or say hey what are some of the things that i might not be familiar with you know what are some of the things that are going to be new to us you know but stress and setting yourself up for that before it even happens is part of the problem and that's what anxiety is anxiety is [[12:40]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=760s) worrying about the future even when it doesn't happen you know i i recently um i had some comments on on my channel about a a guy was dealing with his girlfriend and says you know we think or it was something to the effect of um you know i can't believe it she might be pregnant i don't know what i'm gonna do and you know it was it was a pretty emotional post and my response was simple i said go [[13:08]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=788s) confirm that she's pregnant first before you worry about it we have a tendency to you know i have said like we have a tendency to worry about things that don't happen or that aren't going to happen or you know and what happens is is that we have not we we stress for no reason and we stress for things that don't actually happen you know one of the sayings is the worst thing that ever happened to me never [[13:35]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=815s) actually happened and i've i've learned a lot about that you know and especially with kids we're so worried about what's going to happen in the future and how am i going to do this and and i think there's validity to that i mean there's validity to thinking about the future but and not and making knowledge but you have to look at what your mindset is and going into it thinking it's going to be stressful that's not helpful for me [[14:04]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=844s) um now i will say you could say you know what it's going to be a happy situation hey maybe what's the worst thing that can happen you know i mean grant you don't want to think detrimental but you say oh you know what what's the worst thing is i have no idea what i'm doing so you take some time and you think about it you know and you take some time and you try different things you're going to fail you know [[14:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=866s) these this is one of those things where you are 100 certain that you're going to fail at things you know it's the same thing in a relationship we can't get every single thing perfect and so with parenting that's the same thing is you know not everything's going to be perfect um be okay with the fact that you're gonna make mistakes look at it as a positive thing and if you go into it with that mindset um that's to me is the you know the most [[14:57]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=897s) important thing in parenting is your mindset it is it is so important this is why i talk about meditation i talk about patience i talk about gratitude i talk about empathy because all of these things are so powerful these are the things that got me through the difficult times and they still do you know um so i i think that you know hopefully that answers it um [[15:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=928s) [Music] uh we lost same i think one of the things you struggle with is planning ahead i'm not going to answer one of the other questions but [Music] yeah we all struggle with that you know it's planning ahead too much um i'll go on to another question [[15:59]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=959s) i read that timeouts are not good what do you think i think that people don't know how to use timeouts and so using them effectively um i think the word time out maybe is not good there's you know calming mechanisms teaching your children to breathe and recognize different emotions is important but if you've been on my channel for any period of time and watch some of my videos i am not a fan of punishment um i'm a fan of discussing things and [[16:29]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=989s) teaching and um and i went funny there's a story back when my son i don't know he was so young i don't even know how young he didn't know what was going on um and i tried to do a timeout and he cried and we argued i argued with like a three-year-old for an hour it was a waste of an hour of my life and so what i learned from so much of [[17:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1020s) these things is that my mindset is really important you know what am i trying to convey is my and and the other part of it too is mindset is understanding that a child that is one two three four five and even older they often don't know what they're doing and they never know what they're doing but you cannot apply an adult brain to a small child and that's what we do [[17:32]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1052s) and so we expect them to understand right from wrong we expect to understand reasoning we expect them to understand boundaries we expect them all of these things that we expect from them and it's just it's not fair so we get upset when they touch something that they were told not to touch we get upset at the fact that they're not listening we get upset all of these things we get upset at and it's not [[18:04]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1084s) their fault their brain has not developed yet and so we apply this reasoning in these things to these little child these little children these little babies they are not out to get you your three-year-old is not saying no and not listening to you because they think you're a jerk and trying to get to you they're not listening to you because they have no idea what you're talking about so this is something that we have to understand and i wish i understood it [[18:35]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1115s) sooner i only understand it now it's like i'm going through the things of teens and i know that so much of my son's behavior is is the changes that he's going through it's hormonal changes it's physical changes it's emotional changes i can't take that stuff personally he he you know teenage that's what they do so there are different ways of dealing with it and that's a lot of what i teach um hey dalton good to see you brandon good [[19:06]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1146s) to see you bruno michael thank you michael um love your videos any tips on prioritizing family time compared to work yeah here's the thing you you're not you can't be um you can't be perfect at everything all the time and so you have to be mindful of that and you know i work a lot i enjoy my work [[19:36]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1176s) um i you know how to balance it or prioritize family time i'd say you put it on the calendar you know the same things you'd put on uh you put a meeting on your calendar you put that you know you put family time on your calendar as well you know hey six o'clock on wednesday i'm gonna play a game with my child you know hey on saturday from eight to noon we're gonna go for a bike ride you [[20:02]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1202s) know or we're gonna sit down and talk whatever it is you know when you put it down and you make the time that's what you do now you have to figure that out it's different for everybody the priority the cool part about it is that if you're mindful you get to start over every day you know i know that right now i like let's well let's call it the last week you know my family and i went on a [[20:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1228s) little mini vacation here locally just went to a hotel locally near the uh near the beach and we spent the whole time together for the most part you know and so i knew that you know that was on the weekend come monday to tuesday wednesday of like i i didn't need to spend too much time with my that need or desire or whatever with my family you know i caught up on stuff that i needed to get [[20:54]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1254s) caught up on so you have to be able to gauge that and part of that is knowing you know the people around you engaging the people around you you know if your spouse has certain requirements or desires about the time that you spend you have to balance that with what you want to spend and the same thing with your kids and you know make that you're better off having quality time than the quantity of time and so i i think for everybody it's [[21:19]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1279s) different um i do have some videos on work life harmony i call it instead of balance um but it's never going to be perfect it's all about priority i will say nobody on their death bed ever said i should have spent more time at the office they're going to say i should have spent more time with the people that i loved and so you know keep that in mind but there's a couple videos i have if you go back [[21:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1301s) um work life balance that kind of stuff that'll probably help uh dan congratulations a new dad in may keeper versus striker i'm about to be a dad in march any advice watch all the videos i've got a lot of advice uh row oath i hope i'm just found out two weeks ago that my wife and i are expecting and pretty much binged all your videos just wanted to say hi cool [[22:13]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1333s) congrat glad you're here hope you stick around um [Music] i'm glad uh dan that the videos are calming you down a little bit here's the thing for everybody you know because we're all you know that's why a lot of people come is that they're worried or they are concerned about the future is that you know the first thing probably that i would say to anybody is that what you're feeling is normal you know the anxiety and the stress and the [[22:44]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1364s) the uncertainty and the unknown and you know all of that stuff is normal you know we may not talk about it we may not you know and you see all these people who are you know handling things maybe they post on instagram or they're you know they're doing things and they handle things than in a way that appears to be wonderful and the truth is that it's hard it is hard being a parent you know it's hard being a father it's [[23:12]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1392s) hard being a mother um but the truth is it's hard to be a kid too you know it is hard to be a three-year-old and not know what the heck is going on in this world and you've got you know parents telling you what to do and um yeah it's you know that's the part that i think we have to accept is that it is not an easy role it's just not and um doing it well [[23:38]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1418s) and being thoughtful and mindful is even harder that's the that's the interesting part too is that being a parent is hard bruno says hard but extremely rewarding you're right it is and it can it can be rewarding you know when you're when you come home and you come into the door and your your children you know run run to you and hug you that's a pretty darn good feeling um now at the same time when you come [[24:08]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1448s) home and they're asking you a ton of questions and they didn't clean up anything that you had written down or told them to clean up and they're eating something that they weren't supposed to eat that those are those times where you know it could get it gets frustrating and for some people you know those aren't frustrations but you know i can tell you for me things frustrate me all the time and so the question becomes is how do i deal [[24:39]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1479s) with that you know what is my mindset to be able to deal with these stresses that happen because on top of that i may have issues with my profession my relationship family you know there's all these different dynamics happening and so there was a question that asked like what's the most important thing it is your mindset it is learning how to deal with all of these things that's the best advice i can give as a parent [[25:10]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1510s) is learn how to have patience you know learn how to approach a situation calmly learn how to have gratitude to be thankful so that when the stuff is crappy at home you can actually look and be thankful for what it is that you have um you know and and allow yourself to have bad days you know um you know i can tell you i've i've been stressed out i'm creating my my first course and it [[25:40]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1540s) starts next week and it's been very very stressful for me i'm sure i haven't been that wonderful to be around you know i've been stressed um by the way if anybody is interested i i am promoting that um if if you are interested in the course it starts next week i'm just going to be working privately with a handful of dads um but if you are interested uh email me info dad university dot com and uh we'll set up a call and talk and [[26:12]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1572s) see if it's a good fit um jamie had asked i'm not a parent myself but wondering is it harder than you thought it would be yes um i i figured it was going to be hard but i think i only um i think i only thought about the early years you know i so here's here's what happens is that when you have a child or you have a child on the way [[26:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1603s) you don't think you're not really thinking about parenting you know you are thinking about the transition into fatherhood you're thinking about the relationship with your partner you're thinking about diapers and sleep and um you know napping and those kinds of things when your child hits about one and a half two you start to think about other things you know it isn't about napping and sleeping and eating and all that anymore [[27:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1634s) now it starts to be about listening and it starts to be about parenting and it starts to be about other subjects that you start to worry about and that's that's a lot of the things that i want to talk about because that's the real hard stuff i i'm not going to minimize the fact that you know transitioning from a single guy into a married dude or you know having a child is not difficult but a lot of that is just like you know [[27:44]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1664s) sleep deprivation and worry about the future um i actually think you know for me the hardest time was during the toddler years you know when they are one and a half to five they start you know the whining and the defiance those for me and that those were the hardest [[28:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1694s) because it started you you're forced to start to analyze such the situation and think about the future and think about especially if you're going to be mindful about how you're handling these things to me that was really really important you know i wanted to be a good father i wanted to be a good husband and so i started thinking about how can i how can i be better at these things you know and so my my daughter was one [[28:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1723s) my son was three my mother had just passed away which was devastating and i figured there has to be better ways of doing this stuff you know i i'm granted i came from a great family what would i you know but there are definitely ways to handle situations that are better than others and and and when i say better i mean better often for ourselves um rather than you know granted there's [[29:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1754s) multiple ways to handle a situation sometimes for children you know and experts will have different ways and people have different views you know i'll get asked all the time like you know about sleep techniques or you know about napping or about you know this and that there are different ways in which you know you can handle it of whatever your preference is and you'll be fine but there are some other situations where i find you know some commonalities [[29:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1781s) of you know looking at situations and say okay what is the optimal way to handle this situation and a lot of it is certain psychology and you know drikers and there's some other psychologists who have sort of positive parenting and there's these philosophies of that which i really really like and and feel good about um and so those are the types of philosophies that i've brought into dad university and you know not everybody agrees um [[30:13]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1813s) that's okay you know what's what's cool is that you don't have to agree and we can agree to disagree that's what's awesome um you know and i think that that's a problem at least in our country in america here is that people have lost the ability to agree to disagree you know it's okay if we don't have the same views on something we can still be friends you know i have friends that have and i have family members even that might have [[30:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1841s) different views than i do um that's okay you can still respect somebody else and have a different view and i think that that's gone but a lot of that is gone um the respect for other um for other views and it's the same thing in parenting i may not agree with the way that you decide to you know your parent do your parenting but that's up to you you know that's and the same for me and [[31:10]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1870s) so it's interesting when i'll get some comments sometimes where somebody will say you know i didn't like the way that you said that uh you know your tip number four is wrong i'm not going or i'm unsubscribing to you and i i actually laugh because it's unfortunate it's unfortunate that somebody you know i have 200 something videos and 99 of it is going to be positive for them but there's that one little small thing [[31:42]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1902s) that you just didn't agree with and so as a result of that you just forget everything else that somebody is saying and we have that problem in politics and we have that problem in our schools and we have that problem in the workplace and we have that problem everywhere and it just that doesn't make sense to me but anyways uh i'll get back to some questions if you guys have them um [Music] mr mayhem ooh that's a good name [[32:09]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1929s) i grew up in an extremely abusive home where showing any semblance of weakness got you beat my girlfriend and i have graduated college we're 24 she wants a child now but i'm scared to be a good dad yeah um well there's there's some things about i'm not sure you know what you defined as weakness um if weakness means emotion um or you know not being able to handle something in some way you know i [[32:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1961s) it depends how you define weakness i guess um [Music] yes jamie i'm from america um so mr mayhem clarified crying love things of that nature yeah i mean i i was once called by my mentor um a heart warrior is she she called me that and i appreciated that and what that meant was that you can be what you would consider tough [[33:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=1994s) whatever that definition is you know it's masculine in some sense you know it nowadays it doesn't there's so many different definitions um but you can still be emotional um you can still have what would be considered feminine qualities that doesn't mean you're not masculine and vice versa i'd like to think of myself as strong um [[33:46]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2026s) you know i you know physically strong emotionally strong you know strong in values strong and whatever you know i i find those to be uh valuable or attractive qualities that i want yet at the same time i'm not afraid to cry um you know i start talking about my mother and her passing you get me long enough i'll i will i will shed some tears so [[34:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2056s) it is you know to me it's it is okay to cry um and especially um sorry i'm going um [Music] you know it's okay to cry it's okay to show emotion and um jake i can see there was a comment though about [[34:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2087s) something that i think it was it was hidden for the um let me see you said pimples um there's little uh on their on their backside if it's a rash uh you know i mean i'm not a skin doctor um you know we use a a product called butt paste it was incredible every single time we changed [[35:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2118s) our child we used butt paste didn't matter if they had a rash or not we used it never once got a rash diaper rash um if it is like little millia it could be uh which which happens sometimes they even get it on their face um this is sort of my wife's department she's a nurse um i i you know i would say you you probably want just to make sure you probably want to ask your pediatrician [[35:44]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2144s) just because you know i can't do any sort of medical diagnosis um but that's a common thing but i i think that butt pace desitin there's you know there's multiple products but for us butt paste was really good and put it on every time so um hopefully it's just you know something simple if if your child's discomfort you know they're they're not comfortable or something and get it fixed hopefully if that's the comment you're talking about [[36:12]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2172s) i was able to view it but it was um i don't know i don't know what's happening um matthew good to see you um uh mrs m let's we'll have a question from the lady i'm four months pregnant and my baby's [[36:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2203s) dad is a some is a you know i'll say jerk sometimes he can get super competitive first it was cute but now i only see red jealousy traits which will only cause future problems yeah i'm not sure what advice you're looking for it sounds like you're you know your baby dad should you know watch some videos um it's very difficult to give advice to somebody who's dealing with somebody else [[37:15]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2235s) because you don't know all the situation so i'm not sure i can answer that question um alan so this this is a good question alan asks and says i'm not a very affectionate person i'm i'm a soon to be first-time parent what are good tips or strategies to show affection to my newborn this is a really simple one [[37:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2267s) do it anyways you are not affectionate for whatever reason whether you know you didn't get affection i i have this there's a video about this um and it's talking about emotion and affection and how important it is to give affection to your children so you're gonna have to overlook the fact of whether you are bad or good or not never had it or don't know how to do it or whatever just forget all of that and know that it is absolutely important [[38:17]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2297s) to your child if you want to be a good father you need to be affectionate to your child that's it that's all you need to know so you don't worry about yourself don't bad talk yourself saying i'm not affectionate i don't know what to do i don't know how to do it doesn't matter do it and fail feel the fake fear and do it anyways kiss your child hug your child hold your child you can massage their feet and their [[38:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2325s) legs and their their arms um touch is very very important to children and so there really is no excuse um i think you just the way that you do it is by putting yourself in the place of the child knowing that it is really beneficial for them not you or i should say it's not you know it's not your issue it's so important to them so do it for your child [[39:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2358s) hey jake got a one and a half year old been watching since your wife was three months pregnant and helped you just want to know that i can't express words how much i appreciate you well jake i appreciate you too i mean thank you for sticking around and hanging out and uh yeah i remember you on from one of the previous chats and stuff and so it's um you know it it's great if jake you might be if you are interested you [[39:42]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2382s) might be interested in the class um having a one and a half year old if you guys are interested in the course yes it's an investment yes it's going to take your time yes but it's going to be so valuable uh email me info dad university dot com and we'll set up a phone call and see if it's something that's that's good for you um so mrs m um she said he even asked me to abort [[40:13]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2413s) during a petty argument um i i think you should probably seek out couples counseling you're bringing a baby into this world this is not really a parent father issue um um this is not really a a parenting and yeah i mean this this is something that if you're having relationship issues i would seek out counseling i mean there's counseling online you can go to you know [[40:44]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2444s) there's all kinds of things or seek a local counselor and even during quarantine and covid you can um do it remotely via zoom um and if he is unwilling then you do it yourself you know and do that that's that's what i would say um yeah i mean it's just you know people you can't control often what other people are doing all you can control is your response to it [[41:15]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2475s) and how you deal with it so if you are ready to do that then i um then i would uh matthew says empathy not envy uh wait there must be is there a did mat [Music] now that my wife is pregnant we are very excited just found out for sure a few days ago that would be what would be one of your personal top [[41:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2508s) tips that you don't mention or have it in your videos besides well i i i talked about at the beginning of this video is you know is your mindset it's you know looking here's what you do as a father and this is this is i have this in my course is look at where you want to be in 15 years with your child and you work backwards you know you want to have a child that [[42:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2538s) wants to hang out with you you want a child that's going to communicate with you you want a child that is going to be respectful and you know honorable to um themselves and other people then you work backwards and you figure out if this is the type of child that you want here's what you need to do to do that you know and i don't think we do that often you know we don't look at the future and say okay [[42:46]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2566s) here it is a lot of time we're just putting out fires and figuring out what's going on but you know you've got to have an end and end game you know you want your child to be an individual you want them to think for themselves you want them to be able to handle situations and have resilience and all of these things um you know there's not one specific thing i mean i i have hundreds of videos because there's just [[43:09]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2589s) not one specific thing you know that's the one thing about parenting is that there's just i i have said empathy is the most important thing uh because people force me to choose and pick one thing but you know gratitude um patience you know these are all really really important especially when children are young [Music] oh things are coming in let me see if i can um [[43:51]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2631s) dan had said i you know i think a good topic that i don't know you've been through is how to be there for your wife during a miscarriage uh you're right that that is that is a big one um i and and i may be able to do some research on it what i will tell you is that i you know i didn't go through it um and so that's what's hard sometimes is you know people will ask me about [[44:15]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2655s) divorce and people will ask me about other things and you know somebody had asked me about um uh you know in vitro or you know having surrogacy and so and and the difficulty is is that there's so many important topics that either you know i either need to get an expert on of that because it's not something that i have personal experience with and you know i can't imagine how difficult a miscarriage would be um you know the the advice i would have for [[44:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2683s) any situation where it's traumatic um where you know whether you're yourself or your well once when it's your significant other or spouse goes through something is having empathy for them you know it is putting yourself in their situation and understanding that it's devastating you know um i'll give you a different example and and this is me when i finally learned about empathy i was in grief counseling [[45:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2714s) and i was in a support group and i was at a um a meeting it was a support group it was all men it was only men and oh no no this time i went to the no wait that i'm trying to remember yes no so i was doing a grief counseling i was in it and it was all men but i went to another group and it was everybody it was men and women and i had been studying empathy and [[45:39]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2739s) learning about this parenting and doing all these things and i'm and people are going around the room talking about who they lost and you know i lost my mother another guy lost his brother another person lost their their sibling or their another sibling and then their whatever and one of the people there had lost their pet and my first reaction was you lost a pet that's not the same thing as me losing my mom you know that's my [[46:10]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2770s) first like i didn't say it out loud but i'm just being honest and candid like that's the first thing that runs through my mind and i saw how devastating it was for this person and i immediately switched and went to empathy and when this woman opened her mouth and started talking about her story and she lived alone and she lived alone for years and her pet was her companion for years [[46:42]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2802s) and so for her it was so devastating and i i immediately switched and i i was like kind of mad at myself for thinking that that i immediately switched to empathy realizing that who am i to judge somebody else's grief and in that moment that's where i i mean another moment because many i had many of them where i realized how powerful empathy was i put myself in the place of this person this was an older lady [[47:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2834s) she was so devastated she was in fact she was much more emotional in that session than most of the other people there so for her it absolutely was devastating and the reason i tell the story is that this is the same type of thing that we have to bring ourselves in parenting when your three-year-old is upset that they can't find their perfect dress or that they don't get you know to eat something whatever and they start crying [[47:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2867s) to them it is very devastating and it's hard for us as a grown man to put ourselves in the place of a three-year-old girl and say you know what not having my dress that i really wanted or that toy or that cookie or whatever is really upsetting and that is empathy when you do that when you put yourself [[48:17]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2897s) in the place of the other person you will relate to them different you will handle things differently and better and you will begin to understand what other people are going through now this goes through empathy is can solve so many problems we're talking about you know racial situations and religious situations and political situations whatever it is [[48:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2928s) you don't have to even agree with it you know i didn't have to agree per se that that woman should or shouldn't whatever you know that making a judgment about it all i had to do was say wow for that woman in her situation she is devastated she's so devastated that that would suck to be in her situation that's what we have to do with our kids [[49:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2958s) you put yourself in the situation of your child everything changes so i'm just telling you it's a big one um i know i'm going off on a tangent uh matthew hopefully that helped um cool glad you guys enjoyed it uh mark hello having my first randomly crave across your videos thank you for taking the time absolutely thank you for being here [[49:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=2992s) um mg good to see you laser one uh we homeschool as well as working works great but we never get the time to ourselves and it gets very boring at times any tips for finding time to feel like an adult yes when the kids go to sleep is one um you know transform your if you have a patio or a backyard or you know even your own bedroom and [[50:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3023s) transform that into something you know and get get maybe a little excited about it and say hey let's plan something um depends it depends what you need to feel like an adult you know for for anybody i think you have to define that you know with your significant other and um if it's for you if it's just time for you you said we um you know if it is time the other thing is to [[50:54]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3054s) trade off and hand off to each other you know that was something early on even though we weren't in quarantine but my wife and i were really good at was you know she would take the kids and do something and i would have my free time and then vice versa like on the weekends you know i i would get up early and and watch the children so she could sleep in and for her that's what she wanted to do [[51:15]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3075s) so it's just talking out those things you know with your partner um [Music] uh enrique says as a future dad to my firstborn girl do very soon what are the top things that dads can do to teach their girls i've got some videos on that i wouldn't here's here's what i would suggest instead of that question i know that it feels like it's important [[51:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3108s) i wouldn't stress about that yet you know don't put too much in your brain about um you know teaching boy versus girl or even like you know that you're teaching things because when the baby is born you've got a lot of time i mean it'll go by fast but you've got time and so what happens is that time i would say is to spend you know concentrating on improving things for yourself improve your patience improve your you know your [[52:20]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3140s) empathy improve those things the other thing i would say about teaching girls versus boys is don't treat them differently you know i have a boy and a girl and that was something we were very adamant about was not treating them differently you know other than um you're wiping you know don't don't wipe a girl from back to front as a baby there isn't differences you know let them choose what they like whether it be clothes [[52:51]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3171s) what they play with you know give them options um you know my daughter loved playing in the dirt and people would have thought that that's a quote boy thing you know she would wear whatever dress and then go play in the mud or you know or and she's in martial arts as a young kid we put you know we exposed her to and said hey do you want to do this she was like yeah you know and vice versa for my son my [[53:17]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3197s) son has you know what people would consider you know he has empathy and he's he's more sensitive to things but yet still very boy um it's just um [Laughter] mrs m your face is super chiseled um i will take that as a compliment and she thought i was a cyborg i take care of myself i eat really well maybe that's why my face is chiseled um [[53:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3229s) i am old though um so uh that's interesting you get very interesting things you should see some of the comments that i don't bring up um i've had some interesting ones most most people are pretty positive but there's ever once in a while there's those people that like uh like to say something um uh mark was there anything that surprised you or that you disagreed with about how your wife dealt with a certain [[54:19]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3259s) parenting situation or decision um yeah uh well luckily we went to the same um parenting classes so we started out very similar and we have very very similar parenting views i will say that you know in the traditional sense i would be considered a little bit more strict maybe you know i'm more strict on time you know making sure the kids are going to bed on time or stuff um [Music] but we agree on a lot of things um what [[54:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3292s) i will say rather i'm trying to think of a situation in which we um my wife is a little more um liberal with what she is comfortable teaching our children than i am at the age and what i mean by that she's a nurse so things about the body sexually you know those kinds of things she i think [[55:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3323s) um she would teach them earlier than maybe i would and so my children were probably exposed to [Music] lessons and information and things earlier than i was probably comfortable with um you know she's talked about drugs and she's talked about alcohol and all kinds of things that this before i was probably ready or prepared or even had thought about it with our children thinking that [[55:55]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3355s) you know um so maybe in that sense but you know they're not drastic but for the most part we also have kind of the rules if we do disagree it's not in front of the kids um so there are situations that we may you know have a little bit different philosophy but we'll talk about it afterwards and we're both both very respectful of that um you know we don't defy each other in front of the children [[56:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3381s) um i love when people ask questions that just don't make sense i'm not going to read your question but thank you for asking and i will but i'll gladly tell you that no belts are not a good option chains are not a good option um i don't think there is actually ever a good reason to physically hit a child um never i never have never will [[56:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3412s) i'd like to think that my children are respectful and they good values they are respectful towards others they are empathetic moral judgment is good um their behavior is good um doinks i i know you're playing around but you'd be surprised there are people who still think that that is okay and that spanking [Music] don't you want to see it go to the facebook [[57:24]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3444s) the dad facebook groups um i'm always amazed at how people and and here's what it comes down to is that people use physical punishment people use physical punishment because they don't know any other way to solve the problem you know it's the same thing we do with yelling you know we yell because we don't have a different solution we don't have a better solution [[57:55]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3475s) of solving it so i think that that is something that it just is a problem um sorry i'm getting messages and turn off my phone getting notifications um i should have thought i already did that um and we just don't have the answers to solve the problem so that is what we do is you know we [[58:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3508s) yell and we do that so um do you guys want to see something cool actually i don't i don't know why but i'm looking at my background and seeing how boring it is um let me try something where is it hold on i'll be right back stay stay tuned so i can change the background let's see oh there we go [[58:59]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3539s) that's way cooler that's what i do in my videos i should have done that all along but does it change my lighting at all um let's see i could do one that color let's do green how about that what do you guys think vote uh in the chat for a color blue here's blue i'll do blue again or purple it's kind of a purplish [[59:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3570s) it makes me look yellow or orange you know what i actually like white let's try that the white looks good there we go if you like a certain color let me know um [Music] i don't know why i thought that was cool but um because it was just it was getting a little bit stale uh you know i'm always looking at the background and such um i got a couple minutes here and then i gotta go but [[60:02]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3602s) um totally forgetting that it's oh my goodness it's almost 8 40 i'm in pacific time which is late you know i get up really early so it's it's bedtime um [Music] you guys got some good chat going um you guys are funny [[60:42]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3642s) asking newborn tips good chats going um mrs m has asked can you please help first-time dads because he's here now and listening well depends what's your question what specifically do you want to know i have a lot of videos that are probably going to be a little bit more helpful than just one you know one specific answer [[61:12]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3672s) watch the videos about being a first-time dad here's what i will say you know a lot of times um [Music] we get upset and our you know men show our emotions and our trauma and things often sometimes in different ways than women do and so for us you know and i'm not talking that this is your situation but what happens is is that you know we have [[61:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3703s) anxiety about being a dad we have stress about whatever else is going on in our lives and we that sometimes can manifest itself in different ways it can be addiction um you know all kinds of different addictions it can be anger you know and so when we are in heightened states of emotion it can manifest itself in all different ways and and as a partner that is hard sometimes to deal with and so you know i know for me as an example [[62:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3736s) when i'm really stressed about my work that affects how i deal with everybody in my family i try not to let it do that but my wife knows and she just is like all right you know he's stressful you know he's stressing out it she doesn't take it personally and and that's because we've had those talks about like she may say something and then i get upset but it has nothing to do with her it's the fact that i was upset at [[62:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3763s) something else and i think it's important for people to be more aware of that so if you have a specific question i'd be happy to answer um so i will answer how evil world um how can i show my ex that i want to be in [[63:13]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3793s) the baby's life um well i mean you show her by doing it um you can say it all you want but it's saying it's actually making a plan to meet up and spend time with a child and do it um you know be very very clear that you want to spend time with the child and do it and you know spend quality time and and get to know your child so i you know i don't know how old um you [[63:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3825s) know if it's a brand new baby but there is no other way other than just doing it you know talk is cheap um what you also may do is find out what your ex's love language is and the reason i say that is um [Music] she you know if if the child she's the ch she's the gateway to the child you have to be really nice to her that's just the way that it is [[64:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3856s) so she has to trust you she has to and so if you really want to be in the child's life you've got to play the game and you have to be nice to her and you have to be empathetic towards her and you have to support her and say god you know i know it's real it has to be really hard you know doing what you're doing and you know it might be fake at first but you fake [[64:40]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3880s) it till you make it and the truth is is that you have to have appreciation for her and you've got to treat her well if if she is the one that's taking care of the child and you want to see that child so i think you've got to make real effort and you've got to be genuine and you've got to be honest and you've got to you know and you got to be persistent you know you don't just do it once you [[65:02]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3902s) do it over and over and over again and and you follow through with what it is that you say you're gonna do you know so you say hey i'm gonna meet you up on friday at six o'clock meet there at six o'clock and be there be reliable um yeah that's all i can say i mean it's pretty straightforward at least it seems so uh mia caroline my daughter has been able to get by in school and the rest [[65:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3926s) of her life with very little effort but she is no longer able to do this how do i teach her to work harder without being overbearing there's probably more to the story um you can't so one of the things is having a discussion with your child of you know of asking her what is it that she wants [[65:57]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3957s) you know out of school out of you know if it is her school and she maybe she's not doing as well as she she should have and then you know it's having a mature conversation of saying you know is you know what is it that you want to do do you want to be a good student do you because here's the difficulty and this this one's a little bit uh close to my heart because i was an [[66:27]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=3987s) overachiever i wanted my parents you know to be happy i wanted myself to achieve i got good grades i studied hard i was an athlete i stayed away from trouble i was trying to be the perfect child the end result of that not an end result the end result might be okay now but the end result for many many years was stress [[66:58]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4018s) anxiety high blood pressure unhappiness and until i came to terms with the fact that it's okay not to be perfect and driven all the time was eating me up and so i'm very sensitive to this with my kids um and so what you do is you have those conversations is you have the conversation to say you know what is it that you want to be [[67:29]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4049s) what is it that you want to do and if your child says you know what i want to do this and that's different from what you want you've got to be careful of that and you i mean i i'm sensing that you don't want to be overbearing because you said that so you know up until seventh grade it is pretty easy you know things are easy so i think you have to have that conversation and and [[67:59]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4079s) figure out what it is that she wants and if she doesn't want to do x y and z are you gonna be okay with that um you know you it sounds like you want her to achieve which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can be difficult and so then the other part of it is is asking her if she needs help you know because let's just say you know she's not doing very well she's [[68:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4111s) a little bit lazy here's what i will say too is it seventh grade that that does start to happen they want to sleep in a little bit more they start becoming a little bit more concerned about their friends and you know i have a 7th grader as well [Music] you've got to find out what does interest her how she prefers to learn is another way um you know sometimes people get discouraged and then the other thing is giving her [[68:58]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4138s) positive reinforcement so i would give her a lot of positive reinforcement on the things that she does do well and she may want to repeat that behavior you know and say hey you know i saw that you were doing that you know or you know i saw that you were reading the other day you know how did that feel how did it feel to get the thing done or you know thank you for you know doing [[69:22]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4162s) your work or thank you for you know cleaning your room you know whatever it is it's important to do that positive reinforcement i hope that answers the question there's a lot more context here that i don't you know i don't have but um i think it is important if you can remember be empathetic towards her and what she might be going through in seventh grade um i don't know you know her maturity um she's going through puberty that can [[69:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4192s) cause all kinds of havoc as well so be empathetic towards that find out what it is that you know something could be going on and you want to keep that communication going so you do not want to come down hard on her because it's not going to work i can guarantee that one um and see if see if that helps and then report back um but wow i've been on for an hour and ten minutes that's a long time [[70:19]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4219s) uh i'm gonna get i gotta get going to my house to home and see my family i'm in my office right now that's not at my house um but i do want to thank everybody make sure to subscribe like the video um although i'm not sure i'm keeping this one up but we'll see also if you want more information about the course uh starting next week uh my course it's got all kinds of stuff private discussion [[70:48]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7cKSdWv2cA&t=4248s) um my battery is running low um give me send me an email info at dad university dot com let me know you're interested and for more information we'll have a phone conversation see if it's a good fit for you um but everything else i hope everyone has a great weekend and uh i'll probably you know try to do some more of these but uh have a good weekend and i'll see you guys soon take care