How to Be a Dad - These Are The 7 Basic Principles | Dad University

0:00 anytime you learn something new you've got to start with the fundamentals the basics and being a dad is no different if you just found out you're going to be a dad congratulations in a short while your life is going to be filled with diapers feeding sleeping burping and napping i'm talking about the child well all of that stuff seems really important that part of your child's life is really short now there are those times where

0:30 it's not gonna feel very short but i assure you that it is and in the big picture you'll see that what i'm talking about in today's video is the really important stuff that will last a lifetime this is the formula for how to be a dad i've come up with seven principles for this formula now if you follow these principles you are on your way to being a great dad and you can use this video as a guide

0:59 so if you want to know how to be a dad watch this video [Music] hey guys i'm jason kreidman creator of the dad university parenting program if you are a dad and want to go from overwhelmed and confused to calm and confident parent then my parenting program is for you set up a phone call with me to see if you are a good fit i'll put some information in the description below the first principle for how to be a dad

1:28 commitment i mentioned in the beginning that if you want to learn something new you've got to learn the basics well you also have to commit to whatever it is that you want to learn you want to be a great musician you better practice a lot and you're not going to be very good when you first start out or when you try something new or you try to advance the level that you're on but it takes that commitment so you have

1:55 to make that decision that you want to commit you want to get into better shape well exercising once a week isn't going to cut it you have to commit to eating better and moving your body on a regular basis you have to commit to getting in shape you want to learn how to be a father well just like music or just like getting in shape you have to commit the first step is telling yourself that you're going to

2:21 commit and then your actions have to support your words the second principle on how to be a dad contact give your child affection more affection than you think kisses hugs holding their hand all of those are excellent for their well-being research has shown that the lack of physical affection can be really detrimental to babies there are stories of infant mortality rates being as high as 30 to 40 percent

2:52 inside orphanages where the babies did not receive any physical affection contact literally changes the neural pathways in the brain the body releases oxytocin which makes us feel good it makes us feel loved and connected and i mean think about it for yourself when somebody kisses you or gives you physical affection that feels really good well babies and children are the same way and so they really thrive off that physical contact here are some

3:24 additional positive effects of contact children are reported to have higher self-esteem the parent-child communication is improved children have fewer psychological and behavioral problems as well as boosted academic performance i don't know about you but all those things give a pretty good argument that we need to give our children a lot of affection number three connect if you want to go from good dad to great dad then connection is the key

3:57 connection is the bond it's the relationship and the closeness that you feel with your child but more importantly it's the one that your child feels with you i will tell you that if you're about to be a dad or you're a brand new dad and you're not feeling extremely connected to your child that's okay that's totally normal it takes time to connect with your child but here are some ways that you can connect with your child

4:24 playing a game that your child likes uh maybe reading together or if they're old enough have conversation talk with them and one that a lot of people love to do share a meal together as you can see the common theme with all of these is about spending time together it's the quality time it's you being present it's very difficult to establish and maintain connection if you are not spending time with your child now if you don't have a lot of time with

4:55 your child you don't have that opportunity to spend a lot of time well then make the time that you do have count number four communicate in its simplest form this is having conversations with your child when your child's really young maybe they're not talking back to you you can still have the conversation with them and there are different types of communication now this is verbal communication when you're having that conversation but we also have non-verbal communication

5:26 this can be facial expressions or your body language as a dad we have a lot of opportunities for non-verbal communication with our children think about that face that your dad would give you when you were about to get in trouble he didn't need to say anything you knew exactly what he was thinking well this is true for you as well whether you are sad happy frustrated or angry you are communicating non-verbally with your child however the

5:58 biggest part of communicating with your child listening being able to hear your child and really listen to them is crucial on how to be a dad in my course for dads we go into great detail about communication how to communicate with your child so that they will hear you and listen number five character character is who you are as a person you know how you act how you treat other people there is good character and bad

6:30 character and as a father you lead by example you may have heard the phrase monkey see monkey do well your child is watching listening and copying nearly everything you do if you want your child to have morals or be respectful be kind well you have to lead by example and that is character your decisions no longer affect just you you've got little ears listening and

7:01 little eyes watching so be mindful of that and display the character that you would want of them the sixth principle on how to be a dad coaching now you may call yourself a parent but i'm gonna suggest you think of yourself as a coach you are teaching your child the ways of the world when your child makes a mistake they're not to be yelled at or berated or belittled they're to be shown how to fix that

7:30 mistake so we provide them that support and that encouragement to fix their mistakes we are their coach i have numerous videos on punishment and how most of us are doing it wrong if you want your child to have good self-esteem and good self-acceptance well then you support them you teach them and you instruct them that is our job as a coach when i switch my mentality from a parent to a coach my parenting and the relationship with my children

8:01 drastically improved and the final number seven principle on how to be a dad consistency we are really good at making excuses on how we are not consistent we have all kinds of reasons why we can't do this or we didn't do that but if you want to be successful at anything you have to be consistent with all of these principles if you're just doing them occasionally or sort of doing them you're not going to get the end result

8:34 that you desire you can call it dad success you can call it whatever you want we all may define it differently but if you're seeking something and you want to be successful at being a father you have to have that commitment and that consistency follow these seven principles and you can be the amazing dad that you know you can be it's in all of us now it's not easy it takes time and effort and commitment and consistency

9:03 but the journey is amazing and the reward is incredible if you want to go more in depth into these principles i encourage you to check out my parenting program i'll put some information in the description below i would love to hear from you what is the most exciting thing to you about being a dad leave your feedback in the comment section below and as always make sure to give this video a thumbs up because it helps us spread

9:29 our message all over and if you know anybody that might enjoy this please share it with them we'll see you next time