FAQ: Do we need ALL members in the family to do CD? What if they don't?

0:00 your job is to work on you and certainly you're going to model all of these things because you're going to be doing them but your job is not to force make or cause anyone to feel guilty because they're not using conscious discipline there's another question what if the grandparents don't do it what I would strongly suggest is instead of trying to force people to do it when when those folks are uncomfortable or say oh you're being too soft or you this kid needs

0:32 some discipline now is your chance to use conscious discipline with them take a deep breath choose to see the best in them choose to see that it's scary for them to change that you've decided to make this change in this journey before they did your judgment only be gets judgment back at you when you let go of that judgment believe it or not they start to go well you know okay and I can tell you here's what quietly happened at

1:03 my house my husband was not going to do that he said you know look at me I turned out just fine little did I know 7 months after I'd been implementing conscious discipline in my home we went on vacation and somebody ran in from the boardwalk and said oh my gosh I just saw magic on the boardwalk I said you did what magic did you see at that point my son was three at just at the age where

1:27 you know they do the whole limp body thing you know you hold their hand and they're all limp and they won't walk and I said what magic did you see well Sam he just was gonna lay down on the boardwalk and not walk any farther because he wanted to do something he wanted to stop at a shop and my husband said we're keep we're going to keep walking and she I said well what was the magic that you saw and she said it was

1:49 unbelievable I said what did he do and she said he looked right at him and he said do you want to hold my hand or do you want to ride on Aunt Tam's shoulders and I said my husband said that and she said yeah and I said interesting so when he come came in I said what gives I've never heard you in fact I've kind of heard you mock some of the stuff that I do and he

2:16 said you think I'm going to practice in front of the expert and I said oh touche understand you're right so sometimes the modeling that you do with your family members even your parents quietly they go away and in the safety of their own place they give that a try but they are not going to try those new skills in front of you so that would be a critical piece now I can also tell you about the grandparent piece here's what

2:48 happens when you teach this to your children at a very young age it becomes the way that they see the world it's their first language so when your parents say or act in a traditional or fear-based way you've already armed your children with skills how to handle upset situations I can't tell you how many times my three-year-old daughter sat in the back of my dad's car in her little car seat while he was yelling at

3:19 everyone outside who was driving too slow or didn't turn when they were supposed to or didn't put their turn signal on and she'd say paa you need to take a big deep breath it's not nobody's fault take a dig big breath and she and he would laugh and giggle and of course guess what would happen he would change a state and I didn't have to put earplugs in her ears so we have to realize that when we arm

3:47 our kids with these skills they're prepared for meeting people in the world who don't have these skills and it's not ruining them when they run into somebody that doesn't have them they just get to practice and use their new skills