Why you should feel GREAT as a working parent. 5 Guilt-Free Mindsets from The Parenting Junkie

0:00 every so often i'll get a note from a parent who's feeling guilty that they have to work so much and can't be home with their little kids maybe it's a mom who has to go back to her job just a few short weeks after she's had her baby or maybe it's someone who's dying to homeschool and wishes they could be home with their kids a lot more but has an intense job outside of the home or maybe

0:22 it's someone who's working a part-time job or a side hustle from home and feeling guilty that they're on their phone or on their computer when they could be playing with their kids or spending quality time with them so often these parents write to me saying they feel bad that their kids don't see them as much as they could or they feel bad that they're distracted and that their attention is going elsewhere other than just their children and asking me what i

0:48 think about this and what they should do sometimes parents are worried about going back to school to finish their degree or taking up a job they've been offered because they're worried about how it will impact their relationship with their child and they feel that they would feel guilty about all that time spent elsewhere i feel really passionate about this subject because here's one thing that i'm allergic to dogmatic one-size-fits-all parenting advice and when people make blanket statements like

1:19 mothers should be home with their babies i think that that is missing so much nuance and it's really doing a huge disservice to all of us parents who are unique individuals with very unique circumstances we're all different our children are all different our needs aspirations goals beliefs value systems cultures origins and our resources are all different and therefore the answer is always going to be as magda gerber

1:49 said it depends it depends on your long-term goals on your values on your temperament on what you enjoy and don't enjoy hi i'm avitao i'm a mindset coach for parents and i'm the mother of five and my whole goal here at the parenting junkie is to help you to love parenting and to parent from love now you can't very well love parenting or even parent from love when you feel guilty about you investing time and energy in your

2:21 projects in your work in your career in your job or in whatever it is that you need to invest time in is it wonderful to be a stay-at-home parent yes for some parents some parents make that choice make those sacrifices have the resources and want that lifestyle and can make it work and that's wonderful for them and i 100 support any parent who makes that choice is it also wonderful to have a job a career a business a side hustle or

2:53 anything else yes that's equally wonderful in a different way they are both 100 valid lifestyles and i don't think one is better than the other although one might be better than the other for you parents will choose to work for so many reasons because they have to put food on the table because they want to upgrade their lifestyle and make yet more money because they have to get out of debt because they enjoy it and it fulfills

3:23 them because they're passionate about it and it's important to them so many different reasons that people seek outside work apart from being home with their children beyond just the fact that most of us have to do that in order to survive so my point here is that there are two things you must remember and i would suggest that you try to replace any sense of guilt with these two ideas we'll get right back to the show in just

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4:21 play inducing haven you can do this on a low budget in a tiny home and with very little time go to the parentingjunkie.com forward slash play now and grab it now to get started today let's get back to the show number one is that you are providing for your children if you are running any kind of business hustle job you know out of the house from seven to

4:51 seven running two jobs with back-to-back shifts or night shifts or weekends or just working you know an hour from home every day whatever it is that you're doing you're providing for your children you're doing work that pays you that puts food on the table that builds security for your family that gets you out of debt or that allows you to buy things and upgrade your lifestyle or enjoy your life and that is valuable that is good

5:20 parenting that is what responsible parents do often in order to care for their children in other words making money is part of parenting because it's the part where we provide right so if your partner or whatever other financial resources you have aren't enough to cover that and you want to and have decided to or need to go out and make more money through your job you should feel proud of that and grateful that you have those opportunities i

5:50 don't think we should feel guilty that we're spending time providing for our family that's what responsible adults have to do that's part of adulting that's part of being grown up and i never apologize to my children for needing to work is it annoying sometimes when i have to work really long days or nights or times when i was supposed to hang out with them and instead i have to work sure they might prefer me to be able to be

6:16 more with them but on the other hand i'm doing that in large part because i want to provide for them and for my family and i don't think that i need to feel guilty about that or that my children should feel sorry for themselves that's just part of being a great parent you know parenting can be the active act of caring for our children or it can be making sure that they are well cared for in a school or with a babysitter or with

6:43 your partner with grandma whilst you go and do the other things that you have to do now hear what i'm saying here i'm not saying that good parents must work some don't have to or choose not to for whatever reasons i am saying that if you do work that is part of your parenting that is a good thing you are doing for your children and i don't think you need to feel guilty about that for one single

7:07 minute here's the other thing that's really important about working and why you should feel great as a working parent when you are out there doing your job in whatever capacity that is you are modeling for your child what it takes what it takes to be an adult in the world what it takes to succeed what it takes to do meaningful work or to provide financially or whatever it is that you're doing maybe you're volunteering maybe you run a big

7:35 business maybe you have a simple job that you love and that puts food on the table maybe you have several jobs that you hate but they put food on the table whatever it is that you're doing you are modeling for your child what it means to work and why we do it and if you can do that in a way that is actually helpful to them showing them that you're grateful for the work showing them that

7:57 you put your best foot forward showing them that there are some hard days or sometimes you don't feel like doing it but you do it anyway those types of things are modeling incredible skills for our children for their future and actually building their own perception of what work is what it could feel like what it could look like when is it that we just kind of roll up our sleeves and do the hard work even though we don't feel like it and when is

8:20 it that we leave a job and take a risk on ourselves or build a business or hire help or all the different things that go into our various jobs and careers that's not a bad thing at all that's nothing to feel guilty about that's something to feel grateful for and proud of and again it's a tool that we use to model for our children what it takes to be an adult and to work in the world so i want all

8:45 my stay-at-home moms and dads to feel really proud and at peace with their choice and equally all my working parents to feel really proud and at peace with their choice with the knowledge that there's also often an opportunity to switch between these two right to take some time off perhaps for maternity leave to switch job in a way that caters better to your family lifestyle i mean in today's day and age there really is quite a lot of flexibility for a lot of

9:14 us within our jobs and trying to figure out ones that are family friendly but even if you're working you know night shifts or seven to seven or weekends or a really hardcore job away from your children remember you're providing for them and you're modeling for them and those are never things that you should feel guilty about all right if you liked this and it was helpful hit the thumbs up don't forget to subscribe and keep on loving parenting and

9:41 parenting from love