Learning from Parenting Mistakes: How God Taught One Dad the Value of Safety | [Mini-Episode]

0:00 [Music] Welcome to the Connected Families podcast. Hey, what do you guys think of that new music? It's for our theme this month. Not perfect, still super, every family is a hero. And that's you, mom, dad, grandmother, teacher. You guys are those everyday superheroes. But without the cake, and we know that you're juggling a lot. So that's why this month we are doing one micro episode 6 days a week from our discipline that connects course and we are so glad that you are here.

0:35 Hey friends, welcome to day two of our October podcast miniseries. It is all about being imperfect superhero families who are showing up and committed. Today I have one of those parents from our community named Dr. Bo on the show to tell his story. Dr. Bo Bryson has owned Trinity Chiropractic for over 20 years and authored two books, Create a Trinity Lifestyle and Benefits of the Cross. He lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, with his better half, Jennifer. They have four children. Dr. Bose's life verse is Joshua 18. And I will have a link to Bose's books in the show notes. Well, you know, 10 years ago, Dr. Bo wrote a story that we published on our blog.

1:22 I'll also have a link for that in the show notes. But the story was about a night when his little daughter was supposed to sleep over at grandma's house, but showed up at the door at 10:30 p.m. interrupting their plans to go through discipline that connects that. You're going to hear him. He actually says, "Doesn't she know we're supposed to be learning about parenting right now?" Oh. I asked Dr. Bo to come on the show and to read his story in his own words. I'm so grateful to Dr. Bo and his wife Jennifer. You know, they have been monthly givers to connected families for years and years. We need six new monthly donors today to join the table community. Would you commit to $35 a month? As a thank you, you will receive access to the discipline that connects course, one for you and one for your friend. We want you to be able to share helpful tools with those people in your world. Okay. Well, while you listen to Dr. Bo tell his story, would you tap through to the show notes and sign up?

2:32 Thank you for that. All right. Let's welcome Dr. Bo. >> Hello. I am Dr. Bo as I am caught around here in my office. It's been over 10 years since my wife and I went through the discipline that connects online course. Our fourth child named Eley was just a little baby. We had a scheduled time each week and went through the course session by session. What drew us to the course was a framework for parenting that connected family teaches.

2:55 That framework includes four things. You are safe. You are loved no matter what. You are called and capable. And you are responsible. As my wife and I learned the framework and continue to press into the connected family blog post and all the other resources that they have, we felt supported in our parenting. Because of that, we have been monthly financial supporters. I'm going to read a story that I wrote for my blog approximately 10 years ago about the night I learned about one part of that framework specifically. You are safe with me and what that really looks like in dayto-day parenting. while I read. Will you consider becoming one of the six new monthly donors that connected families need today? Okay, here we go. A safe place. What do you think of when I use that phrase? Really, what do you think about? The picture that I think of is changing. Let me explain. Our youngest, Eley, is finally asleep in the bed.

3:45 Elim, Kell, and Fallon, our other three children, are at the grandparents house for a sleepover. It is 10:30 at night and Jen and I sit on the bedroom floor, open the computer, and prepare to listen to our second class in a course titled Discipline that connects. Tonight's topic, you're safe with me. Little did I know I was to learn a valuable and very practical lesson in that very topic. J and I had purposely planned on the older three kids staying at their grandparents house. This way we could chat about a few items, home, work, and daily living that we've been needing to talk about and then start the course content. As we sat down to watch the course, the doorbell rings. We both look at each other and say, "It's got to be Fallon."

4:27 She loves the idea of spending the night with grandmama, but in reality, she never makes it. But this night, since it was already 10:30, we're like, "Oh, she's going to make it tonight." Jen got up and I followed her to the door about the time granddaddy handed Fallon to my wife. And what do I see? I see granddaddy smiling like it is no big deal that he's bringing her home. I see Jennifer smiling and I see Fallon smiling as she hugs her mom. Now enter me, the dad. Fallon saw me and what once was a smile turned into a scared I did something wrong look. Her smile faded.

4:59 She hit her head. I could tell from her reaction. My expression was saying something like this. What are you doing home? Did you not know that I want a time with your mom? Did you not know that you're interrupting our time to learn about parenting? I literally said, "Von, what are you doing home?" And before I could speak any more words, Jennifer, this is the one of the reasons I love my wife, interrupts me, looks directly at me, and says, "Fallon, we are glad you were home." I repeated the words with some other added words. I have no idea what they were. Hoping to make it all better. Jen took Fallon to the bedroom and snuggled with her for a moment while I got us ready again to watch the parents of course. With Fallon whimpering slightly in the bed, I opened up the computer and these words leaped off the page me. You are safe with me. I turned and looked at Jennifer. How does Falling feel with me right now? Jen smiled and said, very little, but her expression spoke much more. I understood fully what I needed to do. I closed the computer, climbed up on the bed, scooped my precious little girl into my arms, and gave her a hug and a look, and took the time to speak to her heart in the best way I could. I explained my expression and the way I felt, but also reminded her of this very significant truth. She is always welcome home. She gave me a hug and a kiss and said, "I love you, daddy." and rolled over to go to sleep. I sat back on the floor with my wife. She gave me a kiss and said, "Good job, Dad." And with that, I learned about being a safe place.

6:28 Discipline that connects with your child's heart was great. It was incredible. Actually, it was even greater because of the practical application that I just learned before watching the actual lesson. Truly, the course is allowing Jennifer and I to open our hearts to each other in a deeper, more vulnerable, communicative way. It is exhilarating and challenging all at the same time, but it is so worth it. As Jennifer and I continue to talk about this topic, the idea of being a safe place goes well beyond parenting.

6:54 It speaks into marriage and every other relationship that you have. I need a safe place to be me. I need a safe place to express my emotions and feelings. A safe place lets my feelings be validated. Yet at the same time, a safe place is able to speak truth into that situation. A safe place is a place I can be heard. And being heard, I can be understood, not necessarily agreed with. And being understood, I feel valued. And being valued, I am known. heard, understood, valued, known. That is a safe place. And lastly, I think of how this applies to my relationship with God. Do I consider God a safe place? Can I come to God with arms open, realizing, like the psalmist, God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.

7:42 And even though I stand at the edge of the cliff, I will not fear. Many times, sadly, I do not. And based on past experiences, not necessarily with God himself, I think God walks into the foyer like I did with Fallon, and has the same facial expression I had that speaks, "What are you doing here? Why are you interrupting me?" That is not how he responds. Nor is that his heart. Psalms 116:1-2 says, "He hears us." Psalms 139 says, "He understands us." Matthew 10:29-31 says, "He values us." And Jeremiah 15 says, "He knows us. God is our safe place." And based on that reality, I want to be a safe place for my family, too. You know, when Stacy at Connected Families contacted me to read this story that I wrote so long ago, she had to send it to me because I totally forgot I wrote it. My children are now 18, 15, 13, and 11. When I think about how I have grown as a parent and a husband over the last 10 years, I know that Jennifer nor I would have the connection with our kids that we do now if we did not learn about and practice being safe.

8:52 This is what connecting families is all about. Helping parents become that safe place for their children just as God is for us. Here's what's so cool, too, though. There's so many more stories about parents that have been helped by this ministry. I appreciate the chance to share my story. Let's be honest, parenting is hard, but the consistent and intentional effort is so worth it. Don't give up. You're not alone. Before I close, would you consider becoming one of the six monthly donors connected families need today? Your support helps them share these transformative stories with many more families like mine who need them a lot. Thank you for listening and thank you for considering how you can be a part of the mission to help support more families.

9:37 [Music] Oh, that was so good. I actually had tears in my eyes when he said he just scooped up his little girl and said to her, "You are always welcome home." Well, friends, you know, when Dr. Bo got done recording, we chatted. And he marveled at just how different they are as a family. and he thanked me for asking him to read his story because it highlighted to them just how different they are after 10 years. He expressed just how thankful he is for the solid relationship with their teen kids that they have. Well, I just say it's God and we are so grateful to equip parents to connect to God, to each other, and to their purposes in this world. Well, we need you this month. Will you join us in this ministry to support more families like Dr. Bose so that after time thousands more can say, "I'm so grateful for the connection I have with my children." Tap through to the show notes and be one of the six new monthly table members that are needed today. We're so grateful for you. Okay, friends. I will see you tomorrow with another mini podcast.