Transcript
0:00 when horrific things are happening in the world as they are right now our kids and frankly ourselves are bombarded by information disturbing imagery very upsetting things and as parents as Educators or other adults in the lives of kids we obviously want to talk to our kids about these things and there's a lot of advice out there about how to talk to your kids about distressing events
0:32 like this having specific words to to know that you can say and share is comforting when trying to talk about such challenging topics my advice however is to focus a whole lot less on what to say to our kids during difficult times and more on how to listen to them I mean how else are we going to know what to say how to respond how to reass assure them without understanding their experience their concerns their fears their worries and you know sometimes kids concerns
1:07 tend to be around things that we wouldn't have necessarily thought around things that impact them most immediately other times they are things we never would have guessed understanding their experiences and what they think what they feel that's going to be the best guide in helping us know how we should respond in very challenging circumstances like this so how do you bite your tongue and instead actively listen start by asking a lot of open-ended questions what have they heard
1:39 what have they seen what do they think how do they feel and if they tell you anything reflect back to them in your own words what you're hearing to make sure that you're understanding their experience accurately and if need be if they're not so forthcoming if they're having a hard time engaging in the conversation give them a little reassurance and take some tentative guesses about what they might be thinking or feeling and check in to see if you're right you know
2:08 ultimately even more than any blanket reassurances we might be able to provide during very difficult times like this feeling heard feeling listened to is comforting and calming in and of itself
Summary
- Focus on listening rather than just talking to children about distressing events.
- Use open-ended questions to encourage children to express their thoughts and feelings.
- Reflect back what children share to ensure accurate understanding of their experiences.
- If children are hesitant to engage, offer reassurance and make tentative guesses about their feelings.
- Feeling heard and understood can be more comforting than any reassurances provided.
- Children's concerns may differ from adult assumptions, highlighting the importance of open dialogue.