Transcript
0:00 When we think about what I I love you rituals actually do, they bring about the bonding quality within two human beings. So the four qualities of an I love you ritual are eye contact, touch, presence in a playful situation. And playful is the key. So we can do a lot of eye contact and touch and still be like this. Uh it's the playful aspect that says this is good, look for more of it. and it builds uh chemical reactions between child and parent that allow us to then be more cooperative. So this strong connection bond in just this few short minutes of of uh really pulling into your child and letting them see you are important, you are loved helps them move from that to a more cooperative and connected stance throughout the day. So, you know, one of them is, um, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, what a wonderful child you are. When you hold a child's cheeks and you say into their little eyes, what a wonderful child you are.
1:07 When you see those little eyes light up, you'll know why they're so valuable. Because in that moment, you're doing more than just giving them a hug or a kiss. You're really embedding within them this connection that says, "Nothing can separate us. We are together. We are in this together and you are valuable. In every situation when you find that you're disconnecting and that you're frustrated, an I love you ritual can bring you back into gear. And it's not that children are always going to be ready and willing to have those, but in just a short moment by just remembering um when I when I just touch your cheeks that we've already done Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. And now if I just touch your cheeks and look into your eyes for a moment, that same little experience can happen within them. So before, let's say we've got a little one who doesn't want to get out of their car seat or doesn't want to get in it, you just do a little bit of this.
Summary
- I love you rituals enhance bonding between parents and children.
- Key components include eye contact, touch, presence, and playfulness.
- Playfulness is essential for creating positive emotional connections.
- Rituals can help children feel valued and loved, promoting cooperation.
- Simple activities like singing and gentle touches reinforce the bond.
- These rituals can help reconnect during moments of frustration or disconnection.
- A quick touch or eye contact can evoke the same feelings as a longer ritual.
- Consistent practice of these rituals can lead to a more cooperative and connected relationship.