Transcript
0:00 now you might be thinking no he doesn't want to give me support he doesn't even see my struggles but let me tell you how many of my students and I can totally relate to this have trained their partner not to support them have trained their partner not to know when they're having a hard time when they need a hug when they need love and instead they run all sorts of manipulations and tests to see if their partner will be there for
0:25 them and show up for them which they inevitably fail at when you pretend like you don't need the support like you don't need the love when it's a stiff upper lip when you just keep stuffing your feelings down when you don't know how to honestly genuinely and authentically bring about the support and love that you need from your partner then you will be hungry for it you'll be needing it you'll be carrying this big baggage of resentment with you wherever
0:52 you go and you'll constantly be prodding and testing your partner hoping that this is the time that he'll suddenly say that you're the queen and that loves you and that he do anything for you and how can he support you and baby I see how tired you are and baby I see how hard you work and baby I see what a great mother you are and you're yearning and wanting those words but you don't know how to get them so instead you pick
1:15 fights you nag and you drag and that leads to the resentment building up more and more because he's never going to give you what you want from a nag and drag mindset instead we need to flip all of that on on its head and bring out a charm and disarm mindset the mindset that absolutely receives that brings about the type of support love connection admiration appreciation that you want from your partner and that frankly you deserve all of us do all of
1:45 us deserve love and connection but we're so inept at getting it we don't have the skills and we don't know how to get it and so we settle for humdrum you know reruns of the same conflicts and the same arguments that with the same pain and frustration and just layer more and more resentment on if you'd like to learn those skills in a effective way that you never saw at home that you never learned in University that you
2:11 certainly won't see in popular culture then head over to married.com marriage University is the place to get those skills and really learn how to create the marriage of your dreams with a partner that you've already got and the cool part is he doesn't even have to know this is something you can do all on your own on
Summary
- Many people unknowingly train their partners to be unsupportive by not expressing their emotional needs.
- Suppressing feelings leads to resentment and manipulative behaviors in relationships.
- Constant testing of partners for support often results in disappointment and conflict.
- A "nag and drag" mindset is counterproductive to receiving love and support.
- Shifting to a "charm and disarm" mindset can foster connection and appreciation.
- Many individuals lack the skills to effectively communicate their needs in relationships.
- Learning these skills can transform existing relationships without requiring partner involvement.
- Resources like Marriage University can provide the necessary tools to create a fulfilling marriage.