Transcript
0:08 I was sitting in that sitting room right outside the chapel, which I will never forget because I was sitting on the couch and I I think I felt complete and total despair is the only way to say how I felt. And so this nun walked by and she turned and looked at me and said, "Uh, is there anything I can do for you?" And I I realized that no one could help me, that I there's just no one could help me. So I said to her, I said, "No, thank you." And she left. And so I got up and I went into the chapel. And I was just kneeling there and I have no idea, I doubt seriously I was saying anything. I think I was just looking at the cross above the altar and then out of the blue, out of the absolute blue, suddenly um everything went gold and the crucifix started shimmering and the room was shimmering and I had this unbelievable experience of God loving me and I jumped up and ran out and ran to my room and I was standing in my room and I said I think out loud. I said I love myself. And the minute the very minute the word myself came out of my mouth I knew I had been completely transformed because up until that point I would have never said that. I would have said I love you because I I had no sense of myself. I thought of myself as you. And the minute the word myself came from my mouth, I knew and I've always known ever since that I would never ever cross that line again to being crisy.
Summary
- The speaker experienced deep despair while sitting in a chapel.
- A nun offered help, but the speaker felt that no one could assist them.
- In the chapel, the speaker had a mystical experience where everything appeared golden and shimmering.
- This experience led to a realization of God's love for them.
- The speaker expressed self-love for the first time, marking a significant personal transformation.
- They recognized the importance of self-identity, shifting from thinking of themselves as "you" to "myself."
- This moment solidified a commitment to never return to a state of self-neglect or despair.