Transcript
0:00 small positive behaviors like smiling like affectionate touches like little compliments like little acts of service making the coffee that you know quick massage they become self-reinforcing and they become lasting habits that actually do Boost relationship satisfaction over the Long Haul so when you measure like the Gutman Institute has coup's interactions they measure every micro interaction like do they look at each other do they smile at each other are they listening are they
0:31 just touching each other's hand are they laughing at each other's jokes right all of these small answers of bids for connection accumulate into one big picture about your relationship and those small positive reinforcements actually create a lasting habit and change the culture of the relationship okay so even if I'm faking it right even if I'm sending my husband a sweet text message even though I don't feel it at all it's still building the culture right a
1:03 little bit like even if I don't feel like being nurturing to my kids but I make them a sandwich I made the sandwich they received the nurture whether I felt it or didn't felt it is irrelevant I faked it but they got a mother who gave them a sandwich do you see so we're so busy in our culture talking about authenticity and do I feel it and do I really want it etc etc but when you just
1:26 do the thing it still builds up the relationship
Summary
- Small positive behaviors are self-reinforcing and lead to lasting habits.
- The Gutman Institute measures micro-interactions to assess relationship health.
- Positive interactions include eye contact, smiles, laughter, and physical touch.
- Engaging in these behaviors can improve relationship satisfaction, even if initially faked.
- Actions like making a sandwich for a child provide nurturing, regardless of the caregiver's feelings.
- The focus on authenticity can overshadow the importance of simply taking positive actions.
- Consistent small acts contribute to a supportive and nurturing relationship environment.