The Fastest Way to Build Resentment

0:00 Most men want their wives to be happy. That's really their deepest desire is just to put a smile on her face for her to just be chilled and happy and grateful and appreciate him and adore him and respect him. Okay, that's the that's the norm. And so assuming the worst is always going to get us down a terrible path. Rather than assuming the worst in your partner, assume that they like you are trying to do their best.

0:27 And yeah, maybe you need to troubleshoot. Like maybe this is a tiny apartment. I've lived in tiny apartments with little kids before and it's basically an unrealistic and impossible standard to allow me to sleep in because I'm a light sleeper. I'm a sensitive sleeper and every little noise wakes me up. So of course I'm going to be so frustrated expecting my husband to be able to keep little children quiet for that length of time. Hey, maybe this is a tiny apartment. Maybe these are tiny kids. Maybe we're dealing with like she says baby, right? Maybe it's a one-year-old. Like, I don't know. You go try keeping a one-year-old quiet for a while.

1:04 Maybe it's already 10:00 a.m. when she's shooting this. Maybe she's been sleeping in for 3 hours and it's like, gosh, it's already time to get up and get them out. Maybe it's 3 ft of snow outside and he can't take them outside or they've agreed as a couple not to use screen time. So, maybe they have set themselves up for failure in this particular challenge. So, first of all, we've got to be realistic and fair about our expectations of each other and then communicate those and troubleshoot them in ways that are possible to attain.