Transcript
0:00 so we all know that kids can drive us nuts we all know that and what I want you to really think about is when is it more likely to happen so have you ever noticed that your kids are more likely to get on your case and bug you when you're tired or in a hurry when you've got other things on your mind when you've already exhausted your willpower for the day so it's important to recognize that willpower is an
0:22 exhaustible resource we only have so much of it I you know I sometimes say even about myself my kindness Bank can be depleted and then I just don't want to be kind anymore so there's a point where we need to refill and if we're on each other's case about that instead of recognizing perhaps this is more about me than you right now perhaps I'm not in the best place to manage all that's coming at me we will stop blaming other
0:49 people for upsetting us if I'm feeling upset then I'm going to take responsibility for that just take a moment think about what's going on in me that makes this feel so much harder than it did just hours ago perhaps it's because there's so much going on I can't respond to you in with my best self and it's important that kids know that as adults we get tanked out they get tanked out so when I say to them I'm not at my
1:18 highest self right now I'm going to back up out of this situation so that I can regain my composure I'll be back it gives us a chance to stop and reflect we don't have to step stay in the argument it's you know it's kind of like you know you get that that that craziness and you're on the crazy train and it's like I'm going to stay on the crazy train and you're going to get the power of this as
1:40 soon as you recognize it's not going in a positive direction stop change directions and say I'll be in charge of me it's not anybody else's fault that I got crazy does that again you know we all want to blame somebody but back it up take a deep breath relax your body and pay attention to what you can bring to that circumstance rather than what you don't want to bring
Summary
- Kids are more likely to irritate parents when the latter are tired, hurried, or mentally overwhelmed.
- Willpower is an exhaustible resource; recognizing its limits can help in managing responses to children.
- Parents should take responsibility for their feelings and reactions instead of blaming their children.
- Acknowledging when you're not at your best allows for a pause in conflicts, promoting reflection and composure.
- It's important to communicate to children that adults also experience emotional fatigue.
- Stepping back from a heated moment can prevent escalation and allow for healthier interactions.
- Parents should focus on what they can contribute positively to a situation rather than what frustrates them.