Transcript
0:00 empathy is a giant piece in conscious discipline because this uh is the one that really helps children learn the formula in their own heads of going from those lower centers of having that survival moment and then coming up and understanding that they are in an emotional space and then being able to pull that emotion up to that executive state so that they can problem solve and what we tend to do with this emotional space is to say we want it to go away
0:32 just don't have your feelings and then everybody will be happy what we know and what we know inside our own Souls is those emotions are not things that we choose they are things that just Bubble Up Inside of us so because they Bubble Up we want them to be able to then be resolved not tapped down so that they become more toxic in our body so if I allow them to Bubble Up they need to go
0:54 somewhere they need to go back into a story that can make sense so here's how we say this the first thing that we say to this little emotional state is you seem you seem angry you seem frustrated you seem scared you seem sad and it's you seen because we don't really know what we tend to say to kids is I know I know you're angry and then what's the next word we say butt it's that butt
1:21 again so instead of that we're going to start with you seem and immediately pull that emotional state up to that executive state with what is it that caused this emotion to happen in the first place you seem angry you want it if I don't know I'm going to leave it as a question you seem angry you wanted anger comes from someplace what was it that happened that brought that up from you for you so you seem you
1:48 wanted if I know I can state it you seem angry you wanted to be able to stay and it's time to go and that's hard so once I get it up to that executive state with you want then I can say to them breathe with me I've acknowledged your story you seem angry you wanted to stay because you love doing this and it's hard when it's time to go and you still want to stay so breathe with
2:17 me because it is hard and now we offer choices again and we already went over choices so choices are you can check out when it's going to be open again and we'll take a schedule home so that you can put that out and we'll plan for another time or you can just walk to the car with me and then we'll check it out when we get home what works for you so now it's about organizing does this mean
2:39 they're going to walk happily to the car with you skipping and hopping no but it does mean that they at least have that soothing presence of you saying no wonder it's hard instead of stop complaining or we never come in here again so it's just that moment when we help them regulate that movement up and here's the beauty of this as they get older here's what they say in their heads when they're having a disappointment wow I seem really
3:07 disappointed by this I wanted it to go differently I love doing this and then it ended so I'm going to breathe because I can handle this wouldn't that be great to instill that in your child's brain for the rest of their lives
Summary
- Empathy helps children transition from survival instincts to emotional awareness.
- Acknowledging emotions is key; use phrases like "you seem" instead of asserting "I know."
- Emotions should be expressed and resolved rather than suppressed to prevent toxicity.
- Encourage children to articulate their feelings and desires, e.g., "You seem angry; you wanted to stay."
- Breathing exercises can help children regulate their emotions after acknowledgment.
- Offer choices to empower children and help them cope with transitions.
- Over time, children can learn to recognize and manage their emotions independently.
- This approach fosters long-term emotional resilience and self-regulation skills.