Transcript
0:00 Can we talk about teenagers one letter, maybe three letter text message responses to kind of complex important questions like, "Hey, I know you have a lot of homework tonight. How you feeling about it?" K. K? It doesn't even make sense. Hey, I know you're out with your friends, but I'm just confirming you're going to be home when you said you would. IDK. Like, what? Because then we get so angry. We treat our kids like the enemy. We end up lecturing them and everything blows up. But here's what I want you to think about and it's different from what you think I'm going to say.
0:29 Think about finishing a work meeting and you're in stress. You're still thinking about the meeting and I don't know, your partner texts you something like, "Hey, just confirming Saturday that we're going to drive to this place and we're going to have dinner with my parents." I don't know about you, but I might write back IDK. Cuz I'm just saying I I can't really transfer from my world right now to your world right now. I need a moment. And if I think about it that way, it's not about permitting our kids to write K or IDK.
0:56 It's actually just about being effective. Because now I might go to my kid in a calm mom moment and just say, "Hey, there are moments when I'm looking for answers to questions and I'll text you and I'll just get back a one letter answer that doesn't even really make sense for my question. And you know what I'm thinking about? I'm wondering if that's really a moment when you're kind of saying, 'Mom and Dad, like I'm not really in the place to answer this question or I'm surrounded by my friends. I need a moment.' And I'm on your team. I know you're on my team.
1:20 We're on the same team. Can we just figure out a different way to handle those moments? I want to know what your team says. Because I think there's going to be a softening and a willingness to work with you instead of against you.
Summary
- Teenagers often respond with short texts like "K" or "IDK" to complex questions, which can frustrate parents.
- Parents may misinterpret these responses as defiance or disrespect, leading to conflict.
- The speaker suggests that adults sometimes respond similarly when stressed, indicating a shared human experience.
- Acknowledging the context of a teenager's response can foster better communication.
- Parents are encouraged to approach conversations with empathy and understanding.
- The goal is to create a collaborative environment where both parties feel supported.
- Open dialogue about communication styles can strengthen the parent-teen relationship.