5 Decluttering Mistakes to Avoid (STOP SABOTAGING YOUR EFFORTS!)

0:00 in this video you're gonna learn five mistakes that we all make when it comes to decluttering and what you can do about them you're gonna want to stick with me until the end because I have an incredible declutter challenge it's absolutely free and I would love for you to join me details on that at the end if you're ready to love parenting and parent from love flower let's subscribe and like button don't forget to turn on the notification bellow so you can meet

0:22 me back here every Monday hi I'll be Tull of a mindful parenting coach and mother of four and I absolutely love talking about presence peace and play and reclaiming those for you and your family today I'm gonna share five ways we sabotage any decluttering that we want to do and I'm going to share what you can do about it if you're ready to declutter hit that like button and let's get started number one thinking it's one and done people

0:55 often tell me but I decluttered last year and they think that they're done decluttering now I know there are lots of different methodologies out there and some of them think that it is one and done but what I've seen with my clients is that that's simply not the case especially when there are young children around and especially if you live in a seasonal place things come in and out of your life in a pretty rapid pace kids bring home more and more art projects or

1:20 every time you go to the dentist they're given another little toy babysitter's friends and well-meaning family members bring lots of gifts that sometimes you don't want in your home or maybe you yourself are buying all sorts of stuff that you eventually realize you don't want that's okay the most important step here is to forgive yourself all of that and realize that decluttering is not one and done it's an ongoing process so yes there might be one major declutter of

1:48 every different category or room in your house but you're going to need to continue in your decluttering efforts all the time because things are coming in to your home all the time and equally they need to be leaving your home as your children outgrow certain things certain toys become irrelevant or things break those are the times that you're going to want to keep and can ually get those things out of your sacred space so please don't worry

2:16 yourself if things continue to accumulate of course we all want to watch our consumption habits and try to limit the things that we don't want coming in from coming in but we also have to forgive that this is the type of culture we live in and it's going to happen I keep a continual decluttering gangster bag on the go always there I'm always working it whenever I see things that we no longer need is going in there on the

2:39 regular for me that's the only way to make it work and I've seen that that's true for so many of the parents that I work with number two is decluttering in front of your kids now this is a complex one and of course it depends on your lifestyle on whether your kids are with you 24/7 and on the type of kitten you have some kids are really okay letting go of stuff they bless it and they move on and some parents manage to teach their kids about

3:04 decluttering in a way that feels good to both of them but when you want to do a real declutter a big overhaul it's going to be challenging with most kids at least from my experience most kids are going to say ah I need to hold on to that suddenly the toys that you've seen they haven't played with in over a year become their most prized possession but I love the little plastic teddy bear right and then it becomes very difficult because we don't want to take away

3:32 something that they say they love but in truth and in essence they haven't touched that I've taken any interest in it for years and they probably would never again and they might not even notice that it's gone now if your child is the kind of child that does notice and does care then of course you need to communicate with them when you're decluttering their belongings and then I would absolutely say hey baby here's the space that we have for your things for

3:57 your treasures or for your toys or for your artwork for your clothes and when this becomes full I'm gonna get rid of the stuff that you don't seem to be using if there's something that you really never want me to get rid of let me know of course I won't but on the whole we need to keep our home tidy we need to keep our possessions only to the things that we like to use so that our

4:18 home feels good to us and that we don't create a lot of mess and other people can enjoy these things it makes space for us to enjoy the next things that come into our home too so I absolutely think we should be teaching our kids and putting language around that and we should be transparent and authentic it's not that you should sneak behind their back but as long as you're actually communicating to all the children at

4:42 least that this is something that happens and you can let them know hey I'm gonna be decluttering next week let me know if there's anything that is out of balance of course you're never gonna take any of their prized possessions but if it's stuff that's been lying around for a long time no one's taken interest of all its stuff that's adding bad energy to your home like things that have a million little pieces and is always a

5:01 mess around it you take the liberty as the leader of the home to make that decision so you can communicate it to your child but I recommend doing it when they're not there if they're that type of kid at least right at least for me that's how it works when my kids are there I can do some decluttering but I can't do really in-depth you know work in other people's homes or in my own when there are children standing there saying no I love this I love that

5:25 because it's not real it's a holding feel feeling that comes up it's a fear-based feeling of like they're gonna take everything from me but the truth is that we have to focus on what we gain by the excetera we gain space we gain focus we gain a sense of soothing you know enjoyable beautiful space for ourselves and that's what we want to focus on with our children so it's not that I'm taking away the stuff that you love is that I'm clearing your

5:51 space so you can focus on the things that you do love leading on from that point point number three not donating the stuff immediately you've got to get it out ASAP because if you don't as I said before suddenly your children will find it and be like this is my best thing ever and you yourself will start to have your doubts creeping in again oh but maybe I will use this one day maybe these pants will fit me again maybe I do like those shoes after all when you

6:20 leave things around you start to get doubtful about it they start to creep right back in and all of your hard work went for nowt and you never got that satisfying feeling of truly clearing space whether you're selling it on eBay donating it to your local Salvation Army or whatever that you're doing try and do it in a timely fashion at the very least put it in your car if you have one to symbolize yourself that this is no longer part of

6:46 your home this is no longer yours maybe make that call to the pickup company that comes from the charity to pick up the bags try to get it out quicker rather than later because otherwise it's gonna migrate back in to your stuff and you'll feel like I'm never decluttering again it doesn't work anyway number four is going down the what if a rabbit hole you know the one what if I need this one day what if it fits me one day what if the person who gave me this

7:13 find out that I gave it away what if I regret this what if I need to buy it again what if it could work what if I could fix it what if I could patch it up the what if rabbit hole is every declutter is worst nightmare because you're trying to make space in your knife and you're trying to be intentional and only have the stuff that you want but this is just this massive sense of doubt that you're doing it wrong and you shouldn't do it in the

7:37 first place because what if the key were the what-if is to remember that it's a survival mechanism right it's that hoarding mentality we could hold on to it because maybe there'll be a famine maybe there'll be a dry drought and we will need these things in some capacity I think it's better energetically speaking to trust that we will have the exact things we need as we need them I know that many of us didn't have that experience so we don't know that in our

8:05 brains we don't feel that in our body we don't trust that we'll have what we needed so we hold on to the things that we frankly don't need you've got to address those stories and those limiting beliefs and learn to let go because you'll find that the beautiful experience of letting go holds its own gems as well when you hold on to stuff it might feel like security and it might feel like safety but it might also be slavery and enslavement into holding you

8:31 back in a prior version of yourself a prior version of your values or body or taste or size or finances that isn't true anymore you've got to let yourself evolve and you've got to let yourself send that message to the universe and to those around you that you're ready for the next level ready for the next iteration now this isn't a ploy for consumerism I'm not saying you should keep buying more I'm saying don't hold on to the things that aren't you

8:58 anymore allow those things out allow them to serve someone else and allow something else to come in in its place you can trust that you will have the things that you need because you are a creative capable individual and hopefully you can create that sense of safety within you and if there is a odd thing that you regret letting go of something that you did declutter that you probably shouldn't have remember that you gain something by that as well

9:30 first of all you learn an important lesson you took things a little bit too far and you learn where your edges and what is important to you and second of all in that decluttering spree you made space you got rid of things you created minimalism and soothed your environment so yes you got rid of something that you wish you hadn't it happens but on the other hand you got rid of a lot of things that you did need to do and probably that outweighs the cost and

9:58 finally don't take on too much at once when we decide we're ready to declutter we sometimes take on our entire house or all of the toys are all of the clothes and it becomes too much you get overwhelmed and then you give up without experiencing any sense of success and then you're never gonna do it again because it was too hard and you failed at it anyway so if you want my step-by-step declutter guide I've created a PDF for you and in fact a

10:24 challenge where I'm gonna hold your hand and we as a community are going to declutter together I'm so excited it's a free challenge and I want you to sign up if you check out the description box below you'll find a link when you sign up you're gonna get a video all about this decluttering and my story behind it and some of my personal truths here and it's a little vulnerable to share but I want to because this is so important to me and I believe in it so much plus

10:52 you're gonna get some really practical step step guides on what to do next so that you can experience success right now now if you're watching this sometime in the future this challenge might be over and I'm sorry but you can still follow the link in the description box below to be notified next time we're running this challenge now's the time to leave me a comment below are you ready to take on the challenge let me know whether

11:15 challenge accepted if you are doing it give me some love in the comments so that were like button if this is helpful for you and you want to hear more about decluttering doing that gives back to me and to our community because it helps other parents who might find this useful find it so thank you so very much and I would love to see you inside that challenge today now you're gonna win the slam on that subscribe button because here's what's coming next week we're

11:40 talking about another favorite topic of mine if you've spent all this money and energy on buying lots of beautiful toys for your kids and they're not playing without all this video is thank you