Transcript
0:00 to to really think about is why is asking a child to pause and maybe take a breath or whatever that is why is that not a request but a practice right H right because I believe that when people start hearing oh I've got an angry child well tell them to calm down right right or you know you make a request you're the authority figure you should tell them
0:31 you know this is it and and so I really want to ponder and think about like how is asking others to have a pause a practice and here's the thing that I think when it's a practice then at the end of it um you don't have to punish yourself right when it's a request and you didn't do it right then it goes back to all of that beat up language inside her head and all of that stuff that gets
1:00 all rant that we got to you know kind of sift out which we're going to talk about you know in the next little segment so so I think that asking kids to do that is a practice yes how have you seen it practiced in your building pausing with kids I've seen uh this kind of goes with justifying their emotions I feel like the some kids that I work with and again they come to me out of the situation
1:22 right and so I'll sit there and and they'll say I was mad and I'm like you know what that will make me really mad too like before we respond let's pause and then that acknowledgement plus the pause allows them to kind of get into their own mind okay so maybe I'm not ridiculous for feeling upset but maybe I shouldn't respond in that way but it's not me telling them you shouldn't respond in that way I get it so you're
1:48 helping them create the difference between reacting and responding and if there's no break in between there there's no pause it's almost impossible they don't have the skill yet so really giving them the chance to own that and say you know what I could have responded differently and having that space in between helps us communicate with them okay could we have respond it differently and that's been so transformative for for me working with kids to say hey hold on what you said
2:14 isn't ridiculous it's not that's not that happens I feel the same way I get that that would that would validation yes I got you but let's pause for a minute and then they say you know what I probably shouldn't have pushed him back or I probably shouldn't have and then they they own that that's them and you can support them in that and you're not just getting on to them and telling them what else to do they can see how they
2:37 can rethink and respond to the situation and and I think at the end of the day really what we want kids to be able to do is say when I feel infringed on when somebody's in my space when somebody takes my swing how can I pause between my impulse and my action right
Summary
- Asking children to pause is framed as a practice rather than a mere request, promoting self-awareness.
- Acknowledging children's feelings validates their emotions and encourages them to reflect on their responses.
- The pause allows children to consider alternative actions rather than reacting impulsively.
- This approach helps children develop skills for emotional regulation and communication.
- By creating a space between impulse and action, children learn to manage their emotions more effectively.
- The practice fosters a supportive environment where children can own their feelings and responses without fear of punishment.